The Intuitives(9)

“You got no proof, Mongol,” he sneered back.

“Hall camera behind you says otherwise, Peanut. Are you going to move, or should I go ahead and call Miss Anderson out here?”

Vinnie glanced over his shoulder at the security camera and then glared at her a moment longer anyway, but Sam stared him down without flinching until he grudgingly removed his arm and let her by.

The second bell rang just as she stepped through the homeroom door.

? ? ?

“Now remember, even though this doesn’t count toward your grades, you still need to do your best. Your scores will be matched against those of comparable districts. If the scores here are significantly lower, the entire district will have to take the test again.”

There were several groans throughout the room as Miss Anderson walked up and down the aisles, placing scratch paper on each student’s desk.

“That’s right,” she said, nodding. “So do your best—unless you want to spend another two hours of your lives on this little exercise next week.”

What difference does it make? Sam thought glumly, but she had no intention of tanking it. If she didn’t do well on any test, even one that didn’t count, someone was bound to call her parents for a conference on ‘why our perfect Samantha is behaving erratically.’ Those conversations never ended well for her.

Miss Anderson finished handing out paper and started around the room again, this time with a box of Number 2 pencils.

“The test has three sections, each thirty-six minutes long. The first two sections have seventy-two multiple-choice questions. The final section has thirty-six short answers.”

Seventy-two questions, thirty-six minutes. No problem. No reading comprehension, that’s for sure. Not at thirty seconds per question. Probably math or logic or science.

Sam let herself grin just a little. Those were her best subjects.

Miss Anderson gave out the last pencil and started around with test booklets and answer sheets.

“Fill out your name on your answer sheet as soon as you receive it. Do not turn the test over until it is time to begin.”

S, oval nineteen. S is for Samantha. S is for student. Sam composed an acronym for ‘Samantha’ as she filled in each letter: S-A-M-A-N-T-H-A. Student… aggravated, answering, arbitrary… Student Aces Maniacally Arbitrary Numbskull Test, Having Answers.

“You will have exactly thirty-six minutes to complete this section.” Miss Anderson returned to the front of the classroom, where she waited until the second hand of the clock was on the number twelve.

“You may begin.”

Sam turned her test over.

1. Which color is the best color?

A) red

B) yellow

C) blue

D) purple

E) orange

Sam glanced around as a low murmur pervaded the classroom. Everyone was either staring at the test in confusion or leaning surreptitiously across the aisle to see if a neighbor knew the answer. As if there were an answer. What color is the best color? What kind of question was that?

Miss Anderson ignored them all. She just sat at her desk, reading.

OK, fine. Let’s see. Red means danger, so that’s out. Yellow is for cowards… don’t eat yellow snow… yeah, not yellow. Blue is for sky… water… blue eyes… blue jeans… maybe blue? Purple is for royalty. Nothing wrong with that, but this is America—not exactly popular here. Maybe that’s a trick? And orange… sunrises, sunsets… I guess caution signs are kind of orange? Seriously, what a stupid question. Who wrote this test, anyway?

Sam didn’t see why blue would be better than orange, but it was probably more popular, so she chose it on the theory that most standardized tests were not especially inventive.

2. Which of the following best describes humanity?

A) exciting

B) well-intentioned

C) innovative

D) predictable

E) resourceful

Really? Sam stared at the question until she knew she was taking too long to answer. As ridiculous as it was, she had to pick one.

She couldn’t honestly say she found most people to be exciting, innovative, or resourceful. Some, sure, but certainly not most. That left ‘well-intentioned’ and ‘predictable.’ Sam figured she was supposed to choose ‘well-intentioned,’ thereby proving that she was a healthy, well-balanced teenager with a positive outlook on humanity.

But she just couldn’t bring herself to ignore ‘predictable.’

People got up at the same time every day, went to the same places, had the same arguments over and over… repeated the same opinions on the same topics of conversation. There was an insufferable rhythm buried within the mind of almost every human being Samantha Prescott had ever met—a numbing monotony that had been threatening to drag her into the depths of despair for years—and if someone was actually going to ask her about it, even if it was only on a stupid test, she was damn well going to be honest.

D. Predictable.

She filled in the answer meticulously, definitively, watching her pencil go around and around, blackening the oval with more than just a small sense of satisfaction before finally moving on.





4


Daniel



Ahuge grin spread across Daniel Walker’s face as he popped his chin to the funk strains of “Too Hot to Stop” by The Bar-Kays, his shaggy blond hair swaying back and forth to the rhythmic beat of his imagination. Although the room’s mission-style architecture was about as un-funky as you could get, that wasn’t about to stop Daniel from enjoying a musical interlude, especially if the situation demanded it. And to Daniel’s mind, it usually did.