The Twelve Days of Dash & Lily(13)

“It’s fine,” I promised her—but that didn’t land well, because we both knew it wasn’t particularly true. So I rephrased. “I’m sure it will be fine now that the initial shock has worn off. They’ll stay on separate sides of the room. Mrs. Basil E. will keep my dad in check. If anyone can do it, she can.”

This appeared to be the case when we returned to the living room. Boomer had arrived and was talking animatedly with Sofia and my mom. His hand was on her back (Sofia’s, not my mom’s) in that I-must-show-everyone-we’re-linked-by-taking-it-beyond-metaphor way that people in new couples have. If I’d done that to Sofia when we were courting, she probably would have swatted it away, called it condescending. But with Boomer, she seemed to like it. Or at least to not think about it. Somehow, his touch had become natural to her.

My mom noticed this. I saw her see it. I had no doubt she would have liked my stepfather to be here to back her up in the same way, instead of on some business trip.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Basil E. was tsking my father into submission. I hated that he seemed to be enjoying her company nonetheless.

I was aware of the way the room shifted to accommodate my sweater. There were looks, for sure. But as soon as the laughter came into a person’s eyes, another knowledge would counterbalance—the big contextual clue that I was standing next to Lily, and therefore this sweater must be something Lily had done. Because of that—and solely because of that—the laughter died before Lily could hear it. Nobody in the room wanted her to feel anything but right, anything but loved. Although, in fairness, I could tell from his eyes that Grandpa found the whole thing hysterical.

I don’t think Lily noticed any of this. She was considering the tree instead, adjusting a candle holder she’d hung from a middle branch. “I guess it’s time,” she said, more to herself than to me. She sought out Langston in the crowd, and the two of them exchanged a wordless go-ahead. Langston’s boyfriend Benny gave him a little squeeze, and Langston stepped forward.

“Can I have everyone’s attention?” he yelled. All the animals in the manger fell quiet. There had to be at least twenty people in the room now—cousins and distant cousins and family friends who’d attained cousin status—a kind of middle-class knighthood. It was only the people I’d brought into Lily’s life—my parents, Boomer, Sofia—who were new to this ritual. The rest of them were family. We were guests.

Langston continued. “As you all know, we’ve had a bit of a rough year.”

“Speak for yourself!” Grandpa roared.

Langston smiled. “But we’re all here, which is the most important thing we can hope for every year. So, without further ado, I hand it off to Lily.”

I expected Lily to feel the warmth in the room, the power of having her family gathered together. But instead, she still seemed a little lost. “You didn’t have to say all that, Langston,” she began. “I mean, about the year. That’s not why we’re here.”

An awkward silence followed. Then Boomer yelled, “We’re here to light a tree on FIRE!”

This got some titters. Sofia leaned over to explain the tree-lighting concept to him.

“If everyone could get into a circle around the tree, we can get started,” Lily said. “For those of you who haven’t been a part of this before, we each get a candle, and one person lights the next person’s candle. When it gets to Gramps, he’ll light the candle on the tree, and I’ll turn on all the electric lights. Oh, and thank you to Dash and Boomer for the tree.”

“Go, Oscar!” one of the two of us cheered.

People looked around the room for Oscar. He did not take a bow.

I looked over at my mom, who had summoned up her best fake smile.

I looked over at my dad, who looked mildly embarrassed.

“Come on, people!” Langston shouted. “The lady wants a circle, so let’s give her a circle.”

People made a very loose ring around the tree. In the shuffle, I ended up between Sofia and my mother. Boomer took his place on my mother’s other side. Then, in order to dodge a particularly garrulous cousin, my father stepped next to Boomer. Lily handed out red, green, and white candles. Then she went to turn off the lights and cue up “White Christmas” on the sound system. As Bing did his thing, Lily lit her candle, then touched it to her mother’s until the flame held. Then her mother did the same with Lily’s father. The circle began. Nobody said a word. We just traced the progress of the light, awaited our turn. Grandpa took about a minute longer than he should have to get out of his chair to take his place, but when it was his turn, his hand was steady as he passed his fire to Langston. Langston went wick-to-wick with Benny, who then pirouetted to face Sofia. Sofia smiled and cupped the flame as she turned to pass it to me.

Boomer, who had never really had a girlfriend before, clearly felt it was his boyfriendly obligation to be the recipient of Sofia’s flame. He jumped from his place and stepped in between me and Sofia. Sofia, not wanting to disrupt anything, dutifully touched her candle to his. I watched, then held steady as Boomer did a little dance over to me, cooing at the flame to stay alive long enough to make my acquaintance. Boomer lit my candle, then I turned and faced my stricken mother. Boomer’s jump had put her right next to my father. And it was too late for any of us to fix it without making it a big deal.