The Mistress(65)

The real estate agent promised to call when she had researched some rental listings. The charade of looking for an apartment for a mythical cousin was no longer necessary since the woman knew so much. And Natasha reminded her to keep the prospective apartments small and not too expensive, since she didn’t need much and had a modest budget. The woman assured her that she understood, probably better than Natasha wanted her to, which was embarrassing. She realized that she had countless humiliations ahead now, selling her belongings, moving out, looking for work with no job experience. She wondered if anyone would even hire her. Maybe she’d have to work as a maid in a hotel, she thought to herself in bad moments, but if so, she would have to do it. Or she could take a job as a maid in a private home, when her money ran out and she needed a place to live. She realized that anything was possible now, but she would do whatever she had to. It never dawned on her to try and meet another man like Vladimir, or that another one would come along to save her, and pay for her beauty and her body and company. That was the last thing she wanted, and she was prepared to starve first. She was on her way to freedom now, and nothing would make her turn back. With all the doors closing behind her, there were others opening. She just didn’t see them yet, but hoped they were there.

It took her four days to empty her closets in an orderly fashion and figure out what to keep and what to sell. She had decided to keep the two plainest evening gowns, and then increased it to four in case she ever got invited somewhere formally again. Three were black and very simple but beautifully made, and the fourth one was red, and she had loved it when she bought it. It was one of the few she had picked herself. There were dozens of others, and she felt guilty when she saw how many she had, but Vladimir had ordered them all. She realized now that she had been an accessory to him, and not a person in her own right in his eyes.

She kept a few wool suits, and a number of skirts and pants, all her sweaters and blouses, even though the blouses were haute couture, but she might need them for a gallery job. She kept half a dozen of her heavy wool coats, and some light ones, and had three racks of furs to sell. They were magnificent, and then she hesitated again and kept a black fox jacket, two sporty ones, and she retrieved the sable coat he had bought her at Dior the previous winter. It was so beautiful, she didn’t want to give it up. And she weeded through her shoes too, and kept only those she thought she’d wear, and none of the fanciful ones that she had worn to parties, or lolling on the boat or at home. She kept the ones she’d need for work, and some sober, dressier ones, and her boots. All her fur hats went except the one that matched the sable coat she was keeping. She was going to sell all the Birkins, most of them alligator, and all with diamond clasps, which she had never liked, but Vladimir had insisted on them, as part of the role he cast her in. He had paid over two hundred thousand dollars for each of the Hermès alligator bags with the diamond clasps, and their price at Hermès had gone up since, and she wondered what she could get for them for resale or at auction. She was selling a dozen of them, and she had always heard they sold for high prices to Hermès customers desperate for them on the resale market, so they didn’t have to wait three years to order new ones in the colors they wanted, since Hermès was slow to deliver. It worked in her favor now.

And she had all the jewelry neatly stacked in the boxes it had come in. Vladimir had been more inclined to highly styled design pieces than large stones, but she was sure there would be a market for them. She just didn’t know where yet. Undoing a life to this extent was entirely new to her, but she was organized and methodical about it.

And the real estate agent called about three rental listings after a few days. She said they were very small and not too expensive, and she asked if Natasha would have any furniture since the apartments didn’t, and Natasha suddenly realized she hadn’t thought of it. But the realtor suggested she go to IKEA, where they had everything for the home, and it was dirt cheap. She could even buy it online, which would be a new experience for her too. She was going to be living a real life now, not that of a rich man’s mistress. But it was a long way from the dormitory and factory in Moscow. She had been banished from her luxurious life, but she would not drown. And once she sold almost everything, she would have enough to live on for a long time. She no longer had Vladimir’s protection, but she had her own. Her life of luxury had been on loan, and she was returning it in exchange for her freedom and independence, which were even more valuable to her now. The suddenness of her change in circumstances was shocking, but it felt right.

The realtor described the three apartments to her, and said she hadn’t seen any of them. She suggested they go that afternoon, and she had the keys to two of them, and could get keys to the third if Natasha was free. She had been in the apartment, working feverishly, for five days by then, and thought it might be good to get out, and she needed to start researching where to sell her clothes. And she had no idea where to go with the jewelry, except maybe to put it up for auction at Sotheby’s or Christie’s, but she thought she might want the money sooner, and they might not have room in an auction for many months. She agreed to see the apartments that afternoon, and braced herself for what they would look like. The prices sounded reasonable to her, and the real estate woman warned her that they were very small, and not what she was used to. Natasha assured her that she wouldn’t mind.

She took a cab to the first address on the rue du Cherche-Midi and met the realtor outside. Natasha was dressed simply in jeans again, but had put on heels and a decent blouse and was wearing one of the Birkins she decided to keep, a “So Black” with black hardware that she had pulled out of the “sell” pile before she boxed them up. And she had pulled out a black leather Kelly bag too. And whatever she kept she could sell later, if she needed more money.