The Espionage Effect(103)

I turned away, sickened by the whole fiasco, bile rising into my throat. My head throbbed, my body…bone-tired. But curiosity stopped me, and I slowly spun back to face the screen. “What happened with the virus? To Anna and the prisoners? To Escobar’s men?”

Common sense told me with EtherSphere’s additional teams of agents watching Escobar’s house, they already knew we’d bombed the hell out of it.

Mom straightened, business face back on. “Anna will be fine. The prisoners are all safe with local officials, their family members on the way. Alfredo Escobar’s men were either killed by you and Alec or apprehended by local law enforcement. The only evidence they have of Miguel Escobar being on the scene is his blood stain on the cement.”

I blinked, uncertain if I’d heard her correctly. “You stole his body?”

Dad gave a slight headshake. “Miguel isn’t dead. Anna shot him up with the same Field Cocktail you received. We need him alive. He’s developed an antidote. But you destroyed all the notes for its formula.”

Ahhh… “The clean rooms.” They’d been developing more than the problem. They’d created the cure. For Ebola. Or at least their villainous strain.

After a short nod, Dad continued, “They’d masterminded more than an outbreak. They’d also activated sleeper agents across the States to hide bombs at key CDC installations and quarantine stations. We’d only been able to decipher that coded communication once you and Alec left with Escobar’s men. We disabled the skeleton crew he’d left behind and were able to infiltrate their computer systems.”

I gasped, not realizing anyone had been there when our plane crashed from the sky.

“No one was hurt,” Dad continued. “They plugged in to the computer network, and we accessed their systems remotely.”

On a hard nod, I huffed out a heavy breath. “Good. We’re done here.”

Without another word, I turned away once again. But this time I walked from the room. I continued on down the hallway, through Alec’s living room, and stepped out onto his back deck that led toward the beach.

The sum total of everything weighed heavy on my chest, making it difficult to breathe. Countless betrayals stacked high, and I found it impossible to distinguish among them.

When my toes sunk into the damp shaded sand, I turned, sensing Alec’s steady presence.

He stood only an arm’s reach away, a pained expression etched into his features.

Overcome by sudden emotion, tears sprang into my eyes, further blurring the world. But I shook my head and pinched them shut, desperate to stem the rising tide.

Heat pricked over my skin seconds before his palms rubbed up my arms, over my shoulders, until he cupped my face in his trembling hands. Undeniably drawn toward him, I blinked open my eyes. Moisture glittered in his as he stared down at me.

“Yes, Devin,” he whispered. “Yes. Don’t say ‘no’ to us. Take the time you need. Process what you have to. But don’t say you’re done with us.”

On a hard swallow, I lifted my hands to his. Not sure of anything other than my next breath, I gripped his wrists and tugged them away from me.

His gaze searched mine, dropped to my lips, then raised up to stare hard at me.

Before he did anything stupid, before I got sucked in and did something I would regret, I stepped back. My chest ached, heart slogging with every beat.

My thoughts drifted to the ocean engulfing me not even an hour ago. How I’d almost given up, let the depths swallow me whole, take away my suffering in this world.

But, no. Death was too sweet and easy. Far better to suit the dark world I’d cocooned myself in for all these years? Torture. To be denied the one thing I’d always wanted but never realized, never fully admitted to myself. The one thing I felt I’d never deserved. The one thing my sister never had a chance at.

Within reach, inches away, stood that one thing: happiness.

But only if I wanted to continue the deception.

Excruciating torture, if I were to more accurately describe how my heart felt as it shredded from my chest.

“No.” The word croaked from my constricted throat. “I’m saying it, Alec. What do we have? We have nothing. A life based on lies is hollow.” I huffed out a sardonic laugh. “Trust me, I know.”

When I took another step back, needing to increase the distance between us, he took a step forward. “Then we base it on something else. Something more.”

I wanted to believe him. Every desperate part of me, body and soul, wanted there to be a way in our impossible situation. “On what?”

“On truth. On you. On me. On who we really are. Through it all, that’s always been true.”

The weight on my chest grew heavier, crushing the air from my lungs. He didn’t understand. How could he…when I didn’t?

“I don’t know who I am, Alec. That’s why I came down here.” My voice caught, and I inhaled a shaky breath. “I don’t trust anyone,” I whispered. “I especially don’t trust myself.”

Because I’d deceived myself most of all.

This time when I took a step backward, then another, he didn’t follow.

Gaze locked to mine, he stared at me, eyes boring deep into my soul as if he knew what lay there, even if I didn’t. His hands dropped into the pockets of the wet cargo pants plastered to his legs. “You know who you are. Listen to yourself. Really listen. Then trust what you hear.”