The Matchmaker's Playbook (Wingmen Inc., #1)(17)

It was horrible.

When she finally managed to figure out that kissing could be special, personal, and romantic, she latched on to me and Lex emotionally, making it nearly impossible for us to get her to follow any rule.

Hell, she was the reason we had rules and why we never made exceptions. The last thing we needed was another Tara.

Lex chuckled. “On that note, I’ve rearranged your schedule and taken on two of your clients to free up some time for”—he motioned to the screen—“this.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“No,” Lex said. “Actually, it’s worse.”

“You mean she’s a little virgin who’s never kissed a man, can’t spell the word “orgasm,” blushes when people talk about sex, and believes in love at first sight?”

Lex remained silent.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Did you print off the questionnaire?”

He thrust a stack of papers in my face. “Check out number fifteen.”

My eyes roamed across the questions until I found fifteen through twenty, which pertained to relationships: What would you wear on a first date? Her answer: Something comfortable. I tend to sweat when I’m nervous, so maybe a baggy sweatshirt? Or a hat. Hats are good because they look mysterious. I had a sudden vision of Blake in a giant pink hoodie and a Yankees hat that flattened her ears.

“Number sixteen’s my favorite.” Lex smirked, putting his hands behind his head as he watched me read.

My first kiss was . . . Her answer: Hopefully it will be great! She had typed in a smiley face with a heart emoji. This did not bode well for my workload. I barely managed to keep myself from groaning out loud.

I sighed. “No wonder she kissed my cheek.”

“She what?” Lex nearly fell out of his chair. “She kissed you . . . where?”

I pointed to my left cheek.

Lex stared hard, like he was still having a hard time believing it. “No shit?”

“She grew up in some faraway town named Riggins.”

“Dude, need I remind you that my grandparents had a ranch in Montana with about fifty thousand head of cattle. There are no excuses for that.”

“I’m meeting with her tonight.” I sat on the couch next to Lex, my eyes furiously reading over her answers. “Did you want to do the rest of the testing with her, or—?”

“Oh, no.” Laughing, Lex threw his hands into the air. “That’s all you, bro. I just took two of your clients, meaning my schedule’s about to get just as shitty as yours. I won’t have time to do the dirty work anymore.”

The dirty work always included a quick kissing test followed by a few very personal questions involving sex.

Lex had never minded it before.

And I sure as hell didn’t want to sit in front of Blake with a freaking diagram of the human body and ask her to point to erogenous zones.

“Hey.” Lex slapped me on the back. “Look at the positive side.”

“Which is?”

“Marissa called.” He stood. “She wants a little TLC, and according to your schedule, you’ve got around two hours to kill before you’re balls-deep in Sex Ed 101.”

“Remind me who Marissa is?”

“Red tank top. Last week at Dante’s, she tried to grope you. I intervened. She was too drunk and sloppy. Gave her your phone number.”

I shook my head. I seriously didn’t remember her.

Lex sighed. “Big boobs?”

I frowned.

“Her jeans were painted onto her body, and she was wearing brown cowboy boots.”

“Ohhh.” I nodded slowly. “Damn. I remember the boots, because they made her ass look huge, in a very inviting please-spend-some-quality-time-with-me way.”

Lex laughed and slapped a piece of paper in my hand. “Cell number, e-mail, and the usual background check. She’s clean, but be careful. According to her Facebook profile, her only goal in life is to save the wolves.”

“Well.” I grinned shamelessly. “We do need saving.”

“That we do.” He joined me in laughter while I quickly dialed her number.

“Hello?” She picked up on the first ring. Rookie mistake. Did no girl understand? Third ring. Always wait until the third ring. If you answered on the first, it meant you were desperate. The second basically said the same thing and gave the guy the idea that you were sitting around stalking his Instagram just waiting for him to call.

“Marissa,” I rasped out. “It’s Ian.”

“Hi!” I pulled the phone from my ear. I’d already had enough shrieking for the day. “How are you?”

“Free. You?”

She let out a throaty laugh. “As free as you want me to be.”

“Where do you live?”

“Why can’t we go to your place?”

“Sorry.” I winced. “It’s getting remodeled. Crazy, but a wolf actually got loose from the zoo and somehow made its way into my home. I saved it from getting shot, using my own tranq gun, but the damage to the floor was already done. They have such sharp claws, you know?”

I could almost feel her nodding her head in agreement while I snatched my keys from the counter and walked out into the rainy weather.

“I just love wolves.”