The Space Between Us(29)
“Wipe the grin off your face Charlie; it's making me gag.”
“Come on, that's totally sweet,” I said as I motioned towards him with my hands.
“Barf,” she responded. I knew she was kidding. She loved Asher almost just as much as I did. And even though she wouldn't admit it, his devotion to me, at the moment, was benefiting her just as much as it was me.
Once we finally made it to the reserved parking spot, Reeve expertly slid her SUV into the space, executing a perfect parallel parking job. I swung my door open and was met by Asher and his heart-stopping grin.
“Hey, Bit,” he said. I beamed at his nickname for me. He came up to me and I wrapped my arms around his neck as his hands slid around my waist. “Like your personal parking spot?”
“Hmmm. How did you manage to pull it off? Why didn't anyone from the university make you leave?”
“I can be persuasive when I need to be,” he said, smiling even bigger. I knew then that whoever had tried to get him to leave was female and he'd been able to charm them into looking past his irritatingly cute behavior.
“Lucky me,” I said and tipped up to kiss his lips. He came down to me, because even if I stood on the very tip of my toes I would never be able to reach his mouth, the height difference between us was at least a foot. I thought back to a day when we were the same height, fond memories of our childhood. Memories that were brushed away by the sweetness of his kiss.
When he pulled away, he pointed towards a table set up with official people sitting behind it.
“You get your keys at that table over there. I will grab your bags.”
Reeve and I headed towards the table and stood in line with other students who were flanked by their parents. Did I rob my dad of some rite of passage by coming alone? I felt a twinge of guilt looking at all the parents helping their children get their keys. I also saw the tears forming in their mother's eyes, and their dads patting their sons on the back, trying to avoid an over-emotional goodbye. I asked my dad not to come, in part, because I didn't want a sad goodbye. But I also didn't want him here to witness all the men who still had their wives. Times like these only served as reminders that my mother was no longer alive. He didn't need that - not today.
“Perfect!” Reeve exclaimed as we made our way to the dorm room we’d been assigned. “Our room is right next to the bathroom!”
“Ugh,” I remarked. “Our room is right next to the bathroom.”
“What's wrong with that? It's great. We won't have to walk down a long hall dripping wet and hiding in a towel. We can just run into our room.” As if he had been summoned by her words, a guy came out of the bathroom wearing only a towel with beaded water still hanging on his chest. He gave us a brief look and then threw a wink our way.
“Uh, why is there a half-naked guy on your floor?” I shrugged my shoulders at Asher as he moved past me to put my bags on my bed.
“I'm sure he lives on this floor. He went into one of those rooms down there,” I said as I motioned down the hallway. I saw his shoulders stiffen and watched as he slowly turned towards me.
“This is a co-ed floor?” I shrugged again, not wanting to say anything that would make him upset. “No shrugging, Bit. Words.”
“I thought I mentioned the dorm was co-ed.”
“Right. You said the dorm was co-ed, not the floor.” He ran his hands through his dark hair. He took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. I saw some of the tension leave his body, but he was still wound tightly. I crossed the room to him and noticed Reeve slipping out of the room to give us a moment.
“Ash, I'm sorry. I guess I didn't think to distinguish between the two. I wasn't trying to keep anything from you.” I stood right next to him and I put my hand out to touch his arm. At our contact he turned towards me and I felt his hands come up to cradle my face.
“Why will you let total strangers live with you, but not me?”
My breath came out quickly, letting on that I was annoyed by his question. It was a discussion we'd had all summer long. Asher desperately wanted to share a dorm room, to live together our freshman year of college. I desperately wanted to have a normal college experience and share a dorm room with my best friend. Somehow, for some reason, he took this as rejection and it made him upset. Every time he brought it up, we argued. He eventually dropped the subject, but I always felt it was more because he was tired of talking about it rather than him being secure in our separation.
“You've got to stop this. Just because I don't want to live with you doesn't mean I don't love you or want to be with you.” He looked into my eyes like I hid the secret meaning of life in them. He searched for something. I wasn't sure I had the answer he was looking for. “What can I do to make you understand that I need this year? I need to live with my best friend. I need to have this experience. We're only going to be college freshmen once, Ash. We have this one chance. Don't ruin it by being jealous. You've got no reason to be. Tell me, what can I do?” He exhaled loudly again and rested his forehead against mine.
“Promise me you won't walk down the hall in a towel?” I could hear the smile in his voice.
“Will you buy me a bathrobe?” I asked, only half joking.
“I'll buy you a damn muumuu,” he said, a full laugh escaping his lips. I relaxed, knowing the argument was past us. He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I'm sorry,” he said seriously. “Everything's changing and I just don't want us to drift apart. I am afraid you'll feel like I'm holding you back. I'm trying to hold on to you because I'm afraid you'll slip away.” I looked up into his eyes wondering how he could doubt anything about our relationship.