The Steele Wolf (Iron Butterfly #2)(27)

“Yes, Cousin, we do many things, good and bad, to try and please our fathers.” With her free hand she unconsciously touched her bruised cheek. “Thalia, you must understand... the need to make your father proud.”

“Unfortunately I do, Siobhan. So will you forgive me for how I treated you in the past?” We had finally quit walking and were at the edge of the village under a copse of trees.

“I...I can't.” She pulled her arm from around my shoulders. “I can't accept your forgiveness, knowing that in return you won't forgive me.” Two large figures stepped out of the shadows of the trees and came towards me. I tried to balance on one leg as my support walked farther away from me and turned back.

“I'm so sorry, Thalia. I had to. He made me.”

The he in question stepped forward out of the woods.

It was my Uncle Rayneld. The similarities in the looks between my father and his brother once again made me freeze in confusion. But I couldn't mistake the undertone of hidden contempt in Rayneld’s voice.

“Well, hello niece.”

“Hello, Uncle.”

“I’m so glad that you are safe.” I stared at Uncle Rayneld and had a moment of déjà vu. I looked around the dark forest in confusion.

“I’m surprised, really, that you don’t remember. I thought for sure when you showed up again that you would have called for my execution. I was surprised when you didn’t,” he said, taking another step forward. He paused and cocked his head as if to study me. “Well, I guess that works to my advantage.”

“Enlighten me. What exactly should I remember?” I asked. I couldn't ignore the hidden meaning and aggressive body language of my uncle. But, at the same time, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was family, after all.

“They said it would work and obviously it did. I never would have expected the effects to last this long. Otherwise I would have waited a bit longer. But Siobhan says you’re starting to remember things.” He stopped walking towards me and turned to the side, walking slighting away from me.

I hobbled on one foot and tried to keep him in view as he talked. “What are you talking about?”

“You have to understand niece; it was just a simple error in birth order. I should have been born first, not second, and rightly be the clan leader, not your father. I can uphold the laws just as well as Bearen. I'm even a more ruthless fighter than he is and I would never have married your outcast of a mother.” He spat out those last words and his eyes lit up with revulsion.

“She may have fooled your father, but I refuse to take that chance. Her bloodline must end. And I can never allow you to rule as the clan leader; I won't allow you to infect the clan.”

Turning on me in anger, he pointed one large ugly finger at me. “No more lies.” His upper lip curled and showed his teeth in a feral gleam. “Is it true?”

Looking at him square in the eye I raised my shoulder and chin and firmly stated, “Yes.”

“How much of it?” he declared angrily.

“All of it.” I wasn't about to back down from him. He didn’t need to know that I wasn’t really a Denai; the alternative, I thought, would be worse if he knew I was something else entirely.

I saw his shoulders bunch up and fingers curl as the look he gave me was filled with hate. “I knew it,” he smiled cruelly. “I was right to drown the mother. I only wish I would have drowned the pup with her.”

“What?” The news staggered me and I fell to my knees and grasped the dirt as images and memories flooded my mind.

Memories of a loving beautiful woman with long gold tresses, holding me in the air, laughing and spinning in circles. Pictures of us rolling and playing in the grassy meadow and swimming in the lake. I remember sitting on a blanket playing with a toy while my mother sat at the edge of the lake with her feet dangling in the water. My father called to her and she rose and walked out of sight while motioning me to stay where I was. I remember waiting patiently for her to come back, but she didn't.

Hours later, Odin came to find me still playing on the same blanket and he asked where Thelonia was. I pointed to the water and told him she was swimming. Sure enough, he looked and saw her golden tresses floating in the water.

My mind blanked and then skipped ahead a few years, to Bvork teasing me, throwing dung at me and calling me a pig among many other names. There were rumors about my mother, and where she had come from. Some said she was a Goddess, others a ghost, because she appeared out of the morning mist, walking cold and barefoot out of the mountain pass. No one knew who she was and she refused to speak of her past. My father found her, fell in love with her and married her, refusing to believe the things the people said about her.

They were secretly relieved when she died and I remember my father telling me that I was teased because of her. He told me that I would have to be strong and prove that I was different.

It was then that I became the strong, uncaring Thalia. I had to prove myself to everyone and close off any emotion. I became the strongest advocate against Denai and impure bloodlines, even though deep down there was always the fear that I would always be different, mistreated like my mother.

The memories, one by one, flew back as if I was reliving my life from childhood to adulthood in slow motion. I felt myself gag, as I was overwhelmed with the knowledge of how much self-loathing I had for Denai and myself. The hatred was strong and deep. My eyes couldn't focus and I grabbed my head and waited for it all to stop.