The Knocked Up Plan(70)
My belly flips upside down as I open the message.
* * *
Ryder: Tune in to my show in five minutes.
* * *
They are the longest five minutes in the history of the world. Especially because at four minutes and thirty seconds, I have to pee.
Thirty-Nine
Ryder
“It’s the end of this episode on dating and mating, and before I sign off, I have something to say.”
Across from me, Jason gives a nod, a sign that he’s ready. I tug the mic closer as if I’m getting intimate with it.
I suppose intimacy is a fitting word. It’s the thing I’ve shunned. The thing I fear. The thing I want desperately.
“In the last several months, the show has changed. You might have noticed. Did you notice, Jason?”
“Absolutely. You’ve gotten funnier.”
I laugh. “Dude, I was always funny. Take that back.”
“Fine,” he says in mock indignation. “You’ve gone soft, then.”
I smile. “Some might call it soft. I like to think I’ve become less of an ass.”
I glance at my watch, hoping that a certain someone is listening. Hoping she’ll come stand outside the studio window any second.
Jason snaps his fingers. “Ah, yes. That’s another way to put it. You’ve had a jackass-ectomy.”
I shake my head in amusement. “And it was a painful process, man. Let me tell you. I went kicking and screaming most of the way. But then . . .”
He picks up the thread. “And then?”
I picture Nicole at the diner asking me to give her half the ingredients she needed, and it’s like a bulb glows in my chest. “A certain someone came into my life.”
Jason hums an impromptu romantic tune.
“Our listeners might recall the series we did on ten dates to winning a woman’s heart,” I say, sneaking a peek at the window once more. A co-worker walks past us on the other side of the glass, head bent over his phone. No sign of Nicole.
“Start with a trapeze, and you never know where it might lead,” Jason tosses out.
I glance at the window again. Where is she? “You might very well wind up where I am, several months later,” I say, keeping my voice cool and calm.
“And where is that, Ryder? Tell us where you are.”
She’s still not here, but I’ve got to jump off the cliff regardless.
“I’m in love,” I say, holding my arms out wide. “I’m madly in love with the woman I took on the trapeze. She turned my world upside down.”
Jason smiles, but he’s quiet now because the time for banter is over. It’s all soliloquy as I put my heart on the line, for everyone to hear.
“And I want to tell our listeners a little bit about how I fell in love with her.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a flash of red. A curve of purple.
I turn the chair, moving the hanging mic with me, and I see her. Her cheeks are flushed, like she just ran down the hall. Now she’s staring into the window of the studio with a wild grin that tells me to keep going. She wants to hear what I have to say. Her earbuds are in her ears, her phone is in her hand, and the stage is mine, and mine alone.
I can do this. I can say this. The chance to be with her is worth the risk.
“Falling in love with her was different than falling in love with our baby,” I say, and Jason’s jaw comes unhinged, and he points to Nicole’s stomach and to me, the question in his eyes.
I nod a yes to him, but keep my eyes on her.
“Yes, that’s right. The woman I took on the dates with me is having a baby. She’s having our baby, and I couldn’t be happier about that”—I pause for a second, realizing I don’t need to go into detail about the timing—“development. With the baby, it was love at first heartbeat. As soon as I heard the galloping horses, I was done for. No holding back. That kid is mine, and I’d do anything for my baby.”
Nicole’s lips quiver, and I feel a starburst of emotions—love, happiness, excitement.
“But falling for the mother of my unborn child? I’m not going to lie. When you’ve had your heart eviscerated, it’s a little harder to love again. I tried to fight it. I tried to pretend it was something else, but I’m not some unaware fool who doesn’t know better.”
Nicole brings her hand to her mouth, pressing her fingers against her trembling lips. Her eyes widen, brimming with tears. My heart grows bigger in my chest.
“Every day, I fell a little deeper. For her mind, her soul, her body, and, most of all, her heart. Her wonderful, huge, amazing heart that cared for me, looked out for me, and has this endless well of love.” My throat swells with emotion as I profess my deepest feelings for the woman on the other side of the window. She is stunning with her beautiful round belly, the tears streaking down her lovely face, and her fingers pressed to the glass as if she’s trying to reach me. To touch me. But she already has. “Her love, you see—it’s limitless. And I want her to know I’m not just in love with the baby—I’m in love with the woman. Mad, passionate, she’s-the-one love.” I point to her, and she clasps her hands to her heart and mouths I love you, too. Nothing in the whole wide world can contain my grin as I finish, “I am wildly in love with the mother of my child, with the woman I took on the trapeze lesson, to the cupcake shop, on the geocaching date. With the love of my life. And that’s how you love a woman. With your whole heart. Thanks for tuning in.”