The Rule Book (Rule Breakers #1)(78)

“She’s a sweetheart.” She patted my hand and gave a soft smile.

“Yes. She is.” The heat in his expression sent a shiver through me.

Mom cleared her throat and produced a very artificial yawn. “I’m very tired. If you guys don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a little bit.” She gave a quick wink in my direction and then closed her eyes.

I looked to Brogan. Did I want to talk to him alone after what had happened the other day? I did deserve an in-person apology. We walked into the hallway in silence.

“Lainey.” The whisper in his familiar voice caressed my ear, and if I hadn’t been paying attention, I’d have passed it off as my imagination.

Slowly, I turned to face Brogan. His hands were shoved in the pockets of his jeans, a sheepish expression set across the lips that played front and center in my dreams the last two nights.

“What are you really doing here?”

“I made a mistake.”

I pursed my lips and leveled a glare at him. I may have forgiven him once, but the second time wasn’t going to be as easy. He deserved to squirm. “Just one? I’m pretty sure there were several. Which one are you referring to?”

His frown deepened. “Yes. I screwed up a lot. I should have believed you when you said it wasn’t you.” He paused and added, “I really didn’t think it was, but I couldn’t get over the fact that I needed to abide by my own rules. And it hurt you.” He looked away, ashamed.

“Trust isn’t exactly your strong suit.” And because of what he’d done, I wasn’t doing so great with it myself.

“I’m working on that. I was wrong to jump to conclusions. It was a dick move, and you deserve better.” He looked around the hallway and then back at me. “I did some investigating, and you were right, it was Zelda.”

I tilted my head at him. “Glad to hear that MIT education did you some good.”

His tongue ran nervously over his top lip, and he shifted his weight side to side as he looked at me. “I talked to my dad and realized what he had offered you. I can’t believe you turned him down.”

“Really? Then you don’t know me at all,” I spat. “How could I hurt you?”

“You mean the way I hurt you?”

“Yeah.” Exactly. Because just when I’d thought we took the next step in our relationship, we took five hundred steps back.

“It was a mistake that we worked together. I should have fired you from the start.”

I gaped at him, words momentarily escaping the confines of my brain. What? “That…is not what I was expecting to hear. Did you really just come all the way down to Portland just to tell me this? If so, you can go now.” I turned away. What a jerk.

“Just hear me out,” he said.

I faced him reluctantly, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m glad I didn’t, because you have taught me so much, but it’s too distracting. I missed the compromising position Zelda put us in, where I would have caught it otherwise. I’m usually on top of the security. The first time there was a glitch with one of your accounts, I should have been more vigilant. But I wasn’t, and I don’t mean this is your fault in any way, but I was distracted by you.”

I shook my head, not understanding what he was getting at. Was he still blaming me but in a different way? “Are you expecting an apology? Because it’s not happening.”

“Absolutely not. You’ve made me feel things I never have before.” He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over my knuckles. I’d give anything to melt into his touch, but I pulled my hand away. He’d hurt me. And I would not be a doormat he could step on whenever it suited him.

“Everything about you is good for me. You make me a better man. I miss you hogging the couch. And stealing the covers at night. And the way you pretend to be annoyed by Bruce but actually love him. I love everything about you, Lainey, and can’t imagine spending another moment without you.”

These words were too little too late.

“That’s a sweet sentiment, Brogan, but actions speak louder than words. You don’t trust me. This is what broke up my parents and broke up yours. How can we build a relationship on something so broken? You’d rather stick to a set of rules than follow your heart. Every time something goes wrong you bail. It isn’t right. You’ve done it to me twice, now. I refuse to live that way, always worried that if I make the wrong move, you’re out.”

“No more bailing, I promise you. Screw the rules,” his shout echoed through the hallway and the intensity in his gaze was startling. “The difference between me and you versus our parents is that I want to work on us. I want to try to be better. And that was the worst mistake of my life. Letting you go. Please, trust me. Give me a chance.”

I shook my head. My heart tugged in my chest, but he’d been this earnest before, and the same thing had happened again. I wanted to believe him, so badly. And after meeting his father, hell, no wonder he was so screwed up. I could forgive him. With what my mom put up with, she was living proof that people can forgive. But I wasn’t sure I could trust him again.

“So what is it you want exactly?”

“You,” he said. “With me.”

“What do you mean? I can’t just move back up to Seattle without any job prospects. Obviously I’m not going back to work with you.”