The Ending I Want(38)

I get that there’s a point to what he’s telling me.

“He used to take me up in his plane, and we’d fly for what felt like hours. We’d just be up there, and I loved it. But the thought of being the one in control of the plane…totally different ball game.”

“No kidding,” I say.

“Grandpa told me that we’d go out on the weekend. So, for the whole week leading up to it, I was worried, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. It wasn’t about being up in the sky. I loved that. It was the thought that he wanted me to do something…so big. The closer we got to the weekend, the more afraid I got. I even thought about faking an illness, so I wouldn’t have to go. But then I knew he’d just reschedule for another time. And…”

He briefly looks away from me, and I wonder if it’s because he doesn’t want me to see what’s in his eyes. But then he’s back looking at me, and I feel better for it. His eyes on me…just makes me feel better.

“He’d taken me into his home and cared for me, and I guess…I didn’t want to let him down. So, I told myself that I had to man up and do it.”

I keep getting these snippets of Liam but nothing tangible to tie any of them together.

“Saturday morning rolled up, and Grandpa got me up early. He drove us to the airfield, and I felt like vomiting the whole way there.”

“I would have vomited without a doubt.”

He chuckles. “So, we got there. Got out of the car. Walked over to his airplane. The whole time, I’m telling myself I can do this. Then, I got up to the plane, and I just froze. I literally couldn’t move. Total freak-out moment.”

“Understandable. You were twelve, and your grandpa was asking you to fly a plane.”

His laugh is rich and deep. “Grandpa realized I wasn’t moving, and he asked me what was wrong. I was embarrassed to tell him the truth—that I was afraid—but I also didn’t have another excuse to get out of it. I felt cornered, so I told him that I didn’t want to fly his plane because I hated flying with him, which wasn’t true. I loved being up in the sky with him. But my fear had gotten the better of me, so I lied. And, in turn, I hurt him. I saw it in his eyes, and that made me feel sick for real. So, I fessed up the truth. I told him that I didn’t want to learn to fly because I was afraid.”

“What did he say?”

“He hugged me. My grandpa’s kind of a hugger. You’ll learn that when you meet him.”

I’m going to meet his grandpa?

“And then he said to me, ‘Liam, there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Everyone feels fear. But the day you let your fear control you is the day you stop living. Really living.’ Then, he asked me if I wanted to live.”

My eyes are on Liam’s face. I’m riveted. I’ve forgotten that I’m on a roller coaster and that it’s currently climbing hundreds of feet in the air. Well, I haven’t forgotten, but it’s not at the forefront of my mind. What Liam is telling me is. Because it matters to me, more than he could ever realize.

My mouth is dry as I ask, “What did you say?”

He grins, his eyes lighting up. “Well, I was twelve years old, and I didn’t really have a f*cking clue what he was trying to tell me. He’d just hugged me, and I always felt better when my grandpa hugged me. But I knew he was talking about living, and I definitely wanted to do that. And I wanted to make him happy. So, I got on the plane. And it was the best decision I’ve ever made. I copiloted the f*ck out of that plane, and I loved it.

“If I hadn’t done that, then I wouldn’t be the man I am today. I wouldn’t have the businesses I have. My airplanes wouldn’t be flying millions of people all over the world to exotic locations. And I wouldn’t have met you, and I wouldn’t be sitting here next to you on this ride, helping you conquer this fear. My choice to conquer my fear brought me to this moment. It brought me to you.”

Sweet Jesus.

There’s a lump the size of this roller coaster stuck in my throat. Out of nowhere, I feel tears start to creep in. I blink away from him and turn my face forward as I close my eyes.

I feel Liam’s body move closer, his shoulder pressing to mine.

“Open your eyes, Boston.” His breath brushes over the shell of my ear, making me shiver.

I take a deep breath, making sure I’m not going to bawl like a little girl, and I open my eyes to see that we’ve stopped.

And we’re at the top of the roller coaster track.

I can see the whole of London from up here. The sun is setting in the distance, and the sight is incredibly beautiful—just like Liam.

My eyes sweep the view, looking at the dusky pink and orange glow from the sun, as the last remnants of it brush over the tops of the buildings, like an artist’s paintbrush. And below, the streetlamps are coming on, and lights inside the buildings are turned on.

It looks like a painting. A beautiful painting.

“You were right,” I whisper. “It’s beautiful.”

“Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Liam’s free hand touches my cheek, turning my face to his. He presses his lips to mine. Then, he slides his lips over my cheek and says into my ear, “He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.”

I tilt my head back a touch to look in his eyes. “You’re quoting Aristotle to me?” I grin.