The You I've Never Known(10)


while I’m looking it occurs to me

that I wouldn’t trade my Freak

Club friends for membership

in the Popular Pack, even without

a required BJ initiation. Monica’s

queer, Syrah swears she’s not, but

she doesn’t judge or question or get all fake about liking Monica anyway.

And neither has insisted I declare

myself gay, straight, or just confused.





I’m Confused


About a lot of things,

including the coffee—

making process, but

I am totally clear on

how to make a killer

omelet for three, and

that’s what I’m working

on when Dad and Zelda

materialize, scarlet-eyed and crazy-haired. They

must have gotten past

bickering long enough

to engage in (yeesh!)

creepy old-people sex.

I don’t care what that

involves, don’t want to

consider the visuals.

The vague smell of

rutting is more than

enough to stimulate

a gigantic yuck factor.

Morning, girls, says Dad.

Smelled the coffee and thought we’d come help ourselves. That okay?

When we agree that it

is, he comes over and

nudges me. When did you start drinking coffee, anyway?

I could say I didn’t really, that this pot was mostly meant for my friends.

Instead, I tell him, “This seemed like as good a day as any. Seventeen and

still a coffee virgin? I’d never live that down.”

Seventeen? When did that happen? He grins like a total goober. Oh. That’s right. Today’s your birthday, isn’t it? Well, happy, happy, Ari Fairy.

“Dad!” Inevitable laughter spills from the mouths

of my so-called friends.

Nothing to do but laugh

along with them. “God, Dad, I’m not, like, four anymore.”

Too bad, too. You were such an adorable little girl. He watches Zelda pour coffee and put two spoons of sugar in each mug. What the hell do you think you’re doing?!





All Laughter


And pleasant conversation

brake to a complete standstill.

Zelda freezes. What do you

mean? What did I do now?

You put all that goddamn sugar

in my coffee. What the fuck for?

Zelda’s jaw drops. But Mark,

you always put sugar in your coffee.

Only in the sludge they serve

in town. I told you before . . .

Her head is twisting side to side.

Are you saying no milk, either?

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

I don’t know why you’re acting like this is some big surprise.

It’s not like we haven’t had coffee at home before. Brew Folgers right, no need to make it fucking sweet.

“Here, I’ll take the one with sugar,”

I offer, mostly to make them shut up.





What a Strange Exchange


It’s unsettling, and I really wish they’d stop. Monica and Syrah

are trying not to participate as

spectators, but that’s pretty hard.

“Eggs are done. You guys want

to eat outside?” I don’t wait for them to answer because I know

they must be as uncomfortable

as I am. I divide the omelet into three portions, put them on paper plates, and hand them out. “Don’t forget your coffee.” I grab my own syrupy cup, and we head off for

our alfresco dining experience.

We’ve barely cleared the door

when Monica says, What was that all about? How long have they been together? Like, six months?

You’d think she’d know how your dad likes his coffee by now, right?

I settle into a chair, take a bite before I answer. “No one said

she’s the brightest bulb, but yeah, seems like she ought to by now.”

Well, I’m not positive, but it looked like your dad wanted to pick a fight, says Syrah. Is he always so argumentative?

And what about that Ari Fairy thing?

My face ignites. “He hasn’t called me that since I was really little.

He just wanted to embarrass me.

And yes, he enjoys a good argument.”

Saying it out loud makes me realize just how true the statement is.

Sometimes he insists things are

honest-to-God facts, when I know they’re not. It’s like a big game for him. Regular entertainment.

The point is to make his opponent question her beliefs. Maybe even her sanity. I use the feminine

pronoun because it’s almost

always a female he coerces

into playing. That includes me.

I take a sip of coffee, now cooled to lukewarm. “Hey. This isn’t bad. I don’t get what Dad was griping

about.” Actually, now I consider it, I think Zelda was right. I remember sneaking a sip of his coffee a couple of times. It was always sweet.

And milky. It reminded me of hot cocoa, only made with coffee ice

cream. Has he really changed

the way he drinks his Folgers?

Never mind. I already know

the answer. But why mess with

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