The Steele Wolf (Iron Butterfly #2)(48)

I couldn’t breathe; this is what every girl wanted, right? To be engaged to the most sought after and handsome boy in Calandry. I really liked Joss and had deep feelings for him, and I could see a possible future but there were so many unanswered questions and I was overwhelmed with all of the pretending and lies. “No one will believe us.” I desperately tried to get Joss to understand. “We are too young.”

“No, we’re not. You were about to give yourself away and marry the winner of a Kragh Aru a few weeks ago. That is what gave me the perfect idea for this plan. So you can blame yourself.” Joss came over to me and looked deeply into my worried eyes. “Thalia, what’s wrong? I thought you would be happy. Remember it’s just for show; we are doing this for my sister.”

“It’s just that a lot is happening really fast and I’m feeling overwhelmed.” I reached up to touch the aquamarine stone that felt like a manacle around my neck. “What if all of the stress of pretending ruins our friendship?”

Joss reached for my hands and clasped them gently. “What if it doesn’t? What if it brings us closer together? Will you do it for my sister? Will you pretend?”

The lump in my throat just got larger and my eyes drifted for an instant to Kael and I instantly wished I hadn’t. Kael was stiff as a board, face frozen, devoid of emotion. All I could do was nod to Joss and I watched as Kael turned his back on me and walked back inside. Joss ignored Kael and turned my face up to his and gave me a quick kiss. “You won’t regret this.”

Joss took my hand and led me back into the room and nodded to his father.

Nero stood up and made an imposing figure and he cleared his throat to make an announcement. “Friends, we’ve all been saddened by the choices my daughter Tenya has made and we wish for her to come home soon. But at last, we do have good news. My son Joss has chosen his future wife, Thalia.” Loud clapping could be heard and whistles from Darren Hamden, Xiven and a few others. Kael stared at the floor, refusing to acknowledge the announcement. Hemi looked up at me in surprise and I tried to make eye contact and nod to him that we would speak later. Mona was also one of the ones not clapping, she looked hurt and confused. Probably because not even an hour ago I told her I had no desire to get married. I squeezed my eyes closed and tried hard to take a deep breath. When I opened them again I felt that maybe just maybe I could continue with this farce, but I was going to need extra strength. The roar of congratulations, handshakes, laughter and introductions, continued throughout the evening and when I finally had a chance to escape I took it and retired to my room.

I couldn’t believe everything that had happened in one day. It was a complete disaster and I was a nervous wreck. In my soul I felt as if I was crumbling, falling apart. I opened my sight and tried to see what a real Denai would see. Nothing. I was taught at the Citadel that Denai could use their sight to see all of the energies in the world in brilliant colors and they could tap into them, control them and use them.

When I tried to use it, I never saw brilliant colors of gold or blues like Joss and others did. All I ever saw was faint greys and blacks that would sometimes surround people like Kael, very depressing and somber. It was as if my sight was broken. The worst realization I had was when I could see a bright white actually pulsing in rhythm and coming from the center of each Denai. It was their life essence I was seeing and I could actually steal it and use it for my own power. The thought of ever doing that to someone on purpose actually made me sick to my stomach. But I turned my sight inward to see if I could see any of the white glow that I saw in other Denai in me. There was nothing, just a faint pulsing blackness, which had started showing up when my nightmares began. Every night the blackness became darker and more substantial; and every night I would pray, to try and bind the darkness.

Curling up in my bed, I wrapped my arms around my knees and tried to sleep. I couldn’t contact Faraway because of the mists and the distance and once again I felt truly alone and scared. I grabbed a pillow and tried to snuggle my body around it but it didn’t work; I was too scared to sleep because of the nightmares so I lay awake in bed until the sun came up.





Chapter 21



Someone was pounding on my door. I could hear whispered voices in the hall and then rattling at my lock. At first I couldn’t understand what the commotion was all about until I realized that I had locked the door last night.

I had finally fallen asleep and wished I hadn’t, for what little sleep I had was once again plagued by nightmares of being tortured and abused. I rubbed my eyes to feel that they were crusty from the salt of my tears. I must have been crying. The pounding on the door became louder and I could hear Joss’ voice calling my name along with a softer feminine voice that must have belonged to Mona.

“I’m fine,” I tried to croak out, but my voice didn’t work. Clearing my throat, I tried a second time. “Joss, I’m awake, and I’m fine. So you can quit with the pounding.”

“Thalia are you sure, you weren’t answering,” His concerned voice reached me through the door.

“I’m sorry, I was just more tired than I had thought.”

“Well you’ve missed breakfast. Do you want something sent up? Also, I want to introduce you to my mother this afternoon.”

At his announcement I flopped back in bed and dragged a pillow over my head in despair at the reminder of what we were trying to accomplish with our lie. When I didn’t respond right away Joss pounded on the door again.