The Silent: Irin Chronicles Book Five(56)

“Leo said you have no longevity spells,” Alyah said, “which puts your life in danger.”

“I…” How did one respond to something so intensely personal? “He’s correct,” Kyra said quietly. “Kareshta have no longevity spells.”

Not that it was any of Alyah’s business. Kyra didn’t like talking about her impending death with anyone, much less someone who didn’t seem to like her. She was having a hard time not being angry with Leo for mentioning it, even though Kyra was sure he had a purpose. Just like he’d had a purpose talking to Ginny about it. Then Ginny had become angry and hadn’t spoken to Kyra again.

“You are necessary for this mission,” Alyah said. “I don’t want to insert myself into your and Leo’s… relationship. But your health is a priority if this mission is going to succeed. I hope you would find it acceptable if I sang a longevity spell for you. I can’t guarantee it will last for long, but it should give us some breathing room. A few days at least. I can always repeat it if necessary.”

So Alyah was willing to give Kyra this magic, but only because she was “necessary?”

It made Kyra feel small, like she had when she was younger and Barak called her “useful.” Her father wanted her around to strengthen Kostas, but he occasionally acknowledged Kyra’s gifts as well. The recognition made her feel less, not more. Perhaps because it was given so reluctantly.

It didn’t matter what Kyra’s feelings were. She was getting tired more quickly, which she’d initially put down to jet lag, but she’d been in Thailand for weeks. It wasn’t jet lag.

“Well?” Alyah asked. “Will you allow me to sing over you?”

Kyra nodded and opened the door to allow Alyah in the bungalow. Alyah scanned the room quickly, taking in the luxuriously appointed bed, flowers, and candles.

“They gave you the best room,” she said. “That’s nice.”

“Perhaps because they thought we were newly married.”

“Aren’t you?” Alyah said. “In a way.”

Again, Kyra found it difficult to read her. “You dislike our relationship.”

Alyah turned. “I find it confusing.”

“Why?”

“You are not equals.”

Her words stung. “No? I thought the Irin valued their women, even if they were not warriors. I may not be as accomplished as you are, but I do have some skill.”

Alyah cocked her head. “That is not why you are unequal.”

“Then how?”

“You have no magic. He is a scribe trained in the academy in Riga. He grew in a world without the tempering influence of the Irina council. He was born in blood, raised among nothing but warriors.”

“And yet he is more gentle than many who boast more,” Kyra said. “It is true I do not have the same magic he does.” She stepped closer to Alyah. “But I do have magic.”

“Not enough.”

Kyra’s temper snapped. “And how am I to learn more when that knowledge is withheld from me? Did you spring from your mother’s womb versed in the magic you wield now? Or did you learn from countless generations who came before you? I had no such luxury. The fact I am alive is a miracle. Ginny spoke of watching her sisters die. Do you Irina think you were the only ones?”

“Do you think you know the loss we suffered at the hands of your brothers?”

“Most of us are killed at birth,” Kyra said. “Those of us who live are usually abandoned to the humans, who call us crazy. We are locked up. Drug-addicted. Hunted because of these faces.” Kyra slapped her own cheek. “Do you think I like looking like this? Do you think I love the attention it brings? Do you think I like hearing the lust of the humans and the revulsion of my brothers?”

Alyah took a step back.

“We are driven mad by what we hear,” Kyra continued, walking toward Alyah. “Those Grigori you hate so much are sometimes the only thing standing between us and insanity or death. The luckiest of us end up in padded rooms. The weakest—the ones with the most magic—are preyed on by the Fallen who want to use us or by humans who see us as easy targets.”

“Magic doesn’t make us weak,” Alyah spit out. “Do you deride your own gifts?”

“What has your precious magic ever done for me but bring torment?”

Allah’s eyes went wide. “Is that why you are with Leo? To gain control over it?”

Kyra raised her hand to strike, but stopped before Alyah could react. She clenched her fist, pushing back the rage that threatened her. She took a physical step back. Then another.

“You don’t know me,” Kyra said quietly. “You don’t know me at all.”

Most assumed the rage belonged only to Kostas. Most saw Kyra’s calm demeanor and quiet life as evidence of peace or some internal fortitude. What they did not see was the well of rage she swallowed daily, just to live a normal life.

She didn’t want to feel it. She often wondered if her repression hurt Kostas by shoving her emotions into him.

Kyra took five breaths.

In. Out.

Slemaa.

In. Out.

“Domem,” she whispered. Kyra walked to the corner of the room where she had set out a pillow for meditation. She sat and closed her eyes.