The Fall(57)

The roller door rose with a hit of the button, the car moving quickly inside before I let it slide back down behind me. The next part of this operation needed to be done in private.

“Hey, honey, I’m home.” I slammed the door of the car, leaving Cecile in her seat. Rude of me, I know, but she was too dead to complain.

When we woke up this morning, we didn’t really talk about what happened last night. Hell, I wasn’t even sure what happened last night. I had gone into the bedroom with no intentions other than to go to sleep. It had been a long ass day and the last thing I wanted was conversation. So why the f*ck it ended up like an episode of Dr. Phil was a complete mystery. Still don’t know why, because me talking about my past has happened exactly zero times before. But f*ck me it felt good. Almost too good, which is why this morning we went about our business like I hadn’t held her all night.

Sofia had probably been at the computer most of the day, not having a problem dealing with my online helpers even though it was clearly crossing the line of legality.

“You’re back.” She looked up and smiled, her hair curled into a bun at the back of her neck as she tapped away at the computer. “You do whatever it was you needed to do?”

“Yeah, I did.” I took a seat on the fold-up chair beside her, wanting to get a little closer. “It’s gonna take some extra work to prepare, but I think we can make it convincing. I’m going to need some hair, maybe a little blood from you though. And a shirt you don’t mind losing.”

“What for?” She stopped typing, her eyes narrowing. “Michael, what did you do?”

I figured the way the color was draining from her face she already knew.

“I told you there would be hard choices, Sofia. Your father wants a body; I’m giving him one.”

Her hand went to the cross that hung around her neck, her eyes closing. “No. Not like this. I don’t want to be like him.”

She was always going to struggle; she was deluding herself if she thought any different, but the only way out was to get dirty.

“You aren’t like him. Your father—that cocksucker wouldn’t have cared. So, even though this isn’t who you are, know it’s what you needed to do.”

Circumstance was the biggest motivator I knew. It had shaped outcomes almost every day of my life. And I wasn’t going to feel bad about it. It showed me exactly what I was capable of; hopefully it would do the same for her.

“Where did you get a body?” She hesitated through the words like she was forcing herself to say them.

“Really?” I cocked my head to the side wondering if she was honestly asking that question.

“Please tell me you didn’t kill anyone.” She looked down at her hands and held her breath.

“I did, but trust me I was doing her a favor.” I had no inclination to lie to her, and not because I was trying to be an * either. It was different, like she deserved the truth from me. She’d earned that. “She was going to die anyway, but my way made it peaceful for her. She was thankful; I know you can’t understand that, but she was. I gave her the out she needed, and she gave it to you.”

“I-I.” She stopped, taking a mouthful of air before continuing. “I hate that you killed for me. I hate . . . I hate so much.” Her head fell forward, resting against her chest. “I hate all of this.”

“Hate is powerful, Sofia, but it’s more reliable than any other emotion you’re going feel.” I’m not sure why but my hand reached for hers, my fingers squeezing tight. “Don’t fight it; accept it. Let it carry you, because I guarantee, it will get worse before it gets better. I told you this wasn’t going to be pretty.”

She wouldn’t look at me, her eyes scrunched as I tightened my grip on her hand. “Remember why, Sofia. Remember why this is happening and what your alternative is.”

She’d proven she was tough, and she had earned a truckload of respect from me by the way she’d handled herself. But I didn’t know how much more of it she was really going to be able to take. She had broken down last night—no judgment because most people would have cracked days ago—but seeing her like that stirred something inside me. Not sure if I liked it and I sure as f*ck didn’t understand it.

I could see the war being waged in her head. Her muscles clenched as whatever argument took place continued. If she wanted to live, she was going to have to fight. And there was only one person who could convince her of that, and it couldn’t be me.

“I can do this. I can do this,” she whispered, blowing out a long breath like that decision had been made, her eyes meeting mine. “I want to see her.”

Instinct told me that was a bad idea, but I saw no point in hiding. Maybe it’s because of the way she looked at me, like I wasn’t a monster. And the unexplained need I had to prove that I was.

“She’s in the car.”

Sofia pushed herself out the office chair and waited for me to take the lead. She followed me close behind to where the car was parked, her feet keeping up and showing no hesitation.

The bright overhead halogen reflected off the windshield making it difficult to see her face. From the angle we were standing it looked like she was just sitting there, waiting for her door to be opened, her thin, wasted body fixed in the seat by the seatbelt across it.

“You knew her?” she asked, moving to the passenger side door. “Or was she just some random girl?”