The Mad King (The Dark Kings #1)(14)

Images rolled past my mind’s eye again. And all around I drowned in the scent of cinnamon and vanilla. Chest aching from the loss of her, I tried to reach into one memory after another, tried to anchor myself into the scene as I had before, but my fingers sifted through Alice’s lovely frame like ghosts drifting on the breeze.

I wasn’t sure how long I traipsed through Danika’s memories of us. Maybe an eternity. Maybe no time at all.

But as I watched, as I moved through that alternate life, I began to warm up. Began to remember what would happen before the memory showed me what actually did.

And it wasn’t that I was remembering Alice, not in the sense that I remembered the one here in this time with me, but some part of me knew that other Alice.

The part that’d somehow bound and tethered myself to her in that time. I wasn’t sure how this was even possible. How my soul could yearn for something it’d never known in this life, and yet it did.

I now understood the stories of Hatter and his Alice.

But the couple in the vision, it was hard to believe that really could have been me. I’d been mad. Reciting poetry late into the night, with her wearing nothing but a smile for me.

Our love was so intense, so volatile, that the world around us had transformed because of it. And as I watched, I began to learn her. She loved baking. On Earth and even in Wonderland, she’d been renowned for her cupcakes.

But there’d been so much more to Alice than that.

She loved her gardens.

Loved to dance and sing for me. She had a beautiful voice too. Angelic. Sylphlike. Haunting and ethereal, like the woman herself. And she’d had her own magic. She’d weave the most magnificent gowns that seemed to have a life of their own the way they moved upon her and in the breeze. Like rolling waves of water and flame. Sparkling and alive.

I smiled as I watched her run through the haunted woods at night, leaving behind a trail of golden light as Wonderland came alive beneath her feet. Terrifying monsters bowed down to her.

Anything Alice came in contact with had no choice but to love her, marvel at the sight of her. With her exotic scrollwork makeup that moved upon her skin like worshipping serpents only helping to add intrigue and appeal to a woman who already exuded it from her every pore.

My heart beat so furiously I grabbed at my chest, falling in love with the creature in this life just as I had apparently in the other.

Images rushed through me of our long and happy life together.

I froze at the sight of a cherubic face that bore her eyes and my sly smile. A daughter.

We’d had a daughter.

Wonder stole my breath as that gorgeous, tiny little creature tossed herself into my arms, and suddenly Wonderland bloomed for her just as it had for her mother.

A daughter. I clenched my fists, aching for the sudden loss of her.

But soon our daughter vanished, and it was just Alice and me again, sitting at a table loaded with teas and cakes and friends and family. Most faces I didn’t know in this life, but they seemed as familiar to me as breathing in that one.

Making love beneath the stars. In a wall of water. In a garden bursting with flowers. Any and everywhere, marking our love through every part of Wonderland.

And finally... dancing beneath the starlight in a field of verdant poppies bursting with every color of the rainbow all around us.

I love you.

Her whispered words echoed through and around me.

And I watched as the man in her arms, the man who looked remarkably like me but who wasn’t me, bent forward and claimed her lips.

And I you. Always, my Alice. Always and forever...

Ripped from the memories, I was once again back in my cabin in Wonderland, staring not at Alice but into Danika’s bright blue eyes, and jealousy burned through my heart at the man who’d once had her. Even if it’d been me, it wasn’t me now.

I’d never known her touch.

Her love.

Her smiles or wonder.

Envy choked me, and tears ran unchecked down my tears.

“Now you know,” Danika said softly.

Swallowing hard, I couldn’t breathe properly. That terrible ache that’d abated when her memory had been with me was back now, choking me. Suffocating. Drowning me.

Galeta cleared her throat. “What would you do to get her back, Hatter?”

The words came from deep inside me. “Anything. I would do anything to make her mine again.”

My words were broken, my voice scratchy. But I meant it. Every word.

Galeta nodded. “And if I told you you’d have to go into hell?”

“I would do it.”

She smiled. “Good. Because that’s exactly where you’re going. The underworld. And Hades...” She sighed. “He isn’t the easiest to deal with right now. But if you want her back, Hatter, then there is no other way.”

“I don’t care. Kill me. Send me to her. Do whatever you need to do. Only give me a chance. What do I do?”

Galeta’s lashes fluttered as she gave a strangled cry. “Pray with all your might and heart that Aphrodite can get that dour man to let you in.”

“I’d storm the gates for her, Galeta. I can’t wait around another second. I have to get her back.”

Her lips thinned. “We’ve done what we could. And the only thing left to do now is hope that Aphrodite will bring us good news. But I can say this, Hatter. When I came here, I was certain there was less than a one percent chance of success.”