The Lies Between Us (The Devil's Dust #4)(60)

“Wow, to the point, huh?” I chuckle.

“Well, I mean, it’s no secret you’re avoiding everyone.” Dani laughs and my cheeks warm with humiliation.

“Ease up, Dani; I don’t blame her. This club…” Doc shakes her head. “Let’s just say, it can be unconventional sometimes. That order your dad gave Lip was f*cked-up and you know it.” Doc looks over her shoulder and furrows her brows at Dani.

“No, I agree it was. But it’s what had to be done.” Dani shrugs. The depth of her loyalty to this club is something I envy. No matter how wrong The Devil’s Dust can be, she always has their back.

“Regardless, Cherry is a human. She has feelings. Lip could have been a little less, I don’t know, personal about the whole thing.” Doc tilts her head and chews on her bottom lip. “Did he say he loved you? Did he make love to you?”

I turn and look out the window next to the bed. The sky is dark; I wonder if it will storm.

“Well, did he?” Dani questions.

The tears I was trying to hold back fill to the rim of my eyelids and spill over.

“Once, but the way he made love to me before was so intimate, as if he was telling me he loved me through sex. I figured he was just a guy who didn’t do the mushy shit that he conveyed how he felt through his actions.” I fiddle with my fingers. “Lip was very persistent when we met, and came on so strong. He and I were in a wave of lust, in a sea of tangled sheets every other day. Maybe that’s all it was, though—lust. Or maybe I fell in love so quickly I became blind.”

“Ouch. I can’t even imagine,” Doc mutters.

Dani leans in close, placing her hand on my knee. “I love this club. I’ll do anything for this club. But the reason why we came in here was to tell you that you are one of us, through and through. Lip went too far in that-that job. We’ll make his ass pay,” Dani promises.

“Damn straight,” Doc agrees.

I laugh and wipe at my cheeks.

“Thanks, guys, but you’ll probably just make it worse,” I advise.

“Probably,” Dani agrees. “But we’d do it for you.”

“I’m good, but thanks.” I smile.

“You need to find out if you were just business to Lip, or if it was more,” Doc adds. “I see the way he looks at you. He cares about you, Cherry.” I lower my head and bite my bottom lip. I am not sure if I want to know though. I’m scared that I was nothing but a job and Lip was just a really good actor.

“Don’t act like you don’t want to know. You love him, Cherry, and if you walk away without finding out, you’ll always wonder if he really loved you,” Doc tells me. I roll my eyes and pick at the blanket on the bed.

Delilah giggles, and my eyes shoot to the little girl. My heart aches. I want Piper so badly. I just want to hug her, to have her little arms wrap around me and pull this bitterness from me.

“This will all blow over, and before you know it, you’ll have your little girl back and she’ll be here with ours.” Dani smiles, her tone optimistic.

“Yeah, then you can go crazy with us.” Doc laughs.

My heart sinks, my stomach turns, and I feel like I may puke. The thought that I may get my daughter back is too much for me to even handle. I want it. I want it badly. I never thought it was a possibility, though.

The door opens and Tom Cat pokes his head in.

“Dani, Doc, you might want to get in here. Zane got a Hot Wheel stuck in Addie’s hair.” A loud scream sounds from the hallway. “Yeah, she’s pissed. Zane thinks it’s funny, though.” Tom Cat chuckles.

Dani and Doc give each other a knowing look before both hurrying out the bedroom door.

As soon as it shuts, I sigh with relief. I don’t know how many more therapy sessions I can have with those two. They make me… feel. I don’t want to feel. I just want to lose myself into a tomb of darkness, not feeling anything. A tranquility of never-never land. A land where nothing bad ever happens, and the only feeling you experience is numbness.

***

I wake with the sound of thunder and groan. Slowly sitting up on the bed, I see a plate of food next to the door. I missed dinner, or was it lunch? Bringing my knees up, I rest my elbows on them. I survey the room—it’s trashed. I sigh with a sound of dread. Maybe if I clean this place up, it will help the way I feel. I crawl off the bed and kick at some posters. I grab the iPod Dani gave me from the dresser and swipe through the songs, landing on “Look Good For You” by Selena Gomez. My eyes perk with the lyrics, ideas swiping through my mind. As much as I don’t want to care if Lip had any real feelings for me, I know I truly do care for him underneath all my resentment. I bite my fingernail and eye the dresser. I wonder if I walk into the club wearing something so revealing what Lip would do. Would he care, or would he shrug it off now that the orders have been lifted? If he reacts, then I know I was more to him than a job. If he doesn’t do anything then I know my place, and I’ll need to move on as much as it may hurt to do so. But at least I won’t beat myself up thinking what if.

I grab the dresser drawer and start rifling through it, finding a small red dress wadded into a ball in the back. Perfect.

I pull it over my head, the silk material clinging to my thighs. It’s skintight, showing off my curves perfectly. I spot some black heels under the dresser and put them on, too. With all the guys in the club, I can surely get at least one to look with these. If I can make Lip jealous then I know I have some effect on him.