The Mother's Promise(56)

“What about you?” she asked finally. “Would you like to have a family … or, I mean, do you already have one?”

“Not yet,” he said. “But I’m hoping I’ll be a late starter. I’d like to have a family one day, very much. I just have to meet the right woman.”

They’d edged into strange territory now, and Alice’s urge to flee intensified. So when Dr. Sanders leaned forward and took her glass to put it on the coffee table, Alice felt relieved. She assumed that he was going to thank her again for coming and wish her good night. But then she saw something different in his eyes. She only had a second to register it, before he touched her face and pressed his lips—all dry and whiskery and passionless—up against hers.

She reared back. “Whoa!” She didn’t know what else to say. The horror must have been evident on her face.

Dr. Sanders remained silent. But his face, Alice noticed, had changed. His eyes grew narrow. His lip curled. Alice should have stood then, but his hands were still on her face. Were they gripping slightly tighter than before? Whatever it was, Alice felt like something had changed. It was like she’d been … pinned in place.

“I should go,” she said, but there was uncertainty in her voice. She had an instinct to make a run for it, but it was too ridiculous. She didn’t need to run from Dr. Sanders. She’d look like an idiot.

His face was still mean. “Why did you come here?” he said quietly.

Alice tried to remember. It took far too long to draw up the memory. “I … to drop off your documents.”

“No,” he said. “Why did you come here?”

Something about the way he asked made her question herself. Had she come here for another reason?

“I … I don’t know,” she said helplessly.

“Yes, you do.” His grip tightened on her jaw. “You do.”

The next thing she knew, Alice was on the floor, trapped by his weight. He let go of her face and took her two hands in his one, holding them high above her head. “Dr. Sanders,” she rasped. “Please.”

It was nonsensical, but she was still holding on to one last shred of hope that it was some kind of joke. It was cleared up when he hit her, once, across the face.

“You know why you came here,” he said, his voice different somehow.

She started to cry. “Please,” she said, her voice no more than a breath. “No.”

There was a strange absence to his eyes. As he wrenched up her skirt she wanted to scream, but she couldn’t summon the breath.

Afterward he seemed, not apologetic exactly, but concerned. He handed her her underwear. She was still wearing the rest of her clothes, though her shirt and bra had been pushed up to her neck and her skirt was around her waist. She tugged everything down. She was still wearing her shoes.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

For some reason she couldn’t fathom, Dr. Sanders seemed interested in her response.

“Yes,” she said, the biggest lie of her life. “Can I … can I go?”

“Of course,” he said, moving out of the way. “See you at work.”

She saw something in his eyes then, and that’s when she realized how crazy he actually was. He actually expected that he would see her at work. But he didn’t.

Dr. Sanders never saw her again.

*

Paul, remarkably, was still awake when Alice finished recounting the tale. And he looked comfortingly horrified. “That fucking…” His face contorted. “I’ll kill him.”

“That’d be great.”

“Jesus,” he said. “I thought that the guy cheated on you or was married or something. Not that.”

The surprising part about it was that Dr. Sanders had pursued Alice. She’d assumed he’d be thrilled when she disappeared from his life—making it easier to pretend it never happened. But when she didn’t show up at work the next day, he’d called and left a message for her. And he continued to call for the next three days while he was out of town. Alice became so anxious about it, she’d got a new number. Then it occurred to her that he’d have her home address in the company records.

“I packed up my apartment, moved in with Mom and Dad,” she said.

“That was then?”

It had been a dark time. Her mom had just been diagnosed with cancer—and Alice had told them she was moving home to be closer to her. Her parents had thought it was out of the blue.

“What happened to the job?” her dad had asked.

“I quit,” she’d said. “You were right. It wasn’t for me.”

Her parents had been skeptical but they assumed, as Paul obviously had, that it was over a boy. A heartbreak. Something that she would recover from, given time.

For months Alice replayed the evening—and all the months leading up to it—on a loop, wondering what she might have done differently. Wondering what her role had been. And worrying that she would run into him. She worried so much she made herself sick. She gained weight. Her periods stopped.

Later than she should have, she realized why.

And then … her mother died. The funny thing was, if not for that she might have terminated the pregnancy. But there was something about losing her mother that made her want to hold onto the life she had inside her. It was almost as if her mother’s death had assured Zoe’s life.