The Lonely Hearts Hotel(46)
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POPPY FOUND A RING in one of the coat pockets she was rummaging through. She was happy. She put it on her left hand. It had a blue glass stone the color of blue eyes that had been crying. She figured people would assume that she and Pierrot were married.
At one point Poppy was bragging to the neighbors about how Pierrot was so possessive of her—he would never let her talk to any other man. He felt that Poppy was tricking him into becoming some horrible version of a man that he had no interest in being. He knew this was what she believed love was and that she was just trying to be normal, but he didn’t like it at all. It seemed sordid to him. He felt bad about himself all the time.
He did like to make her laugh nonetheless. She would toss back her head and open her mouth and reveal the terrible brown mess in there. They had a jar of money. They kept saving up money so they could buy some new teeth for Poppy. But then every time the money got to the top of the jar, they would spend it on heroin. She would hold up a warm rag to her face the next morning and really regret her actions.
What could be more darling in a woman than regret?
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HE FELT THEY WERE never quite meant to be together. Pierrot’s old infatuation with Rose started popping up. He used his love for Rose as an excuse never to commit to anybody, and now he used it to find fault with Poppy. She was kind of crass, wasn’t she? When she was thinking up a solution, she would sometimes stick her hand down the front of her pants. She would burp while she was eating. She always stuck her tongue way out at the side of her mouth when she was doing a chore. She was obsessive. Poppy had all these piles of rags in the living room. She was going through them and sorting them. The bottoms of her feet were black. She was holding her breasts in two hands. “Tits for sale!” she yelled out.
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ONE NIGHT he had to leave the room for a while and get away from Poppy. And on the same night, on the other side of town, Rose left her hotel, wanting to escape the room McMahon rented for her. Pierrot’s coat collar was pulled up so you could only see the top of his head. Rose had her fur hat down over her eyes so just the bottom half of her face was visible. Pierrot leaped back quickly as the trolley rang its bell at him and then surged by. Rose stopped at a streetlight as a car rumbled past the tips of her toes. Pierrot lit a cigarette. Rose inhaled from her cigarette. Pierrot exhaled smoke rings. Rose let white swirls escape from her nose. Pierrot tossed the cigarette onto the ground. Rose ground the cigarette with the sole of her shoe. Pierrot stopped to look at a mannequin wearing a pink dress in the window of a store on the west end of Saint Catherine Street. Rose stopped to look at a mannequin wearing a black suit in the window of a store at the east end of Saint Catherine Street.
“Are you there?” Rose said aloud.
“I’m here,” Pierrot said to himself. “Where are you?”
“It’s funny how often I think about you,” Rose said. “I still miss having you in my life.”
“Did you see the movie All the Pretty Girls Live in Paris? I thought it was so stupid. You would have laughed so much at it. I wish we could have laughed about it together.”
“Remember those pink cupcakes with silver balls on them we ate at that mansion? Those were so delicious. I keep trying pink cupcakes to find ones that taste just like them. But I never can.”
“Do you still read books? I wish you could tell me about all the things that depressed ladies in books are saying.”
“Do you still play piano? I’ve never heard anyone play the way you do. There was a recording by a Hungarian pianist. There was something about the way she played that reminded me of you.”
“I saw a kitten trying to catch the bottom of a curtain and it reminded me of you dancing.”
“Did you fall in love with somebody?” Rose asked.
“Does your sweetheart look like me?” Pierrot asked.
“Do you like coffee? Or ice cream? Are you able to afford ice cream?”
“Are you having a hard time these days, like everybody else?”
“Do you remember when we used to pretend to be on a train next to each other?”
“Do you remember how you told me that unicorns were absolutely real?” Rose asked. “And that you thought you saw one out by the chicken coop?”
“Did you ever love me? You don’t have to say. It’s an embarrassing question. I’m just curious.”
Rose sighed and turned around and walked back home. Pierrot sighed and decided to return to his room. Rose climbed up the stairs slowly. Pierrot stepped over someone sleeping in the hallway. Rose pulled her key out of her purse. Pierrot fumbled with the lock. Rose took off her hat. Pierrot shrugged off his jacket and left it behind him on the chair. Rose kicked off her shoes. Pierrot unlaced his boots and pulled them off. There were holes in the heels of Rose’s tights. One of Pierrot’s big toes was sticking out of its sock. Rose turned on the radio. Pierrot turned the dial to Late Night Music for Restless Moonlight Listeners. If she could, Rose never missed an episode of it. It was Pierrot’s favorite show by far.
Rose clapped her hands when a song called “You’re Not My Sweetheart” came on. Pierrot forgot about his problems when he heard this song. Rose felt the singer’s voice sounded so familiar. Pierrot thought he himself could have written the words to the song. When the words came on, Rose began to sing along. Pierrot couldn’t help but join in: