The Night Mark(56)

“Can we pretend I’m not?” She carefully picked up the bucket of milk and moved it far away from Nanny’s feet.

“That’s what we’re trying to do,” he said as he freed Nanny from the milking stand and put her back in her pen with her live-in lover and their bastard goat baby.

“You keep reminding me I’m married.”

“No,” Carrick said, shaking his head. “I keep reminding me you’re married.”

She looked at him, a long look, a look he tried to avoid by averting his eyes and watching Nanny make a bed of her straw.

“Tell me something,” Faye said. “Tell me about the day you and I met.”

“You were there.”

“I know what I remember. But tell me what you remember.”

The littlest goat wandered up to the gate and butted Carrick’s palm with his head. Carrick scratched behind his ears, tugged his chin scruff.

“Hey there, Gruff,” Carrick said. “Go back to sleep.”

“Carrick, tell me,” Faye said. “Please?”

He smiled to himself, a sad sort of smile.

“We were fools, me and Marsh,” Carrick said. “He was the man who ran the ship, and I was the man who kept the ship running. We were close as brothers during the war. I trusted him with my life. I trusted him...with a lot. It didn’t matter then we were from different worlds. Then the war ended.”

“And it mattered.”

“It mattered.”

“He had money. Your family didn’t.”

“Not a red cent. I don’t know why Marsh tried to stay friends. I didn’t expect it of him. Maybe he just wanted to show off, stir up trouble. He asked me to visit him in his big place in Boston. I had a shift off from working the light and went to see him at the ‘Old House,’ and it was a house I expected to find. That was no house. That was a palace. I felt like a damn fool standing at the front door. Even the girl who opened the door wanted me to go around back till Marsh saw it was me. Then it was all right. He was happy enough to see me I could forget I didn’t belong in his world. He brought me into his house, gave me a drink, the finest cigar I ever smoked.”

“What day was it?” she asked. “Do you remember the date?”

“Never forget it. First day of summer in ’19.

“I asked Marsh why he wanted to see me. ‘To gloat, Morgan,’ he said. ‘I’m getting married.’ Then he told me about you.”

“What did he say?”

“It wouldn’t be right to repeat all of it, but needless to say he was happy you’d said yes to his proposal. I gave him hell for marrying a girl half his age. Here he was, going on forty and marrying a girl of eighteen. He said anybody who ever said money can’t buy happiness never had any of either. Your family needed the money, he said. He needed the young wife. And then he asked if I wanted to meet you. I said I had to meet this girl who he’d wanted to give his heart to. Marsh said...”

“What did he say? Tell me.”

“He said...” Carrick looked upward as if asking God for forgiveness. “He said you didn’t do a damn thing for his heart, but it wasn’t his heart he was going to give you. Sorry.”

“Very classy,” Faye said. “I married a prince among men.”

“I thought it was just bragging. Marsh did that, and God knows sailors ain’t known for sweet talk.”

“That was the day we met?” Faye asked.

Carrick shrugged. “You were at the house. Do you remember? You and your mother. She took one look at me, and I thought she’d call the coppers. I should have worn my uniform.”

“She was always a bit of a snob,” Faye said, playing along.

“Ah, it was how she was raised. Except you weren’t.”

“I’m glad I wasn’t a snob to you.”

She stood at his side and reached into the pen. The little goat butted his head into her palm like he had with Carrick, and she scratched behind his floppy dark ears.

“No...you were anything but. Your mother didn’t want me near you, and I’m sure Marsh wouldn’t have taken me out to meet you personally, but to spite her, he did it. He dragged me out to the back garden, and there you were, on that swing in your white dress and your straw hat with the ribbon on it flying behind you, and I thought I’d walked into a picture postcard. You must not have heard us coming down the path because you kept swinging, high...higher. And Marsh said something to me about how he’d curb your hoyden’s ways when you were his wife, and I said to him... I said, ‘Why? Why marry a girl with spirit and then snuff out her spirit?’”

“Because he wasn’t marrying me for my spirit.”

Carrick didn’t seem to hear her. He looked off, out the open window at the night sky.

“You were so pretty. I’ve never seen a finer sight in my life, before or since. Not even land after a year at sea was a better sight than you in your dress with your white ribbons and that smile on your face and your eyes closed, dreaming whatever girls dream about. Marsh called your name, and you opened your eyes and saw us. And you remember what you did?”

“Of course,” Faye said, bluffing.

“You jumped out of the swing and landed right in front of me. Then you stumbled, and I caught you.”