The Living End (Daniel Faust #3)(72)

“I don’t know,” Emma said. She tugged another tissue from the box and crumpled it in her clenched fist. “I thought…I thought maybe I could get her to cross that line. It wouldn’t take much. A random killing, a mortal sin or two—”

“But she wouldn’t do it, and you know that,” I said.

“She wouldn’t, not if I asked her to,” Emma said. She took a deep breath. “You know, Daniel…she listens to you.”

She could have punched me in the gut, and it would have hurt less. I turned my back. I had to walk away, just a few steps, to keep my temper from boiling over.

I kept my voice soft. “I took the rap for killing Ben, and I didn’t mind, because it was for a good cause. I’ve done a lot of shitty things in my time, and I’ve done them for worse reasons. But this…you want me to talk Melanie into sending herself to hell?”

I turned to face her.

“No, Emma. I won’t do that. Because I’ve still got some f*cking self-respect left.”

She rose from the couch. The box of tissues fell to the floor. She walked toward me, slowly, hands balled into fists and fresh tears welling in her eyes.

“Then let me help. With stopping Lauren.”

“No,” I told her. “You want to take a chance at turning your daughter into an orphan? Leave this to me. You go home. Go home, be with Melanie, and stay with her.”

“Then you do something else for me,” she whispered hoarsely, forcing the words out. “You do whatever it takes, and you kill Lauren Carmichael. I can’t lose Melanie. Not for eternity. Please, don’t let her take my baby from me.”

“I promise,” I said.

That much I could do.

Emma turned, flustered. “I should go. I have to prepare, have to get notifications out—”

Caitlin reached out and clasped Emma’s shoulder. Her eyes were hard as emeralds and her lips a tight, bloodless line. I realized, looking at Emma’s face, that this was the Caitlin she needed right now. Not her friend, but the prince’s hound, in complete control. A bastion of cruel authority to hold back the storm.

“Hell prevails,” Caitlin said.

Emma took Caitlin’s free hand and raised it to her lips, kissing the curve of her pale fingers. Caitlin stared impassively, nodded once, and saw her to the door.

I hoped that when she turned around again, her mask of ice would thaw. If anything, after she clicked the lock and met my eyes, she was colder than before.

“I had to make a difficult decision tonight,” she said.

“So basically just like every other night?” I asked, trying to find a smile.

“Don’t be flip. Not now. Daniel, do you understand what the scope of Lauren’s power will encompass, should she master the Garden? She will rule over life and death itself.”

“Right. She’s going to kill everybody. We know that.”

“You think?” she said. “Will she be that merciful to her enemies? After all you’ve done to stand in her way, what do you think she’d do to you, given her whims?”

I suddenly thought back to the New Life clinic. That poor mutated bastard, bloated with black tumors and cannibalized by cancer, dying in unimaginable agony.

Except I wouldn’t die, I thought. She would NEVER let me die.

The sudden chill in the room must have shown on my face. Caitlin nodded.

“There are more hells than mine,” she said.





Thirty-Five



“I ’m not backing down,” I told Caitlin.

“I know,” she said and took my hand.

She led me into the bedroom. I wasn’t sure what she had in mind, until she pulled back her gray silk pillow. A dagger lay underneath. It was a short, nasty little blade with a jagged edge and a handle of bone.

“I thought about killing you tonight,” she said.

I took a step back, toward the open door. “What? Why?”

She crossed the distance between us and took hold of my shirt collar.

“Because I keep what is mine, and you are mine. Because I don’t want to take any chance of losing you to Lauren’s revenge, cut off forever between two severed worlds. Because,” she said through gritted teeth, “I love you.”

She let go, shoving me back, and turned away. The anger in her words grew, her voice breaking as she tried to hold it in.

“And that’s why I can’t do it. Because if…if that’s what I feel for you, if it’s really love, then I have to trust you. And I have to trust your choices. And these are feelings…these are feelings I was not created to deal with, and it is not f*cking fair!”

“Hey,” I said.

She turned around. Her bottom lip quivered, trapped between pearly teeth.

“I think you’re doing a pretty good job,” I said.

She gave a tiny shrug and stared at the carpet.

“Thanks for not killing me.”

Her gaze lifted to meet mine. Maybe she’d expected me to reject her when she told me what she was feeling. Maybe part of her had wanted me to. I tried to make sure she didn’t see anything in my eyes but understanding. What I saw in hers was a spark of hope.

“Don’t mention it,” she said, sounding tired.

“Besides,” I said, “I promised Emma, so you know, now I have to win. That woman holds grudges like crazy. Do not want to get on her bad side.”