The Strength of the Pack (Suncoast Society #30)(30)

Returning inside, she locked the door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, processing.

She wasn’t rushing things, was she? Everyone trusted Nate. He hadn’t pressured her for sex or play. Hadn’t brought up either topic, outside of their conversations about it.

Her counselor was encouraging her to step out a little more and take healthy chances to move on.

Leo and Jesse were wholeheartedly in agreement with her seeing Nate. So was Tilly.

Maybe it’s time I stop second-guessing myself and trust the people I’ve put my trust in not to steer me wrong. They aren’t my father.

And if all of them were wrong, that meant Nate was some sort of sociopath or something and it wouldn’t be her fault if she’d gotten sucked in, too.

Something told her that wasn’t the case, though.

She unplugged the Christmas tree and turned off the TV and lights in the living room. The outside lights were on timers and would go off soon.

As she headed for bed, she decided.

Some risks were worth taking. With the strength of her pack behind her, even if things with Nate did go badly, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Leo and Jesse would always be there for her, helping her put her life back together to try again. She’d keep getting up every time life knocked her down.

Hell, she should be good at it after what she’d survived as a kid.

She headed for bed. Wednesday couldn’t come too fast for her liking.





Chapter Twelve


After leaving Eva’s Christmas night, Nate went home, went for a run, and then rubbed one out in the shower before collapsing into bed.

Self-control usually wasn't an issue he had, but he was seriously considering texting her to ask if she wanted to come over that night and play.

I can wait. Suck it up.

Wednesday night, once the two of them were alone in the living room, Nate pulled Eva down onto her couch and into his lap.

“I believe we were going to have a talk, were we not?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Okay, so the sound of her saying that—hell, even getting it in a text message from her—hardened his cock.

They’d already had conversations about STDs and blood tests. He routinely got tested for a full range of things simply because of what he did for a living. Yes, it was rare he got stuck, and the chances of him actually catching anything were slim to none, but he didn’t want to take the risk.

He’d been pleased when Eva had admitted that Leo and Jesse had her get testing early in December, just in case.

“What does me being your Dominant mean to you?” he asked.

She thought about it. “That I have limits, but I trust you’ll respect them. That when we’re together, you’ll keep me safe. That I can trust you not just physically, but emotionally.”

And here lay the crux of what he was concerned with. “We’ve only been going out for a couple of weeks, so it’s too soon to discuss ‘the future,’” he said using air quotes. “There’s something big you haven’t told me yet, isn’t there?”

That her gaze dropped to her hands affirmed it, even if she hadn’t answered. “Yes, Sir.”

“That’s all right, but I think it’s something that, until you do feel you can talk about it with me, we’re not going to progress past a certain point together. Does that make sense?”

She met his gaze and nodded. “Yes, Sir.”

“Are there any circumstances where you think you’d feel okay discussing it with me?”

She took a deep breath and let it out again before answering. “Yes, Sir.” She twisted her hands together. “It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t trust myself yet. I know that the more time we spend together the easier it’s going to be for me to talk about that.”

He traced one of the marks on her upper arm, where it disappeared under the short sleeve of her T-shirt. “Does it relate to these?”

She nodded.

“Do you still do that?”

“No, Sir,” she whispered. “It’s been a long time. Since I was a kid.”

“Rule number one is if you ever feel the need to do that again, you must talk to me immediately. I don’t care if I’m with a client. You will not do that to yourself again. You hand that over to me if you feel the need to do that. Understand?”

“Yes, Sir.”

It was a relief to hear her say it’d been years, but he suspected her emotional pain still lay close to the surface.

“Rule number two is when we’re alone like this, you call me Sir.”

She smiled. “Yes, Sir.”

“Rule three. I propose we hold off on sex for now, like we discussed, but orgasm play is okay, as long as both of us are okay with it.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Are there any things you specifically don’t want to do sexually, excluding intercourse? Either me do to you, or you do to me?”

He watched her face carefully. “I’m not,” she finally answered, “comfortable with giving oral.”

“Then that won’t be something you’ll do,” he said.

She looked a little surprised. “But that’s not fair to you.”

“This isn’t about what’s fair or unfair. This is about building boundaries and trust. This is the foundation of anything else we’ll do from this point on. If you can’t learn to trust me and what I say, we don’t have a future.”