The Iron Butterfly (Iron Butterfly #1)(22)

I watched in horror as the world slowed and the pitchers in slow motion flew up, up and then down all over me and a few students that were unlucky enough to be close enough to me. The young page, whose name I was unable to recall, looked horrified. I could hear murmurs followed by laughter as students began to gather and applaud at the mess I had made.

A piercing laugh rang out louder than the rest and I looked up through the tresses of my now sodden black hair to see the sneering face of Syrani. She was sitting precariously close to me and was oddly the only one who was not covered in cider. Her friends and colleagues didn't look amused as they glared at me.

Tears stung my eyes as I tried to stand up, the laughter continued as puddles of cider pooled around my feet. Keeping my head low in embarrassment, I bee-lined for a hasty retreat; only to slip again and stumble into a broad chest. Hands grabbed my arms to steady me. Too late, I would have recognized his scent if I didn’t recognize his voice. Joss.

“Thalia? Is that you?” The shock in his voice made me panic. Self-consciously I was thinking about how awful I must look at that moment with wet hair hanging down my face, my uniform stained a dark color from the cider. I knew I looked pathetic and needed to escape his piercing eyes and forthcoming pity. I tried to move away but he was still holding me by my upper arms; trying to get me to look him in the face. I kept my head turned away.

“You…You're…you're all wet!” he stuttered, looking somewhat confused as if he just noticed the cider seeping through my shirt onto his hand. Or maybe he was used to seeing me like a wet mess. “You look awful!” he muttered.

Those words pierced my soul like a fiery dart. That was it? That was all he had to say after weeks of not seeing me was “you look awful”? I know that I had gained a lot of the weight back I had lost, my face had filled out, but not too much and I regained soft color to my cheeks. My eyes didn’t have dark circles under them and my dark hair shone in the firelight. I know for a fact that I wasn’t a beauty but I was hoping for a better impression than awful.

“Look what Joss caught …a rat,” Syrani laughed at her own joke that only she and I would get, but her clique of followers joined in laughing anyway.

Joss’ hands tightened on my arms angrily, whether it was in response to me or Syrani’s barb I didn’t know.

“Joss, why don’t you let the kitchen rat scurry along back into the kitchen? You did promise you would help me with my history lessons after dinner,” she pouted beautifully.

I looked up at Joss for the first time in weeks and studied his outline up close. His jaw showed the shadow of stubble, he was tanner and a little broader in the shoulders, but other than that he was the same. Except now his dimple was hidden by the clenching of his jaw. His fingers were like a vise on my arms, he still hadn’t released me, and showed no signs that he planned to.

“I’ll be right there,” he said as he let go of one arm and pulled me away from the curious onlookers and Syrani. I glanced over my shoulder at Syrani’s enraged face and knew that I would pay for it later. Joss pulled me toward a hallway.

“Joss, you have to let me go, I’m going to get in trouble.” Ignoring me, Joss pulled me down another random hallway and as soon as we rounded the corner he stopped suddenly. I had no choice but to run into him. Joss turned on me, a heated look in his eyes.

“Have you been here the whole time?” he spat out. I could tell Joss was furious, which surprised me.

I hung my head in shame refusing to look at him. “Yes, I’ve been living and working here at the Citadel for the past six weeks.” I tried to look at a spot over his shoulder so I wouldn’t look him in the eye and have him see how guilty I felt.

“And you didn’t think to come see me; to tell me that you are all right? I had no clue what happened to you after you told me off. I’ve regretted every day walking out on you.” He ran his hand through his blonde hair, messing it up. I inwardly sighed at how becoming it looked on him.

“I wanted to be there for you when you spoke with the Adepts, but after what Darren said and then the way you acted, I lost my temper and left. I was angry with you. I told myself you were out of my hands and that I wouldn’t give you another thought. But that was a lie.” He turned to me, his green eyes softening. “Two days later I stormed into Adept Lorna’s office and demanded to know what happened to you. That infuriating woman only smirked and told me that you were in good hands.”

Speechless, I looked at him, wondering what I meant to him. I felt a guilty thrill race through my body. But then I remembered what Lorna said about what he could one day become. I remembered my station in life and dared to not even hope.

He slammed his fist into the wall. “But, darn it. Don’t you understand? I..I, when I pulled you out of the river you were almost dead and I kept you alive. I feel responsible for you.”

My back stiffened. “So that’s all I am to you? A responsibility?”

“No, that’s not it.”

He started to lean forward, and I was pinned between Joss and the wall.

“Then what is it?” I interrupted questioningly, almost dreading the answer.

“I don’t know, but I…”

He didn’t get to say anymore before Avina rounded the corner obviously looking for someone, but stopped when she saw the way Joss was leaning over me. Joss looked up.