Things Liars Fake: a Novella (a #ThreeLittleLies novella Book 3)(9)

So instead, I go with, “Um.”

“Has his mother met you yet?” Bethany asks, eyes sparkling. She is completely giddy.

I cast a helpless look at Dexter; he shakes his head, so I answer truthfully. “No ma’am.”

“No ma’am.” She parrots. “Ugh, I love that. You sound positively southern. Say something else. Say y’all.”

Laughing, I fake a southern accent (which I happen to be really good at) for his eccentric Aunt, whom I’ll never see again in my life. I put a hand on my hip for added effect and wave my other hand about airily.

“How y’all doin’? When life hands you lemons, put them in your sweet tea and thank Gawd you’re from the South.” I fan myself, channeling my inner Scarlet O’Hara and getting into the role. “Fiddle dee-dee!”

Beside me, Dexter groans, throwing his head back and staring at the ceiling. Oh my God, he mouths toward Heaven, running a hand down his face. “Please don’t encourage her.”

My eyes fly to the cords of his lean neck. His jawline. His Adam’s apple. I remove them swiftly when Aunt B follows my line of vision. A knowing smirk crosses her lips.

Crap.

Busted.

His aunt titters gleefully, speaking to her nephew. “Wait until I rub it in your mother’s face that I met your girlfriend before she did! She’s going to have a cow from the jealously. A cow.”

“Aunt Bethany, we’re not dating. Daphne is not my girlfriend.” The look he shoots me is apologetic. “Sorry Daphne, I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

Another blush warms my cheeks.

Bethany brushes him off. “Ach, you kids today and your secrecy. Why hide it? Why are you all so afraid of commitment? Please don’t tell me you’re on The Tinder? That’s a trolling site for hook-ups and, you know.”

She clucks her tongue, lecturing us on the downsides of dating in the 21st Century. “All you kids do is put everything on-the-line, but you don’t want to commit to a relationship.”

We must look horrified, because she takes one look at us and busts out laughing.

“Fine, fine, I won’t say anything if you’re trying to keep it a secret. Shhhh, my lips are sealed.” She makes another shushing sound, those brown eyes fixated on me. “I don’t know if Dex told you, but our family tree is full of nuts. I don’t blame him for keeping you a secret. Once the family finds out, it’s Good night Eileen.”

Good night, Eileen? I’m not… What the hell does that even mean?

She jabbers on. “Anywho, I better get going; my friend Brenda ran to the bathroom and she’ll have a hissy fit if I’m not standing where she left me when she walks out. Goodness, I can’t wait to tell Little Erik I bumped into you.”

Dexter snorts and turns to me with a grin. “Little Erik is my younger cousin. He kind of idolizes me,” he bashfully informs me. “He’s named after my Uncle Erik—Big Erik and Little Erik, get it? He’s also over six feet tall.”

“We like the irony of calling him little,” Bethany snickers. “It’s my favorite joke. Everyone is always expecting a toddler. My poor Sadie inherited all the short genes.” She gives her theater soda a shake, back and forth, swirling around the ice inside the cup.

“Sadie is your daughter?” I inquire politely, but genuinely interested.

His Aunt chatters on with great enthusiasm. “Yes! Nineteen going on forty-five; she’d rather stay home and read than go out with her friends. You’ll meet her at Grace’s party if she comes home from school that weekend.”

“Aunt B—”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not gonna tell a soul. Just pretend you never bumped into me.” She leans in close, like we’re conspiring. “Can you just give me a little nibble of the details though? Where did you two meet? One of those dating sites? MySpace?”

“MySpace isn’t a thing anymore, Aunt B.”

“Oh. Bumble App?”

Dexter shakes his head. “How do you know about—you know what? Forget I asked.”

His composed exterior fading, I put my hand on his forearm to calm him, and he glances down at it before looking into my eyes.

“It’s fine,” I intone to him quietly. To Bethany I say, “Aunt B, while we’re not a couple, Dexter and I did meet last weekend when we were both out with friends.”

“I was out with Elliot’s friends.” He supplies reluctantly. “Elliot is a cousin.”

Aunt Bethany scrunches up her face. “Elliot? Is he single again? I thought he was dating Kara.”

“Nope. Single.”

“Good. Kara can do better.”

Dexter chuckles, a smile finally tipping his lips. “Yeah, that’s probably true.”

“Well,” Aunt B sighs. “Like I said, I better run.” She gives me a once over, eyes shining. “Hold on tight to this one, young lady. He’s a keeper.”





Daphne: You’re never going to believe who I ran into at the movie last night.

Tabitha: Hold up. First tell me who you went to the movies with, and what did you see?

Daphne: StarGate. And I went alone, but that’s not my point.

Tabitha: You went to another movie alone? I told you to call if you did that! I would have met you there. No man left behind and all that.