The Private Serials Box Set(76)

It wasn’t a soft kiss. It wasn’t a slow kiss. It was a desperate kiss, as if he were afraid I was going to change my mind at any moment and he was trying to soak up as much of me as he could before I came to my senses. But my senses had fled and left me alone with this man and his mouth.

It was a hungry kind of kiss, the kind of kiss that was vocal. I could hear him kissing me, all the growls and groans. I didn’t need to worry about breathing because, somehow, the kiss was breathing for me.

His hands were still on either side of my face, holding me to him, turning me every which way, trying to reach every part of my lips with his. My fists gripped his jacket, then blindly found their way to the zipper, pulling it down and finding his shirt underneath. I slid my fingertips down his torso, remembering every ripple of corded muscle, every ridge. When I reached the hem, I slipped my hands beneath it and started my journey back up his stomach, this time feeling his warm skin against mine.

He spun us around, one hand coming to my back, and he pressed me down to sit on the seat of his bike, straddling my knees.

Then, he shifted gears unexpectedly and I was floating. His mouth was a whisper upon mine and he feathered his hands down my neck, along my jaw, teasing my collarbone.

All the times Preston and I had been together, he’d been all manner of lovers. The first time was hard and rough; the release of all the tension we’d built between us. The second time was sweet and slow; a celebration of finding one another. But this, dear sweet Lord, this was divine. He was worshiping me, giving thanks, and each kiss was a prayer. Each kiss seemed almost breakable, so fragile, and it was perhaps that moment, in that kiss, I realized how sorry Preston actually was.

The reverence with which he touched me, the gentleness, it broke something inside of me. The dam I’d built, the wall I’d erected, and it came crashing down. Each tender kiss from him was like a wrecking ball to my defenses. Tears started streaming down my face, but for the first time in months, they were a mixture of sad and happy tears.

A sob broke free against his mouth, and then his hands gripped my hips and he hauled me up against him, lifting me off the ground. My legs went around his waist without a single thought, and then he sat the bike so he was balancing on it and I was straddling his lap. His hands moved upward, moving over my back, curving over the top of my shoulders, pulling me down to him even more.

I cried against him and eventually my face found the crook of his neck and I let everything out I’d held on to so tightly since that day when I thought my world had fallen apart. He let me cry. He held me, rubbed every part of my body available to him with his large, strong hands. He whispered to me, trying to calm me.

“Shh. Baby, please.”

His voice was shallow and broken, hurting along with me.

“I’m so sorry.”

I could hear the sorrow in the low timbre of his voice.

“Everything is all right now.”

I believed him.

When I’d finally exorcized all the emotions from my body, I pulled away and looked at him. He looked just as wrecked as I felt with worried eyes and creased brow. I cupped his jaw with my hands and spoke softly to him.

“I forgive you.” I shook as I spoke the words. I wanted him to hear me say it, so I said it again, louder this time. “I forgive you, Preston.”

“Lena—“

“No, let me finish.” I took a breath and trudged forward, staring into his eyes, watching the worried look from his face slowly disintegrate. “It was shitty that you lied to me.” I watched as he opened his mouth to speak, but I narrowed my eyes at him. “But, I understand why you did it.” My thumbs brushed over the peaks of his chiseled cheekbones under his beard and a smile crept across my face. “And if I didn’t love you so much, I would probably hold it against you forever.”

I watched as the understanding moved over the features of his face as he realized what I had said and what it meant. His hands slid down my back, coming to my sides just over my ribcage, his thumbs just brushing the sensitive skin at the underside of my breasts through my shirt.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you, how many times I stopped myself from getting on a plane and just coming for you. You’ll never know…”

“It’s okay,” I said, my forehead pressed against his. “I wasn’t ready for you. If you’d come any sooner, I probably would have turned you away. I was pretty mad at you for a while.”

“I’m sorry.”

I pressed my fingers against his lips, effectively stopping any more words he tried to speak. “I know, and it’s over. No more apologies.” I ran my index finger along the length of his full bottom lip, then I moved down and took it into my mouth.

The heat was back and it came through me like wildfire. The sweet kisses from moments ago, and even the mournful ones we’d just shared, all gave way to the raging heat coursing through me in that moment. The kiss erupted and so did my self-control. I found myself gripping him, wrapping my legs around his waist tighter, trying to bring myself closer.

Even though the horizon was orange and pink with the sunset, the sky just overhead had turned purple with clouds. Suddenly, we were in a downpour with rain falling from the sky, washing away everything from the last two months. All the anger, the sadness, the heartbreak; it all was rinsed away by the warm rain.

“Please let me take you home,” Preston rasped against my lips. I knew what he was asking, knew he didn’t just want to drive me to the apartment. My heart sped up at the thought of being with him again, letting him see me vulnerable again. But then I remembered what it was like to give myself to him.