The Lonely Hearts Hotel(17)
He asked to be introduced to whoever had been playing the piano, and a pale and slender blond-haired boy was brought to him. Pierrot stood in the doorway and smiled brightly.
“Were you playing the piano, my boy?”
“You could say that, or perhaps you could say that the piano was playing me. Or at least that we were having a conversation.”
“Do you mean to tell me that the piano keys were making conversation with you? What a delightful idea, my boy. Now, I don’t suppose you could give me an example of something the piano has said to you?”
“The piano was just now telling me how it feels so odd when it rains. The rain can cause you to suddenly feel guilty for all the tiny crimes you have committed, like not telling your friend that you love her.”
“I do know that feeling. I’ve felt it quite a few times. And up until this moment, I really thought I was the only person who did. Well done and bravo, my boy. Because you have made me feel less alone in the world and less like a madman.”
“You’re exceedingly welcome, oh distinguished guest. And thank you for letting me know that I have been able to bring delight to someone as obviously esteemed as yourself.”
The Mother Superior rolled her eyes, but Mr. Irving could not stop smiling.
? ? ?
THE MOTHER SUPERIOR SHRUGGED when Mr. Irving returned to inquire about Pierrot a week later. She leaned back in her green leather chair and put both hands up as though she didn’t have anything to hide from the old man. “It’s always been a debate among us Sisters whether that boy is bright or completely idiotic,” she said.
“Do you know that is quite often a feature of an artistic mind?” asked Mr. Irving, who was seated on a smaller chair in front of the desk, leaning forward.
“If you want to see it in a positive light. But I’m going to tell you something that is true about all these orphans. They are wicked. They are thieves. They aren’t quite human. A child needs a mother and a father in his life for him to have any sense of morality. Pierrot is the laziest boy I ever saw. He’s distracted as easy as you please. If a bird flies by, he drops what he is doing and just stares straight up at it.”
“Perhaps he is so affected by beauty that he will risk a beating just to gaze upon it.”
“Do you really want a boy this old? They can be quite set in some terrible ways.”
“Yes, I think he is the right age for me. I am much, much too old to look after a young child. And my other children never spoke to me when they were that age. I find young men very interesting. They are right at the beginning of their ideas. Their personalities can be so ferocious or so weak. I think that boy has an extraordinary character. And to think that he was able to develop it while living in an orphanage. Do you know anything about his mother?”
The Mother Superior shrugged again. She was just overwhelmed with disgust at all the stupid girls who had been such fools to get themselves pregnant. She vaguely remembered some story about a particularly naughty girl who went by the name of Ignorance at the H?pital de la Miséricorde. But it hardly seemed worth scouring her memory for such a girl.
“They all seem to be the same girl to me.”
The Mother Superior seemed rather concerned that Pierrot wasn’t going to be forced to work all day long. Mr. Irving promised that he intended to use Pierrot as a servant—as his personal valet. Actually, he changed his mind about what he was going to use Pierrot for right in midsentence. But it was some sort of job.
“I will make a sizable donation to the orphanage.”
? ? ?
PIERROT WAS GIVEN a cardboard suitcase to put his things in. It had belonged to a mother who had died in childbirth. The lining was printed with dark purple plums. Pierrot sat on the edge of his bed and put the suitcase on his lap, using it as a desk. He had a piece of paper and a pencil he’d borrowed from another boy. He quickly wrote Rose a letter.
Dear Sweetheart,
I don’t know what in the world came over me. I’m a clown! You know that. I am going to stay with a peculiar gentleman so that I can play him piano to soothe a certain pain that seems to be plaguing him. Please write to me at this address to say that you have forgiven me. And I will write you piles of love letters. And, of course, we will be reunited soon.
“I’d hurry up if I were you. Before the man changes his mind,” the Mother Superior said.
As he was leaving with his coat, his enormous scarf and his empty suitcase, Pierrot passed in front of Sister Elo?se. She thought he was going to tell her how painful it was to part from her. Instead he walked right by. She took his hand, and he pulled it from her with a small shudder, indiscernible to anyone but Sister Elo?se. Knowing that he was leaving made him feel bold. He stopped in front of the Mother Superior, who was standing at the door a few feet away from Elo?se, and handed her the letter, not caring that she was witnessing the interaction.
“Will you tell Rose that I love her and that I will be coming back for her?” Pierrot asked the Mother Superior. “And that I will most definitely marry her once I have found my fortune.”
Soon after Pierrot left the building, Sister Elo?se stole the letter off the Mother’s Superior’s desk and ripped it up into a hundred pieces and threw it in the trash. It lay at the bottom of the basket like butterflies that had died during a sudden frost.
? ? ?
AS HE EXITED THE GREAT DOOR of the orphanage, Pierrot felt guilty about leaving, especially since he hadn’t seen Rose for weeks. He knew that it was all his own fault. He could have done something to make the old man hate him. He could have explained to the man that he was a degenerate, and then he surely would have left Pierrot behind! But the truth was he wanted to go. Living with Sister Elo?se had become intolerable for him. Here was a chance to exist without her breathing into his ear ever again. Yet he was betraying Rose, wasn’t he? If he stayed, he would eventually convince her that he wasn’t a lout. Even if she continued to despise him, wasn’t it his duty as a lover to remain and accept that acrimony? But the truth was he saw an opportunity and he was taking it and he was leaving her behind. As he walked down the street next to the chauffeur, who was collecting him, he noticed that the black cat was following him. The cat was making him feel so awful.