The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss Book 2)(27)

Ruby didn’t say anything at first, but I couldn’t help but notice that at my words her chest stopped moving. She was still for a very long moment, and then her breath came whooshing out. Her eyes filled with tears.

Shit.

“Ruby, honey, don’t cry.”

“Do you love her?” she whispered, the words surrounded by cries.

“Love her? Ruby, no. It was just one date.” I lifted her legs and scooted closer until she was forced to sit up, now fully in my lap, her head resting against my chest. “What’s wrong?”

“My friend Zoey from school said that when her dad married her stepmom, she just, like, all of a sudden was at their house all the time. Like one day she was there and the next day they were married.”

I rolled my eyes while still running my hand down her back, trying to soothe her. “Zoey is a liar, Ruby. We’ve talked about this before. She was very likely exaggerating. I’m not in love with Grace, we’re not getting married tomorrow, and you’re not getting a stepmom.”

“Not tomorrow, anyway,” she said, pointedly.

I didn’t really know how to respond. I couldn’t promise her she’d never have a stepmother.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I promise.”

“Why not?” she asked, sniffling as she ran her hand across her nose the way kids did that made adults cringe.

“Because if I ever decide to get married again, it won’t be a surprise. I won’t spring someone on you and force you to love her. You won’t have to fit with her because she’ll fit into this family like a puzzle piece. But, honestly, Grace and I are just spending time together because we like one another, not because we’re thinking about getting married.”

Ruby was quiet for a few moments and all I could hear were the rhythmic sounds of Jaxy jumping on the trampoline.

“If you marry someone, will I have to call her mommy?” Ruby’s voice cracked on the last word and it was almost as if someone reached into my chest and put a death grip on my heart.

“Sweetheart,” I said, rocking her back and forth, holding her as close as I could. “No one will ever replace your mother. No one. Nobody will ever make you forget your mother, and nobody will ever make me forget my wife.”

“Then why do you have to go on a date with someone?”

“Because, well, it’s hard to explain.”

“Try.”

I had to hold in a small laugh because in that moment she sounded exactly like her mother—bossy.

“People, adults, they’re not meant to spend their lives alone.”

“You’re not alone,” she immediately pointed out. “You’ve got me and Jaxy. And Grandma and Grandpa.”

“No, you’re right, I’m not alone. And being with you and Jaxy doesn’t make me feel alone. I love my life with you guys. But, that doesn’t mean I don’t miss being with someone like your mother.”

“You mean like kissing and stuff.” Her words were not a question; she knew exactly what she meant.

I pushed gently on her shoulders until she moved away from me so I could look her in the eyes. I moved my face down and looked at her straight on. “You’re eleven years old, Ruby, so I’m not going to treat you like a baby right now. So, yes, kissing and stuff. But it’s not just about that. Adults need to be around other adults for lots of reasons.” What I couldn’t tell her was that sometimes, after a particularly long day, I missed being able to just talk to someone. To have someone around who asked me about my day. Or wasn’t under the age of twelve. And perhaps until I met Grace for the second time, I hadn’t even realized how much I needed it.

“Are you going to go out with her again?”

Honesty had to be my best policy and I needed to be up-front with Ruby. Jax was a different story. I would have to play him by ear when it came to Grace, but I knew I had to lay it out for my daughter.

“I don’t know for sure. I know I want to see her again, but it all depends on whether we’ve scared her away already.”

Ruby laughed at my joke, and I couldn’t remember a time when I’d needed my baby girl to laugh at one of my stupid jokes more than I did then.

“But, I can promise you something.”

“What?” she replied, using her fingers to wipe the tears off her cheeks.

“I promise that I’ll never just spring a woman on you. I promise, no matter what happens, you’ll get a say. And I promise you’ll never have to call someone else mommy.”





Chapter Eleven

Grace

It had been three days since I woke up in Devon’s house and made his children banana pancakes. Three days and no word from Devon at all. I hadn’t expected to hear from him right away, but I could admit to myself that it hurt when three days had passed and not even a text had come through.

My mind kept wandering to the small kiss we shared. One tiny kiss. I hadn’t changed my clothes, brushed my hair, or even brushed my teeth that morning, but it was one of the sweetest kisses I’d ever had. At twenty-seven, I shouldn’t have been so obsessed with one kiss, but, good lord, I totally was. The way he pressed his lips almost to the corner of my mouth first, as if he were trying to make sure I wanted the kiss. It had caught me off-guard, sure, but as soon as I realized what was going on, I was all in.