The Hopefuls(100)

For the most part, just like at dinner, Mr. Dillon and Matt were the only ones talking. They were dissecting the other races taking place on Tuesday, picking apart the campaigns and making predictions. I snuck a look at Jimmy, who seemed tired, and sipped my port, which made me feel warm. When Mr. Dillon picked up the bottle to pour us each another glass, I said, “Oh, I shouldn’t. We should probably be going. It’s getting late and I still need to stop by Jimmy and Ash’s to get a dress for tomorrow—I forgot to pack one before we went to the hotel.”

I could feel Matt’s displeasure with my announcement. I’m sure he thought it was rude of me to end the night, but I didn’t care. And when I looked over at him, he said, “We’ll just stay a little longer.”

Jimmy put his glass down on the table and said, “You know what? I should call it a night. Beth, I’ll go back with you to the house if you want. Matt can pick you up when he’s done.”

“Perfect,” Matt said.

Jimmy and I said our good-byes, and if I felt strange about being alone with him or thought that it was a bad idea, it was too late to do anything about it. Changing my mind then would’ve seemed weird, so I followed him outside. It was only when the door shut behind us that I realized his car wasn’t there.

“You walked?” I asked. Even though Jimmy and Ash lived so close to his parents, they always drove. It was the Texas way.

Jimmy shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “The other night I had a little too much to drink and drove home.” I started to say something and he held up his hand. “I know, I know. You don’t have to tell me. I already know. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have done it. Believe me, I feel like an *.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Anyway, tonight I figured there was a chance I’d want to get stinking drunk to deal with my dad, so once Ash wasn’t coming I figured walking was the best bet.”

“Is Viv okay?”

“Yeah, she’s fine. She really does have a fever,” he said, answering the question I hadn’t asked but was thinking. “I mean, I’m sure Ash was thrilled to have an excuse not to come, but the fever part was true.”

We walked down the sidewalk and then turned left at the pond, wound our way back to the house. I would never get over the weirdness of Sugar Land, how appealing and repulsive it was, with its large and beautiful homes, its pretty but artificial terrain. We didn’t talk for a few minutes, just walked silently past a pond, and then Jimmy said, “So, how’s things?”

I gave a short laugh. “Things are fine,” I said.

“Really?” He turned his head to look at me, and I shrugged. I knew what he was asking, I just wasn’t sure how to answer. Was he hoping I’d tell him that Matt and I were even more miserable than last week? Or that things were better?

“No, not really,” I finally said. “Nothing’s worse, I guess. I think it’s just going to take time.”

Jimmy nodded and said, “That makes sense.”

The house was dark when we got there, and Jimmy turned on the lights as we walked through each room. “Is Ash staying at her parents’ tonight?” I asked, and Jimmy said, like he didn’t care one way or the other, “I don’t know.”

We walked through the kitchen, where Jimmy stopped at the refrigerator. “Want a beer?” he asked, and I said, “Sure, why not?” He grabbed two and opened one before handing it to me. It was one of the leftover pumpkin beers from Halloween and it was a little too sweet, but I took a long drink anyway.

I cleared my throat, trying to think of something to talk about, and then finally said, “I should get my stuff.” And as I headed toward the basement, Jimmy walked with me like it was a normal thing to do, followed me down the stairs and sat on the couch outside the bedroom as I went in to grab the dress I was planning to wear the next night. When I returned, Jimmy was reclining on the couch with his feet resting on the coffee table. I draped my dress over the back of a chair and then sat on the other side of the couch, picked up my beer, and took a sip.

In all the months we’d lived at the Dillons’, they almost never came to the basement—I could count the number of times Ash had been down there on one hand, and that was only after I’d called upstairs for her to come and give me an opinion on what I was wearing. And I was pretty sure Jimmy hadn’t stepped foot in there once. They did this on purpose, I’m sure, trying to give us privacy to make it feel like it was our own space. And they’d done such a good job that I’d almost forgotten this basement belonged to them. Jimmy seemed out of place in it.

“What time does everything start tomorrow?” I asked, at the same time that Jimmy said, “You must be ready to get out of here.” We looked at each other, both smiled just a little, and then I answered, “Maybe. It feels sad now that it’s all ending, doesn’t it?”

“You have no idea how sad,” Jimmy said, and I felt like an idiot.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “Of course, I didn’t mean—” But Jimmy held up his hand.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I know what you meant.”

“How are you feeling? I mean, I guess that’s sort of an obvious question.” I felt like I was tripping over my words.

“Not that obvious. Do you know that no one’s asked me that? Not Ash or my parents. No one.”