The Mirror King (The Orphan Queen, #2)(61)

“He doesn’t know about it.”

Which meant Tobiah’s recovery was still safe. And James’s? Secret because no one had a clue what happened to him.

“There’s been a rider from West Pass Watch.” Tobiah stared westward, as though he could see the wraithland from here. “The wraith is flooding across the mountains, and only a few hours away from West Pass Watch by horse. And in the south, another village has been swallowed.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled. I’d known this was inevitable. “He said it would come faster.”

“He said a lot of things.” Tobiah stepped closer to the table, to me, as though approaching a wild animal. “He said there would be consequences. This was one of those consequences, wasn’t it?” He almost sounded gentle, but a bitter note grew. “Meredith didn’t deserve this. She was a good woman. Kind. Generous. Forgiving.” He choked on the last word.

“I know.” She’d been my friend. Or could have, if I’d let her.

I dropped my gaze to the table again; my eyes were too dry and swollen, and I didn’t want to meet Tobiah’s. I didn’t want to see the disgust. The disappointment. The hatred.

“She liked you. She told me several times.” He drew a ragged breath. “Saints, Wilhelmina. I wish you had sent him back to the wraithland as soon as he became solid.” As though there were a way to go back in time and change everything.

“I thought we might need him,” I whispered. Heat from the fire pressed at me, suffocating. “I thought we could learn from him. And I felt . . . obligated to him. My magic did something unexpected when it brought him to life, and how could I dismiss him so easily? He was my responsibility.”

Even Meredith would have insisted.

“But you can’t just bring things to life, Wilhelmina. There are always consequences.”

“I didn’t expect it would be this.” My throat constricted and the words came strangled. “I didn’t think he would go this far.”

“Didn’t you?” He dropped to the chair next to me, voice low and urgent. “Don’t tell me you weren’t dreading today. I know you were, because I was, too. But you can’t allow your pet wraith to kill people because you don’t like what they’re doing.”

“I didn’t want him to kill her. I didn’t want him to do anything.”

“But he did! And he did it for you. Didn’t you hear? He said that I’m yours now, like I’m a prize to be claimed.”

I shook my head. “No, I—”

“You didn’t want her to be killed. I know. Just like you didn’t want my father to be killed, but Patrick did it anyway. For you. For your kingdom. For your revenge.”

“No!” I slammed my fists on the table. “I didn’t want either of them to kill in my name.”

“But they did. Whether or not you asked, they did it for you, and you let them.”

“I didn’t let them do anything.”

“Then how did this happen? Twice!”

Tears burned my eyes. “I can’t help what other people decide to do; if I could, you’d have followed your heart, rather than married someone because you were told.”

He hesitated.

“It wasn’t as if you didn’t already know how I felt. You knew before I did.” My eyes throbbed with grief, and I blinked back more tears. “It wouldn’t have mattered. You’d already agreed to it, and I was merely a distraction. I knew that. I accepted that.”

“Marrying her was the last thing my father ever asked me to do. Surely you remember; you were eavesdropping.”

“You didn’t always do what your father asked. You didn’t behave like he wanted you to. Instead you wore that mask as a prince so you could be yourself as Black Knife, because that was more important to you than how other people perceived you.”

His voice shifted low and controlled. Deadly. “You should know better than anyone that promises grow heavier when the person you made them to dies. You become obligated. Surely you know that. How many years did you spend training and arming yourself to take back Aecor because you thought that’s what your parents would want? How many children died for that cause? How many friends? And now, another man has taken Sandcliff Castle in your name. He’s killed hundreds of our soldiers.

“People—things—keep acting in your name, attempting to accomplish your goals no matter the collateral damage. And you keep letting them.”

“I didn’t let them!” I shoved myself up, hunched over the table. At my outburst, James stepped forward, but that was all. A warning. I dropped my voice to a growl. “You have no idea what it’s like when people are willing to go to frightening lengths for you. When you can’t predict their actions. You have no idea what a terrifying burden that is.”

“Believe me, I do. I’ve seen enough well-meaning and untrained people pretend to be Black Knife because they wanted to help. But I stopped them, because I couldn’t allow them to get hurt—or anyone else they came in contact with.” He balled his fists and leaned forward, so close I could feel the heat of him. “You have to stop those people from making mistakes, especially the ones that hurt innocents like Meredith. How will you be a strong queen if you can’t trust your people to make wise decisions?”