The Identicals(111)

Ainsley scoots over so she can take her grandmother’s hand. “You heard Grammie,” Ainsley says to her mother and her aunt. “Since we’re talking about Julian, we might as well acknowledge that I lost him, too. I saw the pictures of him that you hid in the bookshelves. I was never allowed to claim him or mourn him. All my friends think I was always an only child. But you two have each other. You’re so lucky.” Ainsley turns her gaze to her mother. “Please, Mama, forgive Aunt Harper. For me.”

“It was never just Julian,” Tabitha says. “I’ve been angry since Harper left with Billy. She won, and I hated her for it.”

“Won?” Eleanor says. “I would hardly describe going with Billy as winning. Or am I dreadfully mistaken?” She looks up at Tabitha. “I always figured you came to your senses and decided you would be happier with me.”

“The point is, Mother, we shouldn’t have had to choose!” Tabitha says. “It was cruel of you—and of Daddy, too—for agreeing to it, for breaking the two of us apart like that. We were inseparable, you knew that, but you thought nothing of snipping us apart like we were paper dolls. One minute we were a duo, a team, a party of two—and the next minute I’d lost the game, and Harper was leaving.”

“What game?” Eleanor says.

“We shot rock, paper, scissors,” Harper says. “The winner got to go with Billy.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Eleanor says.

“What’s rock, paper, scissors?” Ainsley asks. It sounds like something an early English settler would play.

“It’s a game Billy taught the twins because that’s how he and his schoolyard chums used to settle disputes at Boston Latin.” Eleanor looks into her lap. “The winner got to go with Billy. The winner? And the loser had to stay with me. Was I really that bad?” Tears shine in Eleanor’s eyes, and Ainsley feels a lump presenting in her throat. Her poor grandmother! She built a career, she made money, she owns houses and fancy things… but she had not been the girls’ favorite. Ainsley knows how she feels. She’s an only child, but there have been plenty of times recently when she has felt like nobody’s favorite.

“We were kids, Mother,” Tabitha says. “We were sheltered seventeen-year-old girls.”

“I suppose your father would have been far more appealing,” Eleanor says. “Billy Frost was as charming as the devil himself. Women of all ages loved him. And you two girls… well, you both adored him blindly. You always fought to be the one he carried around on his shoulders. Both of you Daddy’s girls, through and through. Just like Flossie and me.” She turns to Ainsley. “Be warned, darling, you come from a long line of strong, disagreeable women!”

Tabitha says, “Harper asked a valid question, Mother. When did you and Daddy have these chats about us? You never called him, and when he came to Nantucket, you refused to see him.”

Eleanor wipes her eyes and laughs. “That shows how little you pay attention. Billy came over every night of his stay, after you were asleep.”

“He did?” Tabitha says. “And you… what?”

“What do you think?” Eleanor says. “Like I told you, I loved Billy Frost with all my heart. I was never able to resist him. Nor was he able to resist me, I suppose.” A smile crosses her face, and she sits up a little straighter in her chair. “I would like you girls to give each other a hug, a real hug. And then I’d like you both to clean up this mess I’ve made.”

Ainsley knows her mother and aunt are nearly forty, too old to be ordered around, but they comply with Eleanor’s wishes. Harper holds out her arms and, incredibly, Ainsley watches her mother take a step toward her. Soon they’re embracing. It’s surreal to see two people so alike clinging to each other that way. Ainsley imagines them four decades earlier, floating side by side in the womb. They have been together since the moment of conception. It’s a miraculous thing, when she thinks about it.

When they separate, Tabitha bends down to pick up the shards of glass, and Harper cups her hand to accept them. Ainsley, figuring she’d better not just sit around like a lap dog, hurries into the kitchen for a sponge and a towel. She tries to imagine herself explaining what transpired here today to Caylee. My grandmother took responsibility for my brother’s premature birth… my mother and aunt played a game with rocks, paper, and scissors that determined their futures… my grandmother confessed that she had been secretly rendezvousing with my grandfather for all these years, even though they’re both really old.

She sees Caylee’s smile.

And why not? Despite the drama, when Ainsley bends to mop up the sticky mess of rum and tonic she feels… good. It’ll probably only last a couple of minutes, but for now she’s going to enjoy being part of a happy family. Or if not a happy family, then at least a family without any secrets.

No sooner has Ainsley formulated this thought than Harper clears her throat.

“I’m pregnant,” she says.





TABITHA


This summer, she and Harper have agreed on very little, but they both agree—once they are out of Seamless and back in the carriage house—that it’s time for Harper to return to the Vineyard for good. Tabitha will go back with her, but only for a day or two. She needs to pack up her things and settle up with the subcontractors. She needs to write up a punch list of things for Harper to take care of before they put Billy’s house on the market.