The Lost Girl of Astor Street(79)

I want to keep my anger. Want to cuddle it close, where I can protect it and nurse its growth.

Yet I remember Lydia leaving my house on the day that turned out to be her last. How we almost parted in anger, and how I only escaped being saddled with that lifelong regret because she stayed long enough for us to work through our disagreement.

“I hope you have a good time on your honeymoon.” The words are stiff, starched by my resentment.

“I love you.” Father holds me in a long hug. When he lets me go, he adds, “And I hope you’ll consider what I said about Mariano. I really do think he’s good for you.”

“No.” He intentionally misled me about who his family was. How can I trust that he really is on the straight and narrow? “Being involved with him . . . It’s just too risky.”

Father takes hold of the locket around my neck, bought for me by my mother and bearing Lydia’s image. “Piper, my girl. To love anyone is to risk.”





CHAPTER


TWENTY-ONE


It’s after eight when Joyce, Walter, and I return to the house. The air inside feels strange, as if even the house can sense the change this afternoon brought. After making sure Joyce knows she’s off duty this evening, I turn on the radio and perform an unladylike flop onto the couch. Nellie Melba’s Mattinata pierces the haze that’s surrounded me since my good-bye with my father. The higher her pitch-perfect soprano climbs, the harder I have to work to hold in the tears.

Walter returns from the kitchen with an odd assortment of appetizers left over from the wedding, along with two thick slices of wedding cake. Sidekick bounds along beside him, looking up at the tray with hope.

“So, earlier we ate a dinner that required about six different utensils. Now, we’re doing this.” Walter’s smile seems wary as he settles onto the couch. “Is it just me, or do you feel like at any moment, Mother will come in here with a broom and chase us out?”

I hold out a cube of cheese to Sidekick and feel the comforting tickle of his muzzle. “There is something uncouth about eating in the living room, isn’t there?” I pop a caviar canapé into my mouth. “But it isn’t the worst thing we’ve done in this room.”

Walter smirks. “It certainly wasn’t my idea to play a game of baseball in here.”

My mouth twitches with a smile. “I hated that vase anyway.”

“Mother thought for sure she was going to get fired for her son being a bad influence.”

“She had no idea that I was the bad influence.” A memory comes—swift and painful—of Lydia being yelled at when I talked her into climbing the tree in her front yard. That Sail girl is a bad influence on you, Mrs. LeVine had snapped to Lydia.

“And then it turned out your father was so happy to see you acting like yourself again, he didn’t mind at all.”

I scratch under Sidekick’s chin, and he groans his contentment. The aria fades to a close, and, for a moment, the room is silent. “I can’t believe I didn’t really understand about Father.”

Walter stops chewing.

“I mean, I knew. But I didn’t know. Not really.” Frustration surges through me. “No wonder I can’t figure out who killed Lydia. I’m too stupid to even notice what’s happening under my own roof.” I don’t realize I’ve grown loud until Sidekick noses at my knee, trying to bury himself under my legs. “Sorry, boy. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Piper, you can’t blame yourself for not being able to figure out what happened to Lydia. Even the police don’t know, and they’re professionals.”

“But she was my best friend. And she was here right before it happened—I should be able to see the answer, and I just can’t.” The tears come with such a rush, it’s as if a faucet has been cranked on. “Everything has been such a mess since I lost her. And it’s like when she died, anything soft and kind in me died too.”

Walter presses his clean handkerchief into my hands. “Pippy, that’s not true at all. You’re all heart. Just look at this dog who can’t get enough of you.”

“That’s because I feed him.”

“No, it’s because you care for him. That’s how you are. When you love someone, you’re fiercely loyal. That’s why you’ll get through this thing with your father. You love him.”

“But how do love and loyalty factor in when I think he’s just plain wrong? I mean, he doesn’t just work with them. He works for them. They were at his wedding, for heaven’s sake!”

Sidekick whimpers as he trembles against me.

“I don’t know,” Walter says. “But I know you’ll figure out a way. With your father and Mariano.”

I scratch behind Sidekick’s ear. I don’t want to think about Mariano. “When does your train leave?”

“Tomorrow. Early.”

“You’ll be glad to go.” The words make me feel achingly alone. Father off with his bride. Walter going back to California, to Audrey. And I’ll stay here. Stuck.

“I won’t be glad to leave you and Mother. I’m never happy about that.” Walter regards me for a long moment. “What will you do about Mariano?”

I break a cracker in half. Then into quarters. “Nick said he’s a crooked cop.”