The Mad, Bad Duke (Nvengaria #2)(79)

He clamped his fingers around her wrist, a grip she could not break. “Meagan.”

“Let me,” she begged. “Let me touch you.”

Alexander watched her, his blue eyes filled with stone-stubbornness, which Meagan realized masked fear. Very slowly, he peeled his hand from her wrist.

Without asking again for permission, Meagan lowered her hand to his hardness and brushed a stroke along it.

Alexander let out a groan, his jaw tightening.

Meagan leaned her head against his chest, letting her fingers explore the fascinating part of him that made her feel so wonderful. The tip was soft, but firm and blunt, the shaft so very hot. She cupped her hand over it, stroking her fingers down the sides, liking his sleek firmness.

Alexander leaned back on his elbows, his hardness pressing upward into her hand, his eyes closing as though he were in pain.

“Am I hurting you?” Meagan asked worriedly.

“No. Heaven help me; do not stop.”

Alexander reached down and guided her fingers to show her what to do, then released her to continue as she wished. She lightly stroked as he’d demonstrated then dipped her hand to his firm, tight balls.

“Vixen,” Alexander growled then trailed off into Nvengarian phrases.

Meagan smiled. “Good. When you start speaking Nvengarian, I know I’m pleasing you as much as you please me.”

Alexander opened his eyes, the blue of them strong, and growled something else at her. She did not understand him, so she decided to take no notice.

“You always make me feel wonderful,” she said. “I know I am likely not very skilled, but I would like it if you felt nearly as wonderful.”

He brushed back her hair, his breathing quick, his eyes half closing. Meagan took that as a good sign and went on caressing him. Once she got used to touching this interesting part of him, she lowered her head and flicked the tip with her tongue. He tasted warm and dark and a little salty.

Alexander snarled still more fiercely, hauled her up to him, and took her mouth in a bruising kiss.

She tried to protest. “I was not finished.”

“You are.”

Alexander nearly threw her to the mattress, and she let out a squeak at his abruptness. The smile had left Alexander’s face, and Meagan understood suddenly what he meant when he said she should be afraid.

No gentleness this time. Alexander entered her with a fierce possessiveness that stole her breath. He pinned her wrists again, holding her down, though Meagan had no intention of going anywhere.

She was near to release very soon after he began, but Alexander loved her for a long time, his kisses hot, his voice broken as he whispered Nvengarian words.

Meagan was coming apart under him when Alexander abruptly ripped himself away from her and sprang from the bed just before his body rippled into the powerful demon that was the logosh. His eyes, enlarged, blazed blue.

Meagan gasped and scrambled against the headboard, snatching up pillows to shield herself.

Alexander’s body shimmered, and he was himself again, breathing hard, his skin slick with sweat. “I cannot control it. I cannot. Damn it.”

“Be the panther again,” Meagan said swiftly. “You said you could take any shape for the rest of the world.”

Alexander shook his head, kept shaking it. “Do you not understand? I cannot control it around you—the love spell will not let me …”

“Let me touch you,” Meagan begged. “You liked it when I touched you.”

She reached for him but Alexander backed quickly from the bed. “Stay away from me. The best thing is for you to stay away from me.”

Meagan’s heart ached. “I do not wish to.”

Alexander pressed his eyes closed and balled his fists. His chest rose with a long breath, as though he tried to calm himself, but his body visibly shook.

“Come back to bed,” Meagan said. “We will rest, talk—simply be with each other.”

Alexander opened his eyes, some of the chill returning to them. “I cannot simply lie here and talk to you. The love spell wants me to have you. And if I have you, I cannot control the logosh.”

“We can try.”

Alexander was silent a long time, and Meagan closed her mouth over her pleas. He took deep breaths as he struggled to pull the chill mantle of Grand Duke Alexander around him again, just as Nikolai might bind him into his coat and sash of office.

“There is no need for us to be together,” Alexander said at last, his voice calmer. “I no longer have the necessity to sire an heir.”

“No longer have the necessity?” Meagan repeated in shock. “What do you mean—you think of this as necessity?” She waved her hand at the tumbled bed.

Alexander’s gaze warmed the slightest bit. “I come to you for pleasure, Meagan, that is certain. But it is best we do so no longer.”

He cooled again, his eyes becoming closer to the chips of ice they’d been when she’d first seen him in the ballroom at Lady Featherstone’s weeks ago.

Alexander leaned to catch up his trousers and slide them on. “I will speak to Mrs. Caldwell and Nikolai about our future living arrangements.”

“Future living arrangements …” Meagan’s mouth hung open.

Alexander lifted his shirt from the pile and pulled it over his head, settling it on as he turned away. “This is driving me mad, and seeing you makes it worse. I will not risk hurting you in order to sate my own pleasure.”