The Matchmaker's Playbook (Wingmen Inc., #1)(46)

“Thanks.” She slapped my ass just like I had done to her a few minutes ago. It tingled. It tingled hard. It tingled good.

With a groan, I followed her peppy steps to the door and mentally moved up the timeline. She wanted David?

She was going to get him.

By this weekend.

My heart did a little skip.

I brushed it off as heartburn and rushed her to my waiting SUV, my eyes lingering on her ass the entire way.





CHAPTER TWENTY

“You know”—I smirked—“this isn’t a sting. You can take your sunglasses off. Plus we’re inside, so it kinda makes you look like a loser. Just saying.”

Blake elbowed me hard in the ribs and kept her sunglasses on, lifting her chin high into the air. “But you said not to make eye contact, and that’s really difficult for me. Thus the sunglasses.”

“Dude, just look at his crotch.”

“His crotch?”

“Yeah, he’ll eat that shit right up.”

Blake burned bright red. “I’m not looking at his crotch!”

A girl hurried by us, nearly knocking over brochures for the business program.

Blake covered her face with her hands. “Please tell me I didn’t just say ‘crotch’ that loud, twice.”

“Say it one more time. I promise it will be worth it.”

She lowered her hands and glared. “Any other pointers that don’t involve me staring at his—” She motioned in the air with her hands and coughed.

“His . . . ?” I cupped my ear.

Blake licked her lips, her cheeks still stained red as she said under her breath, “Groin.”

I kept my laugh in, just barely. “I think you can do better than that, Miss Nursing Major. I have an idea, let’s play Name the Parts!”

“No,” Blake hissed. “We aren’t naming body parts in the hallway while waiting for David to just stroll by! What if he walks by when I say—?”

“Penis?”

Her hand slammed over my mouth. “Shh!”

I peeled her fingers away one by one. Strong grip—good to know. “If you can’t say it, you probably shouldn’t be playing with it, you know?”

Eyes wide, she gasped. “I’m not playing with anyone’s”—she lowered her voice to a whisper—“penis.”

“Isn’t that a shame?” I sighed. “Hey, I’ve got one you can practice with.”

“My face probably can’t get any redder than it is right now, can it?”

“I don’t know. Should we try?”

“Ian, I swear if you say one more word . . .” Her finger wagged at my face. It was cute, getting her all embarrassed. Almost like foreplay, only more fun, because she was so innocent.

“Penis.” I said it again. “Just say it.”

“No!”

“Tits.”

“Oh hell,” she muttered under her breath, then started marching away. I gripped her by the elbow and tugged her back against me.

“Come on, Blake. Eventually, you’ll have to get past the point where you aren’t afraid of your own sexuality. And something tells me that David’s not going to be supergreat in bed, so you need to at least gain some confidence so you can tell him what you want.”

“What?” Blake turned, hands on hips. “What makes you think he’d be bad? I mean, I’m a virgin.”

“Yup.”

She threw her hands into the air. “So . . . I’ll suck.”

“Not possible.” I eyed her up and down. Not freaking possible. “Believe me. I know this shit. As for David? The last girlfriend who was interviewed stated that although he earned an A for effort, on more than one occasion she studied for a test during. You know? A test during.”

“During?”

“Sex.”

“How?”

“Well, the way she explained it was quite clever—she hid note cards in her pillow. Brilliant, right?”

Blake’s mouth dropped open. “But, that’s so . . . impersonal. And awful. Shouldn’t you be putting your whole body into it? Your mind? Your soul? I mean, why have sex if you aren’t going to give everything you are every single time?”

The more she talked, the harder it was to breathe.

Why indeed? Because sex felt good.

But lately, it had become monotonous, boring. And then Blake and I had kissed. And now, everything about her, even just conversation, was exhilarating and new.

Shit on a stick.

“Uh.” I cleared my throat. “We’re getting off-topic. The point is, you may need to give him direction. Meaning you may need to say words like ‘penis.’ The end.”

“Fine.” Blake closed her eyes for a few seconds, then opened them and whispered, “Penis.”

“Louder.” I grinned.

Her ears were as bright as a red crayon.

“Penis,” she said loud enough for anyone passing by to hear.

Lucky for us, one of those people just happened to be David.

“Oh, hey man.” I held out my hand for a good ol’ friendly shake. “Didn’t see you there. How’s it going?”

David’s mouth was open in, well, probably shock, that his good little bestie just uttered the name of a man part, out loud, in the business building hallway, like a pro.