The Orphan Queen (The Orphan Queen #1)(99)


I swallowed hard. “And that was why I didn’t tell. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me.”

He stepped closer. “What happened?” he whispered. “What do you know?”

Outside, the clock tower chimed nine.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come to you.” He moved back, giving me space to breathe. “I should have come to find out what you knew, and to update you on James’s progress. I should have given you freedom of the palace and allowed you visitors. I should have realized I had effectively trapped you here, without access to your friends or anyone else.

“But I was caught up in everything I needed to do, because my father was just assassinated, and my city demolished by something I don’t fully understand, and—” He dropped to the foot of James’s bed, and all the breath whooshed out of him. “I suppose you know how that feels better than anyone.”

“When my city burned, there was someone with me, holding my hand. I wasn’t alone.”

“And I made myself alone.” Tobiah looked up at me. “Because I was embarrassed. Because I thought I had to be alone to think and plan. Because I thought no matter who was with me, I was alone. I wasn’t thinking about you suffering, too. I’m sorry.”

My hand twitched, as though I might touch him, comfort him, but I caught myself and pressed my palm to my thigh. “I’ll tell you what happened in the wraithland,” I said. “But not for you. I’ll tell you because I need to stop the wraith, and the only chance I have of accomplishing that is with your help and cooperation.”

“I understand.”

When I’d dragged a chair closer to the boys, I opened my notebook to the sketches and entries I’d made during my time in the wraithland. I indulged a moment of hesitation before I handed it to him. Voice dropped low, I told him how I’d slipped out of West Pass Watch and stolen down the mountainside. He turned the pages along with my story, never looking up.

“I collected several pieces of the barrier from beside Mirror Lake. I don’t know if they will be useful, but I wanted to offer them to your committee for study.”

“Thank you.”

“Did you already know that Liadia had broken the Wraith Alliance by pouring magic into the barrier?”

He shook his head. “We heard the same rumors you investigated, but there was no proof beyond refugee claims. But with the pieces you brought back, it can be verified.” He dropped his eyes to the notebook again and brushed his fingers over a drawing of the locust-covered village. “What happened here?”

My voice tightened as I described the blackening sky, the bugs falling to their death when they flew too close to the lake’s reflection, and the pattering of their bodies all around me.

“The locusts were everywhere, smothering me. They were in my hair, my mouth, and even my nose. I couldn’t get away, so I used my power.”

Tobiah’s fingers clenched around the notebook. This was why I hadn’t told him, even as Black Knife. I didn’t need to see the disappointment in his eyes; no one was more disappointed in my weakness than I.

Ignoring his reaction, I continued. “Usually, I have to touch things, so I reached out for the air. I told it to wake up and save me, but it wasn’t the air that I awoke.”

“It was the wraith.” He stared at the sketch of the field of dead locusts, and the clear sky above.

“Yes.” I rubbed chills off my arms. “It drained me to use so much magic. I passed out for at least a day, and when I woke up, it was gone. The whole area was clear of wraith, because the wraith I’d brought to life had left.”

“But when you returned to the Indigo Kingdom, it followed you.”

“It followed me through the mountains, but then the mirrors on West Pass Watch frightened it away. It must have found a different path later, since the castle is still standing.”

“When you found it in Skyvale, why didn’t you tell it to go back to sleep?”

“If I had, the wraith would have stayed here and corrupted the city. I thought by making it solid, I could take it back out to the wraithland. I didn’t expect it to become human.” No, not human. Too easily I could remember the wraith boy’s body stretching, growing claws. Too easily I could imagine how quickly he’d have killed Tobiah before James or the other guards had been able to move at all. “Human shaped,” I amended. “I don’t know what he is, really. My power isn’t supposed to work like that.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I was young, before I understood, I animated my toys to play with me. I thought I was bringing them to life. But I wasn’t. Not life. Rather, I gave them the ability to do what I wanted them to do.”

“But not life. You say ‘wake up,’ but you don’t really awaken it.” He glanced at James, finally understanding why I couldn’t help his cousin.

“What happened in the wraithland was different, and I don’t know why. I don’t know how. Just that I’ve created this thing and I don’t know anything about it or what to do with it. I wish I hadn’t.” But giving life to the wraith boy—like this sudden and uncomfortable confession to Tobiah—was something I couldn’t take back. It was done. And I would have to deal with the consequences.

The wraith boy wanted me to go to the wraithland with him. In the spaces between breaths, I could still hear his whisper in my ear: Come to the changing lands with me. Come back with me.

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