The Raven King (The Raven Boys #4)(102)

Adam could not decide if this was the worst thing that had happened to him, or if it felt that way because he had been so recently and senselessly happy that the comparison was making it so.

He was in the backseat of the BMW, his hands still bound, his eyes still covered, one ear deaf. He didn’t even feel real. He felt tired but not sleepy, worn by the effort of being unable to participate in his senses. And still the demon occasionally worked against the ribbon – how his skin sang with pain – and rolled his eyes against his will. Blue sat beside him, and the Orphan Girl on the other side of her, by his request. He didn’t know if he could escape from the ribbon, but he knew that the demon would only hurt Blue in an effort to get to Ronan or the Orphan Girl. So at least they would have a warning if it happened again.

God, God. He’d nearly killed Ronan. He would have killed him. He had only just been making out with Ronan, and his hands would have nonetheless murdered him while Adam watched.

How would he go to school? How would he do anything — His breath betrayed him, because Blue leaned against his shoulder.

“Don’t —” he warned.

She lifted her head, but then he felt her fingers in his hair instead, stroking it gently, and then touching the skin on his cheek where he had gouged himself. She didn’t say anything.

He closed his eyes behind the blindfold, listening to the slow patter of the rain on the windshield, the shoosh of the wipers. He had no idea how close they were to Cabeswater.

Why couldn’t he think of another way around the sacrifice? Gansey was only hurrying to do this because of him, because of how his bargain had turned this into an emergency. In the end, Adam was killing him anyway, just like in his vision. A backwards, sideways version of the blame, but Adam at its helm just the same. But it was undeniable that Adam was the one who’d made it an emergency.

Bad feeling hissed inside Adam, but he couldn’t tell if it was guilt or a warning from Cabeswater.

“What’s that?” Gansey’s voice came from the passenger seat. “On the road?”

Blue drew away from Adam; he heard her pull herself between the driver’s and passenger’s seats. She sounded dubious. “Is it … blood?”

“From what?” Ronan asked.

“Maybe not from anything,” Gansey said. “Is it real?”

Ronan said, “The rain’s hitting it.”

“Should we … should we drive through it?” Gansey asked. “Blue, what’s Henry’s face look like? Can you see it?”

Adam felt Blue’s body brush him as she swivelled to look in the Fisker behind them. His hands strained and twitched, endlessly hungry. The demon felt … close.

Blue said, “Give me your phone. I’m going to call Mom.”

“What’s happening?” Adam asked.

“The road is flooded,” Blue said. “It looks like blood, though. And there’s something floating in it. What is that, Gansey? Is it … petals? Blue petals?”

There was a heavy silence in the car.

“Do you ever feel like things are coming full circle?” Ronan said in a low voice. “Do you …”

He didn’t finish his sentence. The car was quiet again, unmoving – apparently he hadn’t decided whether or not to drive through the flood yet. Rain spattered. The windshield wipers clunk-sighed again.

“I guess we – Jesus,” Gansey broke off. “Jesus. Ronan?”

Terror coated his words.

“Ronan?” repeated Gansey. There was a metallic slap. Groan of a seat. Scuffling. The car shifted beneath them with the ferocity of Gansey shifting his weight. Ronan still hadn’t replied. A roar pitched low behind his words. The engine: Ronan was hitting the gas while the car was out of gear.

The sick warning in Adam had risen to an alarm.

The roar suddenly stopped; the car had been turned off.

“Oh no,” Blue said. “Oh no, the girl, too!” She moved away from Adam, fast; he heard her open the door on the other side of the car. Cool, moist air sucked into the BMW. Another door opened, another. All of them but Adam’s. Henry’s voice came from outside, deep and serious and completely devoid of humour.

“What’s happening?” Adam demanded.

“Can we —” Blue’s voice was halfway to a sob, coming from outside the driver’s-side door. “Can we pick it off him?”

“Don’t,” Ronan gasped. “Don’t touch it – don’t —”

The driver’s seat knocked back so hard that it smashed into Adam’s knees. Adam heard a sound that was unmistakably Ronan sucking in his breath.

“Oh, Jesus,” Gansey said again. “Tell me what I can do.”

Again the seat bucked. Adam’s hands clawed back against the seat behind him, quite against his will. Whatever was happening, they wanted to help it happen faster. From the front seat, Ronan’s phone began to ring and ring and ring. It was the low dull ring that Ronan had programmed for when Declan’s number called.

The worst was that Adam knew what that meant: something was happening to Matthew. No, the worst was that Adam couldn’t do anything about any of it.

“Ronan, Ronan, don’t close your eyes,” Blue said, and now she was crying. “I’m calling – I’m calling Mom.”