The Vargas Cartel Trilogy (Vargas Cartel #1-3)(110)

She swallowed. “Yeah, but I don’t want you to think I’m mad at you, because I’m not.”

“I know. I get it. I know this trip is uncomfortable, but it means a lot to me that you came.”

“Thanks for understanding.” She squeezed my hand. “Call me and tell me what’s going on.”

“I will.”

***

I sat in a chair next to my dad’s hospital bed. The smell of medicine and antiseptic filled my lungs. He looked smaller and older than I remembered. His skin was ashen, and his cheeks were sunken. He had a black eye and scratches on the side of his face.

According to Emanuel, the doctors successfully removed the ventilator earlier this morning, but he still had a chest tube to help his lungs function and remove any residual fluids from his chest cavity.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“About as good as I look,” Ignacio croaked.

“So you feel like shit?”

His lips twitched. “Exactamente.” He closed his bloodshot, filmy eyes. “Where’s Rever?”

“I don’t know. He said he’d be here.”

“Hm,” he muttered without opening his eyes.

I reached out and grasped his hand. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”

“That remains to be seen.”

“You’re not out of the woods, but you’re breathing on your own. That’s a good sign.”

He opened his eyes. “I heard you brought Hattie with you. Is she in the waiting room, or did you leave her at the hotel?”

I dropped his hand and rested my elbows on my knees. “She’s at the hotel.”

“I figured as much. I can’t imagine she wants to see me.” He lifted his arm and winced.

“She’s busy writing her thesis,” I said, ignoring his comment. Hattie didn’t want to see him, and I couldn’t blame her.

“How are things with her?”

“It’s a mess. Senator Deveron linked my two identities and not a day goes by without another threat.” After the confrontation in the alley with his goons, Senator Deveron hadn’t backed down. In fact, his threats had escalated. Some of the shit he said about Hattie and my family turned my stomach. I wanted to meet him in a dark alley and beat the shit out of him.

“Are you worried?”

I rubbed my jaw, carefully considering my answer. “I have enough dirt on him to make him think twice about acting on any of his threats, but…”

“But what?” he prompted.

“I’m worried about your arrangement with him.”

“Don’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t worry about me. Do what you need to do. You and Rever are good at that.”

I nodded as I studied his face. “Do you know he made threats against the Vargas Cartel and you? He said he’d back the Alvarez Cartel.”

Ignacio breathed hard through his nose as his ebony eyes collided with mine. “Have you changed your mind about taking your place with the Vargas Cartel?”

“No.”

“Great, then why the f*ck do you care?”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t care?”

Ignacio groaned. “Why are you here?”

“I’m here because you’re my father and I care about you. Isn’t that a good enough reason?”

“No. I have nurses to sit at my bedside and change my bedpan. I need help with the family business. I need someone to watch over my interests while I’m in here.”

“I can’t do that. I don’t want any part of that life.”

“Obviously, I can’t count on either of my sons.” He shook his head. “Just go. I don’t want you here right now.”

I pushed out of my chair. “So it’s all or nothing? What happened to your speeches about doing what I needed to do?”

His lips twisted, and the angles of his face stood out in sharp relief like they were carved from the cruelty and violence he doled out without a trace of conscience. “I changed my mind. I don’t have the luxury of having people in my life with divided loyalties. If my sons don’t respect me, nobody will. I’m tired of this game. I’m tired of waiting for you to realize your place. You don’t respect me. You aren’t loyal.”

My hands balled into fists. My fingers itched to grab him by the collar of his hospital gown and shake him. I’d given up so much and done so many regrettable things, but it’d never be enough for him. Every time he needed help, I was there. It was pointless to keep living like this, never belonging anywhere or with anyone. Fuck him and his cartel. “I think it’s time for me to leave.”

“I think you’re right,” he said, his eyes deadly calm. “Don’t contact me until you’re ready to assume your legacy.”

My nostrils flared as poisonous words dangled from the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t say any of them. Instead, I walked out of the room and out of his life without looking back, removing myself from my father’s venomous glare and toxic life. My muscles tensed with regret, my head throbbed with the realization of how much time I wasted on my father, but my mind was clearer than it’d been in years. He liberated me from guilt and family pressure. I wished he’d done it earlier. I wasted too much of my life trying to please him.