The Silver Siren (Iron Butterfly, #3)(78)

Xiven started to bring the glass jars of Sevril’s Siren essence over to the machine and place them on a table next to me. He started to talk incessantly about what he was doing, as if trying to not make me nervous. It didn’t work.

“So I will activate the current through the machine myself after I’ve given you the injections.” He took out a syringe and filled it with the liquid blue essence of Siren. He felt along the underside of my arms and gently touched the old scars. I had to turn away and not look when I felt the first prick of the needle. The headpiece is different; it’s of my own design. It seems to help the process go faster in unlocking the seals, because it seems to mostly be a mental block. I call it my Crowning Glory…get it?”

Not the time for humor. I couldn’t help it, I let out a whimper at the first sting. Then, a foreign feeling filled my body. Then another sting, and another, as he gave me more doses of the serum. I wasn’t looking forward to the pain I knew would come.

“That was the last one,” Sevril spoke softly and I opened my eyes to see his sad but grateful ones looking at me. “Thank you,” he whispered.

The sound of the cot being pulled and scraped across the floor as it was scooted over to the machine made me curious enough to turn my head and look. Numerous needles and small tubes led from a table filled with bottles to my right arm, but half of the tubes led off of the table and just out of eyesight. I couldn’t see where they led, but I could hear Xiven moving around.

Finally his voice came out strong and clear. “Are you ready, Thalia? To save us from our past, you must become the future.”

“No,” I whimpered out, barely audible. “I don’t want to do the saving. I want to be saved.” Oh Kael, please forgive me. I prayed that I would have the strength to survive this for both Kael’s sake and my own. My mind started to flip out and flash forward and backward as Xiven started the machine. I felt a jolt of electric current shoot into the bands and into my spine. I spasmed and started to scream, and it wasn’t even that painful yet. My mind spiraled into a nightmare as I relived every session on the machine at once. The currents began to pulse through my body in a steady stream and each one made my heart flutter faster and faster, until I swore it stopped on more than one occasion. Then the next current would feel like it jumpstarted my breathing again.

My blood was on fire and a burning pain seared through my stomach. I could only open my mouth in a silent scream as I was rocked with pain through my very core. It hurt so bad I wanted to die. I wanted them all to die. I wanted every person that ever hurt me to die.

Then there was such an intense pain it was if my soul was being cracked in two…and then I was free. Truly free. I could feel the darkness, the monster that was inside of me—my fury—reach out and relish the freedom. I saw fire, death, and destruction. I knew it was the future I was envisioning, my future as the Siren part of my soul came into full power.

It was terrifying. I could see myself with dark wings flying over the army, raising my arms and destroying every one of them. Killing them, greedily draining their very lives away and still being hungry for more.

“No!” I breathed out. “Kill me. Don’t let me become that.” Sevril never let go of my hand and I could feel myself start to reach out to him, to pull at him for help. Instinctively, I reached for his life force and I heard him gasp. I recoiled in horror, releasing his hand. “I don’t want to become that. They were right. The Sirens’ fury should have been sealed away. We don’t deserve this kind of power.”

The power rushed through my veins and it was addictive. My head rolled to the side and I felt drunk and I needed more. My body began to crave more power, and I knew that if they let me go now, with the seal broken, I would destroy the world.

A throbbing started in my head, and I first ignored it, thinking it was another side effect of the machine and the crowning glory.

But it was a familiar pain and one that made my heart soar. Kael!

Kael was near. He was in the castle, floors above me. KAEL! My heart and soul cried out, and I could feel him and almost see him. He was fighting and he stopped. He turned and began to search for me.

But then I lost him as the fury and anger once again took over and my heart burned for revenge. Sevril yelped in surprise when the candle on the table next to him alit on its own. Followed by the next candle, and the next. I was trying to fight my instincts to light everything on fire, so I was staying focused.

“Okay, Xiven,” Sevril called out. “Now.”

The pulsing continued, but instead of a burning feeling, it became a cold, soothing pain. I would go hot then cold, then hot then cold. My visions went from destroying the world with fire, to bringing about a famine by a never-ending winter. My teeth started to chatter, and I swore that I could see my breath in the room.

The soothing ended. This time, the pain felt like I was being not just ripped in two but broken and shattered. Someone was going to have to pick up the pieces of my soul. I bit my tongue and tasted blood. I began to thrash against the bands and scream out my anger. I wanted to die, but then I didn’t. But I couldn’t survive what was happening to my very essence.

My head slammed against the metal brace and I flashed back to the past. But I was somehow omnipresent. I saw Raven leaning over me. In my dream state, I was able to pull back and gaze around the room from a greater distance. I saw the Raven leave the room with another taller member of the Septori. My subconscious followed them through the heavy wooden door. I don’t know how I did it. Maybe I was dead. I was able to move to easily, and right now I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. I don’t know how, but I was free to follow.