The Mistress(80)
“I remember all the questions you asked me when we had lunch together,” she said quietly. It seemed a thousand years ago.
“I was trying to understand the choices you had made. But you don’t owe anyone any explanations.”
“I told you I loved him, and I thought he loved me. It turns out that neither of us knew what that was.” A chapter of her life had closed, but it had had merit in the beginning, just not at the end. Without Vladimir, she would never have survived in Russia. And finally, she had risked everything, maybe even her life, to help Theo. He couldn’t forget that as he looked at her, and he knew he never would. And he could see that in her months alone, she had made peace with her history. And Theo respected the choices she had made in her early life, and since. They made sense at the time, and so did the decisions she was making now. No one could truly know what she’d gone through in Moscow, and how terrifying it had been for her, and how it had influenced the path she chose. He didn’t judge her. How could he? And now it was all different anyway. She was no longer anyone’s mistress. She was free to make her own choices, and the mistakes she made would also be her own. The past no longer felt like a heavy burden to her, as she looked at him. She liked taking responsibility for herself, she had longed for that, and a normal life. She had given it all up with Vladimir. And now she had years ahead of her to do what she wanted, make good choices, meet new friends, and fall in love with the right man.
And Theo was no longer obsessed by a woman who belonged to someone else and he could never have. It was all human scale now, the good and the bad. She didn’t need or want what Vladimir had given her. It came at too high a price. She was no longer willing to sell her soul or deny who she was.
Theo was smiling at her as they finished dinner.
“What are you looking at?” she asked him.
“You’re not a portrait anymore. You’re real.” She had lived in his studio for months, and in his head, and now he could reach out and touch her.
They went for a walk after dinner. It was a cold November night, but the air felt good on their faces. They could do anything they wanted now, and no one could stop them, or frighten them, or shame them. He stopped while they were walking, and put his arms around her, and kissed her. She smiled at him after they kissed, and then they walked back to the car, holding hands. The past was history, and the future lay ahead full of promise and hope. They had come a long way to find each other. And the woman who had haunted him since he’d met her was finally within reach, as he kissed her again.