The Matchmaker's Playbook (Wingmen Inc., #1)(70)

He pulled Vivian to her feet and led her back toward the trees, then placed both hands on her shoulders. “You ready?”

“Wait.” She looked back and forth between us and whispered in a shaky voice, “What’s happening?”

“First day of the rest of your life.” Lex nodded seriously. “Think of it as sex ed, only . . . better.”

“I know about the birds and the bees.”

Lex smirked, eyeing her up and down in disbelief. “Sure you do.”

“Who are you?” she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.

“The second half to his whole.” Lex pointed at me.

“You’re gay?” she said.

He tugged her close to him. “Rub against me and find out, sweetheart.”

I rolled my eyes. “Viv, just let Lex teach you how to kiss. I can’t do it, because . . .” I frowned. Technically, I could do it. I just . . . didn’t want to. It felt like cheating, even if it was just a job. Shit, I wondered if strippers thought the same thing every night they got ones shoved down their panties.

“He grew a vagina,” Lex said helpfully. “Besides, he may get more tail, he may even have me beat in bed—we haven’t really done a survey as of late—but this? This I know I excel at. So pucker up, buttercup, because I’m about to change your life.”

“The survey was falsified,” I argued.

Lex pressed his mouth against hers softly, then pulled back. “Now, before I go in again, I’m going to lick my bottom lip. Note I said lick, not slobber. A light lick, so that our lips slide across one another. And then just a small tease.” He licked his lips and kissed her again, this time lingering at her lower lip before another kiss. Then his tongue slid out, meeting the entrance of her mouth before he pulled it back.

Her eyes were closed, and she leaned forward as Lex started talking again. “Now, once you have the correct pressure down, make sure you keep your hands above his waist. They are never down, they are never tugging at his head, simply touching his biceps lightly, almost like you’re trying to control yourself. Got it?”

Vivian didn’t look confident, but she nodded and then leaned in and kissed Lex.

When she was finished, she took a step back and waited.

“Good.” Lex frowned. “Maybe hesitate a bit more, make sure you’re touching at least one erotic point on my body.”

“Erotic point?” Vivian frowned.

Lex sighed as if he were teaching math to a first grader. “Pecs, dick, hips, elbows, shoulders, thigh. But in this case, I said no below the belt, so touch my elbow. Or if you really want to go big, go ahead and touch his thigh.”

“His thigh.” She nodded. “Okay, so we’re sitting?”

Lex groaned. “Dude, I really don’t have time for this.”

I intervened. “Viv, if you’re standing, go for the bicep. Like this.” I pulled her into my arms. “And if you’re sitting, yes, graze his thigh. But don’t grope. A graze is how you touch a flower; a grope is how you grab a stress ball.”

“Flowers, not balls.” She nodded. “Got it.”

Lex burst out laughing. “Alright, my work here is done. Have fun, kids.”

He walked off whistling while girls stared after him.

“You think you got it?” I crossed my arms. “Because we’re running out of time, and I have things to do.”

“Yup.” If she nodded one more time, her head was going to fall off.

“No more nodding, no more short answers. Say ‘yes’ instead of ‘yeah.’ Always answer with full sentences—you aren’t sixteen anymore. And don’t nod. If you nod, he can’t hear your voice. And we need him to hear your voice. We want it to torture him when he’s in bed. Alone. Got it?”

She nodded, then stopped and said, “Yes.”

“Good girl. You have my number. Text soon.”

I walked toward my car. I was going to be late for dinner, but that didn’t matter. I just wanted to see Blake.

Hell, I didn’t even need sex.

Which meant something was seriously wrong with me.





CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

“I think you should fake the flu,” I said while Blake rushed around her room to get ready for her dinner with David. I’d stalled her as many times as I could. First in the shower, then before she got dressed. And now, as she slid on heels, all I could think of was her wearing those heels with me, naked. “On second thought.” I tilted my head. “Wear those for me tonight?”

Blake laughed and stood on wobbly legs. “So how do I look?”

I sighed and closed my eyes. “Gorgeous.”

“You’re not even looking.”

“Because looking at you pisses me off. It reminds me that he’s going to be looking at you, and every time I think about him in the same damn room as you, I want to cut off his shooting hand and bury it in Gabs’s yard.”

“That’s really graphic.”

I groaned. “You have no idea”—I stalked toward her—“how graphic I can really be. Care for an example? I have several.” I nipped her lower lip and tugged the strap to her slinky black dress down her shoulder, kissing the spot the strap had just occupied and trying to shove the material farther down.