The First Taste(56)

“Chill,” Randy says. “She can’t hear.”

“Yes, I can,” Bell yells at us. “I heard you say the ‘p’-word and Daddy said the ‘f’-word.”

“Holy shit,” Pico mutters. “Kid’s got bionic ears.”

Randy grimaces. “Sorry, Bell. I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s okay,” she says. “Just don’t say that again. Mrs. Picolli is like a grandma to me.”

I sigh, rubbing the bridge of my nose. “You guys have to tone it down. She’s getting old enough to understand.”

“Fuck’s worse than *,” Randy whispers loudly.

“Is not.” As I text Sammy’s mom that he’s here, Amelia’s name pops out at me once again, the way it has the entire week. I hate how we left things. The way she’d trusted me in the hotel room right before I’d walked out. How she’d missed accepting an award she’d earned. A week away should’ve cooled me off, but it’s made me even hungrier, and not for just anyone. I could have my pick of women in this town, but somehow, the city girl’s the one on my mind.

I stick my phone back in my pocket and remember the envelope. Pulling it out, I slide my finger under the flap and slip the card out. Happy Mother’s Day is embossed across the front in pink glitter. “What the actual f*ck?” I grumble, opening it. It’s blank inside.

My chest burns like I just took a hit of bammer weed. Mother’s Day? What the f*ck kind of demented woman gives Bell, who has no mother, a card like this? As if that holiday isn’t weird enough for us. Steam nearly flows from my ears. Even though I don’t reciprocate, the moms love to flirt with me. Even the married ones. They can be persistent, but this is a whole new level. I don’t know what to make of this. Does a teacher or mother honestly think this is the best way to get my attention?

I tear up the card and toss it in the nearest trash.

“So who’s the chick?” Pico asks, his voice lowered. Curse words are one thing, but he knows I’ll skin him alive if Bell catches us talking about my sex life.

“Nobody you know,” I bite out, dumping leftover coffee on top of the shredded card. “She’s too far out of your league.”

“Yeah?” he retorts. “Well then she must be out of yours too.”

“She is.”

“You wouldn’t believe the ass I got last night,” Randy says. “Two NYU chicks wandered into the wrong bar and ended up getting toasted on Kamikaze shots.”

“Bullshit,” Pico says. “Maybe in your wet dream.”

“Swear to God.” He raises his arms. “I invited them both back with me, but only one wanted to go, so the other one sat in my living room and watched TV.”

“And you didn’t invite me over?” Pico asks, horrified.

“Hold up, I’m not finished. I come out of my room naked and ask the other girl if she’s sure she doesn’t want to join.” Randy’s smile turns sinister. “She ends up jumping my dick. I had one riding me while the other ate my *.”

“Dude,” I say. “That’s f*cking disgusting.”

“Two chicks at once?” He scoffs. “Are you nuts? It was insane.”

“Not that part. I don’t want to believe there’s a woman on this planet who’d put her face . . . there. You clog the toilet on a weekly basis.”

“Well, she did. You ever been sucked off by a twenty-year-old, boss? They’re still hungry.”

As grossed out as I am, sex is on my mind, and it doesn’t take me long to wish I were in the position to call someone up and get some head. Denise would be happy to oblige, and she’s a two-minute drive from here, but all I can think about are Amelia’s red lips, and at the moment, not much else would compare.

“You’re such a goddamn liar,” Pico says. “I don’t believe a word.”

“It’s true,” Randy says. “Except for that last part about the second girl.”

“I knew it,” Pico said.

“She was actually a dude.”

“Oh my God,” Pico says, rubbing his eyes as if he’s trying to scrub away a mental image. “Are you serious?”

“Christ,” I mutter. Randy has no filter, and his sexual preference is anything that’ll fit a dick. After two years working together, Pico still hasn’t gotten used to hearing about anything involving another man. Watching Pico squirm is normally too funny for me to do anything but laugh, but I’m not in the mood today. I can’t deal with these *s.

“Where you headed, boss?” Pico asks as I turn for my office. “Rub one out to twenty-year-old *?”

“To research homeschooling. I’ve just decided to lock Bell in the house until she’s thirty.”

I seriously consider following through. Men are pieces of shit. I don’t want anything with a dick coming around once Bell’s old enough. Maybe she’ll be a lesbian. I knew a lesbian couple once when I was twenty-three and managing a fast food restaurant. One of the girls worked for me and invited me over after we closed. You think that kind of stuff only happens in movies, and it probably does—to other people. I smile to myself as I remember the way they devoured each other and then me. My smile fades and my mind is officially changed. Bell’s not allowed to be a lesbian, either.