The Fidelity Files (Jennifer Hunter #1)(98)

9:40 P.M.

But my body wouldn't move. The backs of my legs were cemented to the white down comforter. My feet were melded to the floor. My eyes were fixated on the clock.

9:42 P.M.

Get up!

I tried to tell myself this would be an easy night. Quick and simple. I'd probably be out the door in a matter of minutes. I'd walk in, order a drink at the bar, and upon locating the subject in question, I'd flash my flirty eyelashes, keep my breasts in his eye line, and then do my best to cram witty and intelligent quips into what was sure to be a short, five-minute conversation – if that.

Sophie could finally rest easy tonight – and every night for the rest of her life. And I would once again feel the rush of adrenaline and satisfaction that had inspired me to start this job in the first place. Knowing that I had just helped someone.

9:45 P.M.

Okay, it's time, I told myself. This is what you do. If you can't do this for Sophie, then what's the point in doing it at all?

Maybe it was the padding in my push-up bra, maybe it was the gold chain necklaces wrapped around my neck, or maybe it was the weight of something far heavier, and much less tangible, but my body felt like it weighed a zillion and a half pounds.

And once again, I couldn't bring myself to move.

I didn't move at 9:46 P.M., and I didn't move at 10:30 P.M.

I didn't even move when the clock struck eleven.

I was paralyzed. Completely and utterly paralyzed.

As in no movement whatsoever. I could barely even feel myself breathe. I wondered if this was what an out-of-body experience felt like. But I didn't exactly have the sensation of looking down on my body; more like my body was keeping me glued down.

When midnight finally fell upon my lonely, white room, my arms broke free from their invisible straitjacket and I reached over and picked up the phone – just as we had planned.

I dialed Sophie's number and I waited.

It seemed like forever before the phone rang. And, just as I suspected, it only rang once.

"Hi." Her voice sounded breathless and I was almost positive it wasn't from running to the phone, but more from not being able to take a decent breath until now.

And, regrettably, I knew exactly how she felt.

"Hi," I said cautiously, careful not to let my voice give anything away. But I knew, no matter how cautiously I spoke, no matter how carefully I chose my words, the fact still remained: What was about to come out of my mouth was a lie. Despite all the efforts I'd made to come clean to my friends.

"Well, what happened?" she asked without any delay.

I felt like I had just gone in a complete circle. Three weeks ago I would have given anything to tell Sophie the truth. To put an end to my deceitful world. And for a brief moment, I did.

But now things were different.

Now would be a time to lie again.

Because the truth was much too complicated for even me to hear aloud. And somehow the lie was easier – it always had been.

"He passed," I whispered.





23

Sail On Through to

the Other Side


THERE WAS silence on the other end of the phone.

"Sophie?" I asked, immediately petrified that we had been disconnected and I would have to find a way to force the lie out a second time.

And then her quiet, shaken voice came through. "He passed?"

I nodded, knowing full well she couldn't see me but still somehow wishing the thought would permeate through the phone so I could avoid having any further deceit leave my lips.

"Yes," I finally said aloud.

"Oh, thank God!" Sophie let out a huge breath. "Thank God!"

"Yes," I said again, failing to think of anything else to say.

"So what happened? What did you do? What did he say? How did it happen?"

I cringed. No details! I can't come up with details! It's too painful.

"Well," I began, "he um..." And then I stopped and paused. "You know, it really doesn't matter how it happened. Why dwell on it? He passed and it's done. Time to move on and leave it in the 'past.'" I forced out a weak chuckle.

She ignored my attempt at humor. "But was it immediate? Or did he chat with you for a while and then turn you down. I mean, geez, Jen, I want some details, for Pete's sake. I've been dying over here!"

I grimaced, knowing full well that I wasn't going to be able to get out of this without giving her at least some specifics. So I decided to go with the simplest, most gratifying story. If I was going to whip up the whole thing from scratch, there was no reason to complicate it or leave any room for doubt. "Nope," I said. "Turned me down flat. Didn't want anything to do with me."

"Really?" she squealed with delight. "What'd he say?"

"Well," I began, "I recognized him from the picture you gave me, walked up to him, tried to spark up a conversation, and he said, 'Sorry, I'm just here with some old buddies of mine, trying to catch up. Plus, I'm engaged.'"

Then there was silence on the other end. "That's weird," Sophie remarked warily.

I was immediately defensive. "Why?"

"Um, it's just that, why would he tell you he had a fiancée right off the bat like that? He didn't even know why you were talking to him. Doesn't that strike you as a bit odd?"