The Mad King (The Dark Kings #1)(63)



“Oh, dear me, no.” She laughed, her blondish-gray curls bobbing attractively around her pixie face. “How could you? Why, this is the first time we’ve ever met.”

Ookay. The woman was clearly one bat short in her belfry. “Right, well... Let’s see.” Alice turned to the display case, trying to hurry things up. “Seems all we’ve got left are the Red Queen’s Revenge.”

“Oh.” The woman shook her head. “That old hag? Surely you could have come up with something better. Off with your head.”

Had she not made that same joke to Tabby a few minutes ago? A shiver of strange zipped down Alice’s spine.

“What’s in it?”

“Umm.” It took a second for her to gather her wits. This woman was seriously weirding her out. Memo to self, check the web for any reports on missing mental patients. “Uhh, it’s red velvet. Frosting is Italian butter cream with flecks of pink peppercorn.”

Crazy lady groaned. “As much as I despise that fat bag of poo, that sounds lovely. I’ll take one if you please.”

“Sure.” She handed her the second to last cupcake. “Here you go.”

The woman took the cake, unwrapped it, and took the largest bite Alice had ever seen a woman take. It didn’t even seem like she chewed before she crammed the rest in her mouth. “Mmm. Ohhh.” She made breathy cooing noises the whole time, a look of pure delight creasing her brow.

Crazy or not, the woman’s obvious enjoyment as she licked her fingers and pointed to the last one had Alice blooming with pride. “Yes, please. Thankfully I’ve no man to worry if my hips grow to the size of a hippopotamus.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us.” Alice smiled her first true grin. “Here, on the house.”

The woman did another one of her man bites, sighed, and then patted Alice’s hand. “Oh, but you do, dear.”

“Mmm? Do what?”

“You do have a man to worry about, although”—she leaned back on her heels and eyed Alice with a calculating glint—“he’ll go mad for each and every curve. Oh yes.” She nodded, now seeming to speak more to herself. “You’ll do very well.”

Was the woman trying to set her up with one of her grandchildren or something? Bet he was just as creepy and bizarre as the old crone.

“No thanks.” She frowned. Had it only been five minutes ago that she’d been having the best day of her life? “Auntie, I’m sorry, but it really is closing time. I have to clean up.”

The woman smiled, a secretive sort of thing. “Of course you do, my dear. Don’t be late. He’ll be waiting.” With a jaunty wave, she turned on her heel and left. The door jingled behind her.

“Oh my gosh, Tabby.” Alice ran to the door and locked it. She leaned against it, heart beating frantically in her chest. “What the freaking hell was that?”

Tabby popped her head out of the kitchen, a frown on her full lips. “What?”

Alice pushed the teacup-themed curtains aside and glanced out the window. Though the sun had set, the streets were still crowded with hundreds of tourists. Thankfully, crazy lady wasn’t one of them.

“That woman.” She turned, with a swift shake of her head. “She was nuts. Kept trying to set me up with someone. Total creep job.”

“Alice, are you okay?”

She stopped. Why was her friend looking at her like she was a bug under a microscope? “The woman?” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. “Ate my last two cupcakes.”

“No.” Tabby shook her head, her face a mask of confusion. “Honey, it’s been quiet as death out here. In fact, I’d wondered if you fell asleep.”

She laughed. “Tabby, shut up. You’re just trying to freak me out.”

Tabby planted her hands on her hips. She wasn’t laughing, and now her look went from confusion to true concern. “Hon, are you feeling okay? Sleeping good?”

Her voice was soft and patient, but wrinkles marred the corners of her eyes. Alice knew that look, had seen it before. A long time ago. It’d haunted her then; it haunted her still.

Alice clenched her fists, her anger intensifying the dull ache in her skull, which in turn only wound her nerves tighter.

A million thoughts buzzed in her head. Was Tabby lying? Trying to make her think she was crazy? She didn’t seem to be. How could she not have heard the woman? Quickly her eyes zoomed toward the case. Empty. Not crazy. She licked her lips and gave a self-effacing chuckle. “Yeah, you got me. I fell asleep.”

Tabby shook her head. “You know what, sweetie? Let me call Beany. He can come help me finish up. Why don’t you call it a night, go take a bath, drink some wine, and hit the sack? I think that’s what you need. Okay?”

Alice knew she wasn’t crazy. The woman had been there. As equally sure of that as she was, she also knew trying to convince Tabby of it would only make her seem crazier, not less.

She pinched her nose. “Yeah, think it’s these heels. Air’s too thin up here.”

Tabby smiled and walked back to the kitchen. “Leave the keys on the counter. I’ll lock up.”

Alice undid her apron and tossed it onto the counter, knocking a white business card to the ground. That hadn’t been there before. Frowning, she walked over and picked it up, flipping it back and forth. The only thing on either side was a large picture of a white rabbit with the words Rub me.

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