The Private Serials Box Set(6)

I didn’t look up at her and I didn’t say anything, afraid to tell her what I’d seen under his shirt collar. Being a terrible husband, being absent and emotionally unavailable, was bad enough. If I told her what I saw, she’d likely be unstoppable in her rage and find him to take her anger out on him. She would also try to pressure me into leaving him, and I knew I couldn’t do that. I also knew she’d never be able to understand why. The mistake I’d made before our marriage had even begun would keep me tethered to him.

I sighed loudly and shook my head. “I couldn’t fathom the thoughts running through his mind. Perhaps in a few days I can try to talk to him again. Maybe I just caught him at a bad time.”

“Your wedding anniversary was a bad time for him to talk to you?” she asked snidely. I didn’t take offense. I knew she wasn’t angry with me.

“He’s stressed at work,” I mumbled.

“Don’t make excuses for him, Lena.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize either!”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want you to take a stand! Don’t let him walk all over you and don’t let him make all the decisions! It’s your marriage, too, Lena. It’s your life just as much as it is his.”

I heard her words, felt them sink into me, and then I felt them fall away. I was conflicted. Before I could stop them, the words were falling out of my mouth. “I think he’s cheating on me,” I whispered.

Sam didn’t blink, didn’t breathe. She just looked at me as she formulated her thoughts. “Why do you think that?”

“Last night, when he came home, I saw something inside his shirt near his collar. At first, stupidly, I thought it was a bruise. But I eventually realized it was not a bruise. It was a hickey.”

“Did you ask him about it?”

“I tried, but he changed the subject and left.”

“Hmm. Suspicious,” she said, warily. I nodded. We were both quiet for a few minutes. I replayed the whole evening in my mind, running through each and every thing I could have done differently. But no decisions I’d made or words I could have said differently changed the fact that he’d come home with that mark on him. A mark another woman had put on him.

“Why don’t you leave him, honey?” Sam’s words were a quiet whisper, as if her voice could have scared me away. She was treading lightly, not wanting me to turn away from the direction the conversation was heading.

“I can’t,” I whispered, just as quietly.

“Yes,” she said, placing her hand over mine. “You can.” I shook my head slightly, feeling my hair sway back and forth over my ears.

“No,” I whispered again. I tipped my head up to look her in the eyes again. “I can’t, Sam. Really. It’s complicated.”

“How can I help?”

I shrugged. My next words were drowning in tears, choked out on sobs. “I don’t know.” I don’t know. Those three words were the answer to a lot of questions I had running through my mind. Was there any hope left for my marriage? Would I spend the rest of my life tied to a man who didn’t want to be with me? Would I feel this lonely forever? Would I go the rest of my life without feeling a man’s hands on me again? My head fell into my hands as I tried to cry discreetly in the coffee shop. I heard Sam move and then heard her next to me before I felt her arms come around me. I leaned into her and let the tears come, but stifled the sobs, tried to hold at least those in.

“What are you going to do?” Sam finally asked after I’d calmed down a little.

“Well,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I guess I’m going to find out if he’s really cheating on me.”

“The hickey isn’t enough proof for you?”

I shook my head again. “Listen,” I started, unsure of how I could explain something to her I’d never explained to anyone. Unsure of how to say the words I’d never uttered to a single soul. “I can’t just go on a hunch,” I said quietly. “I need actual proof.”

“For peace of mind?” she asked.

I nodded. “Sure.”

She tilted her head to the side again, her eyebrows narrowing at me. “What’s going on, Lena?”

“I’m sorry. I can’t go into any more detail than that. All I’m saying is, if anything is going to change, I need actual, physical proof he’s cheating. Me spying what I think is a hickey on the inside of his collar isn’t going to cut it.”

“Well, then,” Sam said with resolution in her voice. “We’d better get a rental car, some black turtlenecks and ski masks, and brush up on our stakeout skills.”

“What?” I said, half laughing.

Sam had a sneaky smile on her face when she answered me, rubbing her hands together. “We’re going to stalk your husband.”





Chapter Four


I sat in the passenger seat of a black Toyota Corolla, quietly crunching on Cheetos, my eyes glued to the front doors of my husband’s work. Cheetos, in hindsight, might have been a bad snack choice when wearing all black, and I struggled to keep the neon orange cheese powder from making its way into the fibers of my new turtleneck. I heard a giggle and looked over at Sam, sitting in the driver’s seat.