The Redemption(31)

They don’t seem entirely surprised and raise a pint to me.

Out on the street, she takes a helmet off of a Honda Shadow motorcycle and hands it to me. I recognize it from when I worked as a mechanic last year for a few months. I helped rebuild one similar to this. “This is yours?” I ask.

“Sure is.”

“It’s in good condition. What year is it?”

“An ‘87. Ever ridden one before?”

She’s a feisty little thing, but I can handle her attitude. “Yeah, but I’ve never owned one.”

“You should. There’s nothing that feels more freeing than riding a motorcycle.” She tightens the strap under her chin, and adds, “There’s always a chance of death when you ride a bike. Makes you appreciate the life you have.”

Nodding, I try to relate to this girl. I tuck the drumsticks into my Martens and pull my jeans over them. We get on and she warns, “Hold on tight.”

I wrap my arms around her waist and we swerve into traffic. Holy shit! The girl’s a dare devil. Leaning forward, I ask, “So what’s the name of this soon to be big band anyway?”

She speeds up and yells into the wind, “The Resistance.”





Because of a last minute project Neil had due, Thursday turned into dinner at her place again. Rochelle apologized, but I didn’t mind. I actually liked it. I’m already attached to the boys, being around them is fun. And anytime I get to spend time with her is good.

“Whatever happened to that motorcycle you had?” I ask Rochelle as we lay on a blanket in the middle of the backyard. The sun has set, the kids are watching a cartoon, and we just finished a bottle of wine.

“I got rid of it a few years ago,” she replies. “It’s clear enough to see some stars tonight.”

I’ve learned when she changes the subject, not to push. She’s not as open as she used to be, but I understand that the harshness of life changes people. It’s changed her in ways I wish I could give back to her. I move to the new topic to keep her in the moment, here with me. “I once heard that only those who see the big picture can focus on the details.”

Looking tired, but amused, she turns to me. “What does that mean?”

Seeing the sparkle to her eyes, I give her a smile. “If we see things on a grander scale, we’re more likely to appreciate the little things that make it up.”

When I look at her, there’s a small smile on her face when she says, “Sometimes you say the most amazing things and I don’t even think you realize it.”

“If it makes you smile, my work here is done.”

With a giggle, her hand nudges mine between us. As if the thought just came to her, she comments, “You never ask for anything. Not even on your performer’s contract rider. No special requests whatsoever.”

I want to touch her, to kiss her again, and reinforce that it wasn’t a wet dream. We had sex once and the memory still haunts me. As casually as I can, I cover one finger over hers, and reply, “Nothing I want can be put on a tour rider.”

From the look in her eyes, she’s analyzing the meaning beneath my words, but she knows deep down what I really mean. Knowing we can’t quite go there yet, I add, “Anyway, the guys request enough shit for all of us on tour.”

“That’s true.” Moving closer, she uses my chest as a pillow. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and steal a peek at her boys inside. They look content with popcorn and big smiles on their faces, giggling at the kid’s movie playing. These two boys that I’ve watched grow from a distance might become my responsibility one day… and I’m not opposed to this. I see Cory in their faces. They have Rochelle’s heart and spunk.

I can give… What can I give them that matters? They have money. They have family. Any toy they could ever want for is easily bought. What role can I play in their lives that add value? How can I make their lives better by being in it?

Her voice is soft and cuts into my doubts. “If you could have anything, what would it be, Dex?”

I slip my hand down her back and rub while staring up at the sky again. “Time. I’d want time back.”

She sits up, leaning over me while looking down, her gaze soft but direct. “And what would you do if you got time back?”

“I wouldn’t waste a minute.” I sit up and kiss her, running my hand into her hair and holding her close.

“Ew! What are you doing?” Neil says with disgust in his tone.

We part like two teenagers busted by their parents. Rochelle is to her knees and then standing up in a flash. “I, uh, he was helping me look for my earring.” She tugs at her earlobe.

“It looked like kissing,” Neil adds.

“It was,” she starts again, her voice shaking. “It was kissing but like just a friendly goodnight kiss since Dex is leaving. Yeah, so—”

“Yeah, kiddo, I’m leaving.” I stand and look between the two of them. “Thanks for having me over.” Rochelle’s a mess and Neil seems a little protective of his mother in his stance. That’s my cue. When I approach, he opens the door nice and wide for me. I walk inside and he follows with Rochelle behind him. “I’m thinking you can come over this week, Neil, and we can play on my drums. I can teach you some beats, easy rhythms. What do you think about that?”