Thicker Than Blood (Thicker Than Blood #1)(125)

“You had legs then, and I was between them when I said it.” Grabbing the drink the bartender brought me, I quickly swallowed it and slammed the glass down on the table. “Now you’re just *. Nothing more.”

Pushing out of my chair, I stalked across the room, grabbing the neck of a tall brunette who’d been hanging off the arm of another man. I’d f*cked her before, too many times to count, but I still didn’t know her name, and didn’t care to ever learn it.

Dragging her up the stairs, I pushed her into the first unlocked door I found, tossed her on the bed, and started undressing. I needed to f*ck. I needed to f*ck hard and fast, and then I needed to beat the shit out of someone, anyone…so much so I found myself hoping like hell Liv would let me back into the ring. Maybe if I promised to throw a couple of fights…

The f*ck did nothing for me. None of these whores did a damn thing for me. The sex was empty and hollow, just the mindless slapping of my body against her used-up one. More than likely she’d f*cked twenty guys already this morning, and another fifty would be coming by for more when I was through with her.

Worse, I was still thinking about the wildcat, those sweet red curls, her big blue eyes full of fire, and that tight little body of hers. Even better, how she’d fought me every step of the way, challenged me like no woman had done in far too long. Made me want something I’d thought I was no longer capable of. Made me want something that was no longer possible.

It was good she was gone. I couldn’t afford any sort of weakness in this world. Not a single drop. You let that shit spill out of you, and people noticed. And when people noticed, they took advantage.

“Two rats,” I yelled as I left the room. Because that was all she was worth to me—two slabs of dead rodent.

As I passed by the bar, buttoning my jeans, Dori was still there, a fresh drink in her hand. Sitting down opposite her, I took her drink and swallowed it down in one wincing gulp.

“You don’t mention her ever again, got it?” Glaring at her, I handed her the empty glass.

Nodding, she took the glass and dropped her gaze. “I’m sorry, E.”

Another unwanted sliver of guilt snaked its way through me, making my chest uncomfortably tight before coiling uneasily in the pit of my stomach. But instead of apologizing to her like I knew I should have, I got to my feet and muttered, “Know your f*cking place, woman.”

Exiting the Cave, I found the sun still shining brightly, mocking me from its place up high in the sky where no one could touch it. Because if I could touch it, if I could reach it, I’d beat the holy shit out of it, make sure it never dared to shine again. There was no place for sunlight here. Sunlight was for the living. And no one was living anymore. Speaking of which…

Cracking my knuckles, I surveyed the people passing by me. I needed to beat someone senseless, wrap my hands around their throat and watch as the life began to leave their eyes. I needed to not just feel my strength, but use it. It was all I had left, the only thing that could mirror what actually living had felt like, the only thing that reminded me I was still alive.

My wife had made me feel alive. My kids too. My old job, stripping and rebuilding old cars back to their previous glory, had given me a sense of satisfaction once upon a time. Even Wildcat, she’d given me a tiny slice of something familiar, something I’d been hoping would grow into more.

Two men passing by paused in front of me, a mangy-looking and downright filthy brunette in their grasp. She hung limply between them, her wide gray eyes looking feral as they darted back and forth, taking in her surroundings.

“Found her scavenging out by the turbines,” one of the men said, grinning. “The little bitch was eating bugs right off the ground like a damn animal.”

“Where do you want her?” the other asked, looking more than ready to get rid of her.

“Ask Jeffers,” I said callously. “I don’t deal with this shit anymore.”

The man slowly shook his head. “Jeffers said otherwise, man. He said all new recruits are coming straight to you. Said it’s time you got to keeping yourself busy.”

Closing my eyes, I gritted my teeth. Liv, that f*cking bitch, wasn’t going to let me fight; she was putting me to work like one of her damn minions.

Opening my eyes, I glanced down at the woman, taking in the tattered remains of her clothing, the caked-on dirt covering nearly every inch of her. Her eyes met mine, and though she was obviously dazed from one too many punches to her face, her bloodied nostrils flared as she tried to snarl.

Bending my knees, I dropped down to her level, leaning in close enough to get a hearty whiff of body odor and shit, probably her own. Smart woman…the worse you smelled, the less the rotters noticed you.

“Welcome to Purgatory,” I said coldly. “Last stop on the road to hell.”

She didn’t respond, but neither did she snarl again. She just stared at me, those big wild gray eyes of hers shrewdly assessing me much the way a predator did its prey.

Baring my teeth, I grinned at her. She wasn’t going to last here; her type never did. She was too accustomed to the wild, having gone too long without human contact. There was no domesticating those who had given in to the dormant beasts that hide inside us all.

The fence that surrounded us and its gates were the equivalent of a cage, and she’d be climbing and clawing her way out the first chance she got. I would know; I sensed that beast inside me every damn day, constantly trying to rip its way free. Suppression only succeeded in making it worse, the animal within pacing manically back and forth in its small confines.