The Valiant (The Valiant #1)(64)

I frowned.

“In your case, money makes you a part of it,” he explained with a grin. “The favor of Caesar makes you a bigger part of it. The ability to one day rid yourself of that collar and all it stands for makes you a force to be reckoned with. Think about that, Fallon. Be an idealist, by all means, but be a pragmatic one.”

“You think I should fight for Caesar?”

“I think you should fight for yourself,” he said. “But those things needn’t be exclusive. Temper passion with control, conviction with cunning. Win, Fallon, the way I didn’t.”

His fingers fumbled as he reached for the wine jug, almost spilling it. I took it from him and poured another measure into his cup. He nodded his thanks and drank deeply.

“In the arena,” he continued, “it won’t be enough just to fight your best. It’s never enough to simply win the battle. What you have to win is their hearts. Caesar’s heart. Charm them, beguile them, seduce the mob. That will make him fall in love with you. Because unless Caesar loves you, you cannot truly claim Victory.”

I heard the sound of someone discreetly clearing her throat, and I looked up to see that Sorcha had returned. She nodded toward the door. Arviragus grunted, tossing the rest of the wine down his throat in one gulp, and waved for me to go with her. My heart hurt at the thought of never seeing him alive again. As I turned to leave, he called out to me one last time.

“Be brave, gladiatrix,” he said. “And be wary. Bright things beget treachery. Beautiful things breed envy. Once you win Caesar’s love, you’ll earn his enemies’ hate.”

“The Morrigan keep you, Arviragus,” I said.

He laughed at that. “She won’t have much choice, soon.”

? ? ?

As Kronos drove me and Sorcha back to the Ludus Achillea, I watched the six new chariot horses trotting behind us down the road, tethered on a line. They seemed to me to be creatures that embodied the perfect balance between spirited and obedient. Passion and control, like Arviragus had said.

I turned to Sorcha. “Why did you take me to see him?”

“To show you why I did what I did,” she said. “To help you understand why I came here to Rome and fought for Caesar and never went home again.”

“You did it because of Arviragus?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I did it because of Father. And you.”

“I don’t understand—”

“I wasn’t captured, Fallon!” Sorcha exclaimed.

Of course she was captured. My sister wouldn’t have surrendered. Ever.

She sighed.

“When I left Durovernum for the last time,” she continued, “I knew I wouldn’t ever go back. I had Olun cast the auguries for my fortune, and they told me so, unequivocally. I thought it was because I would die in battle, but that wasn’t it. There was a battle, to be sure. It began that evening and carried on into the night, and Caesar saw me fighting in the field. He discovered who I was and understood why I was there: to free Father.”

“I always thought I would one day die on a battlefield because Olun told me that I would share the same fate as you!” I said. “I thought you lost the fight, Sorcha. We all did. We thought you were dead and that Caesar only decided to release Virico after the other Prydain kings sued for peace.”

“That’s what he wanted you to believe.” A thin, crooked grin bent her mouth. “But the truth was that Caesar had already agreed to release Virico long before.”

“Why would he ever do that?” I scoffed.

“Caesar had sent a message to me secretly,” she said. “He is a brilliant commander in the field, but he’s also a shrewd opportunist in his civilian life. He already owned massive stables of gladiators and made rich sums of money off them. That night, when he saw me, a woman of the Cantii fighting on the battlefield as fiercely as any man, he saw the opportunity to birth a new phenomenon: female gladiators.”

I didn’t know why my sister ever would have agreed to such a thing.

“We made a deal, Fallon,” Sorcha said, sensing my unasked question. “My life for Virico’s. My servitude for his freedom. Virico would live—and live free—and you would grow up with our father there for you.” She nodded down the lane toward Arviragus’s prison. “You see what captivity does to the soul of a man like that. I couldn’t let that happen to Father, so I made a deal with a demon. I’d do it again.”

She lapsed into silence. For the rest of the journey back to the ludus, I thought about Arviragus and Virico and the sacrifices my sister had made—and continued to make—for me. Was it possible I had been so wrong about my own sister? I needed to find a way to make amends.

On my way to my barracks cell, I cut across the deserted practice yard of the place that had somehow become my home. As I reached the center of the sand circle, I felt a strange, dizzying sensation and heard the sound of wings beating overhead.

I looked up, and the sky was clear. Empty.

But in my mind, a throaty voice whispered, “Daughter” and “Victory.”

I felt my cheeks flush.

“Freedom.” I’d begun to worry that the Morrigan had turned her favor from me. But her voice in my head told me she was still with me, and it seemed she had a message—one that I finally understood.