The Identicals(97)

“I fell in love,” Tabitha says.

“Whoa,” Harper says. “With whom?” Try as she might, she can’t imagine Tabitha falling in love with anyone on the Vineyard. Except for maybe Ken Doll. Has Tabitha fallen in love with Ken Doll?

“Franklin Phelps,” Tabitha says.

With Franklin Phelps? Harper thinks. It takes her a moment to connect the dots. Then she sucks in her breath. Tabitha has fallen in love with Franklin Phelps. Sadie’s brother.

“I met him at the Ritz,” Tabitha says. “He was singing. And while he was singing, some jackass started hitting on me at the bar.”

“Jackass?” Harper says. She knows many, many people who fit this description.

“Franklin saved me. He brought me home.”

“When was this?” Harper asks.

“My first night here,” Tabitha says. “And then Franklin took on this job. He’s the general contractor.”

“He is?” Harper says. “I saw Tad leaving, but I didn’t think… I mean, forgive my asking, but you knew he was Sadie’s brother, right?”

“How would I know that?” Tabitha says. “I had no idea, and he didn’t tell me. But then when I found out he was a contractor and I asked him to work on the house, he said he couldn’t. He said there were extenuating circumstances, but he wouldn’t tell me what they were. Then he changed his mind and agreed to work on the house. I mean, have you even seen this place? It’s incredible.”

“Incredible,” Harper says. Her heart is constricting. The house is incredible, and the idea of Tabitha and Franklin working together to make it so is crazy and wonderful—two people Harper would never have put together in her mind, but she can see it now.

“Then he had dinner with his parents, and Sadie was there, and I guess she isn’t doing well, but it was still okay, sort of, until Sadie found out that Franklin is working here and dating me. She can’t handle it. She asked him to stay away from me.”

“And he listened to her?” Harper says. “He’s a grown man, first of all, and second of all, you’re not me.”

“You don’t get it,” Tabitha says. She manages to rise from the bed, but she seems smaller, waiflike; heartbreak has diminished her. “Sadie is his sister. And you are my sister.”

“And I ruin everything,” Harper says.

“You ruin everything,” Tabitha says. “I’ve basically lived in fear of people spitting on me since I’ve been here. Random strangers are bad enough, Harper. But this. This!”

“You should have told me you were seeing Franklin,” Harper says. “I would have warned you.”

“Warned me you were screwing his sister’s husband?”

“Yes,” Harper says.

“You are incredibly selfish,” Tabitha says. “And you always have been. You went with Billy. You left me and never looked back.”

Harper stares. Tabitha is hurting, she reminds herself. She is venomous like this because she hurts. But now that Tabitha has brought it up, Harper is being given something she has never had before: a chance to defend herself. “That’s not true. What we did was fair. We shot for it. I even gave you best out of three, Pony, and you still lost. And no one was more surprised than I was. Getting to go with Billy was the only time I ever beat you at anything. And you’ve made me feel awful about it for my entire adult life.”

“After Julian died, I promised myself—”

“What happened with Julian wasn’t my fault,” Harper says. “And it wasn’t your fault. It was nobody’s fault, Tabitha.” It feels wonderful to state her case after all these years of silence. “Julian was sick. He died. It was tragic, Tabitha, and I can’t pretend to know what it feels like to lose a child, but I assume it’s the worst pain I’ve ever felt times a thousand, or times a hundred thousand. I never understood why you blamed me, why you ordered me out of the house, forbade me from coming to the funeral, and banished me from your life, but you are always right and I am always wrong, so I didn’t even question it. I accepted the blame! For fourteen years, Tabitha, I thought I was evil. That’s probably why I got messed up with Joey Bowen. I thought so little of myself: what did it matter if I delivered a package for him? What did it matter if I went to jail? What did it matter if I ended up floating facedown in Edgartown harbor? You had already made me feel despicable. And come to think of it, maybe that’s why I’ve had such trouble with men. Because I was waiting for one of them to assure me I had value. Reed Zimmer was the person who finally did that. He loved me, which made me feel like I was better than I had believed myself to be since Julian died. I knew he was married, and I knew what I was doing was wrong. But I was powerless in the face of how much I loved him and how much I needed him to love me. Maybe now that you’re in love with Franklin, you can understand that.”

“Forgive me if I don’t equate destroying someone’s marriage with love,” Tabitha says. “You are selfish and reckless and—”

“And I’m always wrong,” Harper says.

“You were wrong in stealing another woman’s husband,” Tabitha says. “And you were wrong the night that Julian died. Admit it.”

“If it helps to hear me say it, I’ll say it. I’ll scream it. I was wrong. The night that Julian died, I was wrong. I made a decision for both of us. I was pushy. But even if I hadn’t been pushy, even if I had never come to Nantucket at all, he would still be dead. You know that. In your heart, I believe you know that.”