The Mistress(44)

There was one last question he wanted to ask her, although neither of them knew the answer to it.

“What if you ever left him?” Admittedly, it was hard to imagine.

“Why would I? He’s good to me, he’s a kind man. I think he loves me in his own way.”

“But if you did for some reason?” She thought about it for a minute and almost said “he would kill me,” but she didn’t want to shock Theo or frighten him.

“He would never forgive me.” And they both suspected he could be dangerous then, but neither of them said it, they just thought it.

“When I first met you, I wondered if you were happy with him. He’s so much older than you are, so hard, so tough. Men like that don’t get softer when they go home at night.”

“No, they don’t,” she agreed. “I’m happy enough. I would be more unhappy without him.” And Theo knew now that it wasn’t about the lifestyle or the perks he provided, but the safety she believed he afforded her. Theo hoped she was right. But whatever her reasons, he was sorry for her. He thought she was missing a lot, whether she knew it or not. But she seemed to have no regrets about her lost freedom. She seemed to think it was unimportant, as a trade for her allegedly protected life.

He felt astonishingly close to her as he walked her back to her building farther up Avenue Montaigne. It had gotten colder and there were snowflakes in the air, which caught on her lashes as they stood outside her address.

“Thank you for the painting.” She smiled at him. “And lunch.” She knew it was a special moment, for both of them. She and Theo had had some kind of connection from the first time they met. It was as though they had known each other for years. She didn’t understand it. She could see it in his portrait of her, he knew her intimately, and she felt the same way about him. It had been just a chance meeting, but a nice one. And she felt a little sad, leaving him, knowing they wouldn’t meet again. She couldn’t. Vladimir wouldn’t like it if they became friends. That didn’t fit into her life, and Theo knew it.

“Thank you for having lunch with me, and answering my questions. I kept wondering about you, while I was doing the portrait.” And he didn’t say it to her, but now that he knew her better, he wanted to do another one, to capture a whole different side of her. She was a many-faceted woman, both wise and na?ve, frightened and brave, and poignantly human. He wrote his phone number down on a piece of paper for her then, and handed it to her. “If you ever need me, or need a friend, or need help, or you just want to talk, call me. I’ll be there.” And she suspected he would. He seemed like a man you could trust and rely on.

“Don’t worry about me.” She smiled at him again. “I’m safe.” She leaned toward him then and kissed him on the cheek and he held her for an instant, hoping that she was right and what she said was true, that she was safe. But how could she be with a man known to be ruthless, who had dangerous connections like Vladimir’s? Theo found it hard to believe. Maybe she knew him better. But Theo wasn’t sure.

She waved as she walked into the building, and used the code to let herself into the inner door, and then disappeared, and Theo walked back to his hotel on the Left Bank, lost in thought. He knew he wouldn’t see her again, except by coincidence somewhere, and the time they had just spent together was a once-in-a-lifetime gift.

It was nearly five when he reached the hotel. They had sat at the table at L’Avenue for hours, and he took his time walking back to where he was staying when he left her, to digest what she had said. And as he let himself into his hotel room, he saw Inez packing her suitcase and looking enraged. Her eyes were blazing, and he realized he had never turned his phone back on after lunch, and had forgotten his promise to call her at lunchtime. He felt like a complete jerk, but once he had been with Natasha, everything else had gone out of his head.

“Where the hell were you, or should I guess? And why was your phone turned off?”

“I know. I’m sorry. I forgot to turn it back on after lunch. I had lunch with Jean, and we got engrossed in a conversation about the art world. I’m really sorry, I lost track of the time.”

“I called him four times and you left him at noon,” she said, looking irate. “Were you with the Russian girl in the portrait?” He thought of lying to her again and decided not to. There was no point.

“I took it to her. She should have it.”

“And you stayed to go to bed with her?” she asked in a shaking voice as she closed her suitcase.

“No, we had lunch, and talked. That’s when I turned off my phone, and I forgot that I’d promised to call you.” In fact, he had stood Inez up for lunch, and he felt like a total heel, and didn’t blame her for being angry.

“You’re in love with her, Theo. I saw how you looked at her last night. And I don’t care who she belongs to, or what Russian gangster is paying her bills. You’re in love with her, regardless of how she feels about you. And for all I know, she’s in love with you too.”

“She isn’t,” he assured her. “She seems happy where she is.”

“This is what I mean by drama. I don’t need this in my life. I have a child, a job, I’m trying to make it all work. I don’t need some guy who’s in love with another woman, even one you can’t have.”