The Solemn Bell(46)

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. “I won’t close them.”

Captain Neill pushed himself back in. God, even if she never had another man, she’d never get tired of his body meeting hers. He felt good. He felt right—even though what they were doing was wrong. Angelica wasn’t sure she could hide her love from him forever. But she would do her best to keep him coming back to her.

“Yes, Brody,” she mumbled encouragements into his open mouth. “That’s good! So good!”

His breath bellowed as he pumped into her again, and again. Angelica shifted her legs up so that he could mount her deeper. Suddenly, he slipped his arm under her knee, and raised it as high as her trembling muscles would allow. She nearly shouted. Oh, God, it was almost painful!

Captain Neill moaned. He wouldn’t last long now. Angelica wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take.

“Come, Brody,” she begged. “Come!”

His voice sounded ragged. “What about you?”

She’d given up on that ages ago. “I don’t come for anybody but myself.”

“For me. You did once.”

Angelica laughed. How cruel that he would think of her pleasure at a time like this. “Just finish. We don’t have all night.”





***





He had asked her take him into her mouth—likely as penance for rushing him—but Angelica didn’t mind. Afterward, he’d carried her upstairs, and put her to bed. Now, he lay next to her in nothing but his soft, cotton pajamas.

She smiled to herself. He wasn’t going anywhere tonight.

Captain Neill must have studied her in the darkness. “Are you sure you don’t feel guilty?”

“Why should I?”

“It was disrespectful to make love to you in my parents’ library.”

She laughed. “Then perhaps we should go somewhere more private next time.”

“I hadn’t planned on doing it at all, honestly. I didn’t want our time together to be about that.”

“But I’m your mistress. What else is our time together supposed to be about?”

He huffed. “I like you for more than sex, Angelica.”

“And I like you,” she said, snuggling against his warm, bare chest. “But I like sex, too.”

There was a long pause. “Why, if you don’t get pleasure?”

“Mostly, I like how it makes me feel—strong, sensual, and…normal.” As she spoke, Captain Neill drew her close. “No one cares that I can’t see as long as I can…well, you know…”

“Just like your lover didn’t care, so long as you kept your eyes clamped shut and your legs in the air?” He sounded angry, and she didn’t know why. Surely, he wasn’t still jealous of that other man. “He was using you, Angelica. Degrading you. And you let him!”

Now it was her turn to huff and pout. “How is what he and I did any different than what we do?”

“Because he made you think that this is all you are—a whore. He made you this way.”

“No, Brody. You made me this way!”

He sat up, jerking the covers back. “Me? How?”

“You gave me the smallest taste of pleasure, and then you left me. I thought that I had done something wrong. That, in not reciprocating, I’d done something to disappoint you.” Angelica trembled all over. “When my lover came to me, I gave him pleasure. I gave him what he wanted—all he wanted—and he kept coming back.”

“So now you give me pleasure in the hopes that I, too, will keep coming back.”

She nodded as he wrapped the covers tight around her.

Captain Neill touched her cheek with his lips. “Oh, Angelica…I have wronged you. All this time, you’ve thought that, if you didn’t offer yourself up to me, I’d cast you aside? That you were worth nothing more to me than sex?” He made a pained sound in her ear. “You couldn’t be more wrong. I love you, Angelica.”

She could not have understood him correctly. Captain Neill did not love her. He thought her a low, base, immoral slut who’d given her virginity to a stranger. Men did not love women like her. They only used them.

“But…how?” she asked. “What about my betrayal?”

“I’m working very hard to move past it,” he said. “And that has nothing to do with you. That’s on me.”

Angelica shook her head in disbelief. “You don’t love me, Brody. You love what I do to you.”

“I do love that.” He laughed softly. “But I enjoy it because it is with you. That’s why I didn’t want to make this week about anything sexual. For once in your life, you should know how it feels to have a man appreciate you for you, not for…that.”

“But that isn’t who I am. I’m not innocent or chaste—not anymore. I enjoy making love with you. Surely, it’s not cheap if it’s love…”

Captain Neill took her hand. “I want you to know that when we were dancing earlier, taking you to bed was the furthest thing from my mind.” He was quiet for a long time. “What I’m trying to say is, I love you—both the sweet, brave girl who took me in and saved me, as well as the spirited, sexual woman who rocks me like no other. You are everything I could have ever dreamed of, Angelica. Far more than I ever dared hope for.”