The Dry (Aaron Falk #1)(38)
Falk gave a tiny shake of his head. He couldn’t explain it then; he couldn’t explain it now. He had racked his brain over the years. Reliving his last conversations with Ellie, trying to decipher a message or a meaning. To her, he had been Aaron, not Falk. What had been going through her mind when she wrote it? Sometimes he wasn’t sure what disturbed him more: the trouble it had caused or the fact he’d never know the reason why.
“Well,” Gretchen said. “It doesn’t really matter. She was thinking about you in some way around the time she died, and for anyone looking to point the finger, it was enough. Like it or not, Luke was a big character. He was involved in the community. He became a bit of a leader in this town, and we couldn’t afford to lose many of them. I think by and large people just chose to put it out of their minds.”
She shrugged. “It’s the same reason everyone round here puts up with morons like Dow and Deacon. It’s Kiewarra. It’s tough. But we’re all in it together. You were gone; Luke stayed. You got the blame.”
Aaron lunged at him, and Luke stepped back.
“Watch it,” he said as Aaron grabbed his shoulders. They stumbled, falling backward to the ground. They landed with a thud, and Luke’s cigarette rolled out of his fingers. Ellie stepped over and ground it out.
“Watch the sparks, will you? You’ve already managed to scare them. Try not to burn us all to death as well.”
Aaron, pinning Luke under his own weight, felt him bristle at her tone. It was one he’d heard her use on farm animals.
“Jesus, Ellie, what’s crawled up your arse? You can’t take a joke all of a sudden?” Luke aimed for lighthearted bravado, fell short. Aaron could smell the alcohol in his sweat.
“Did no one tell you?” Ellie snapped. “A joke’s supposed to be funny.”
“Christ, what the hell’s wrong with you these days? You don’t like a drink, don’t like a laugh. You hardly come out, you’re always working at that stupid shop. You’re so boring now, Ellie. Maybe you and Aaron should just get together and be done with it. Perfectly bloody suited.”
Boring. As the word landed, Aaron felt like Luke had hit him. He stared at his friend in disbelief, then grabbed the front of his shirt and pushed him away so hard Luke’s head hit the ground with a smack. He rolled away from Luke, his breathing ragged, not trusting himself to look over.
Ellie stared down at Luke sprawled in the dust, her face showing something worse than anger. Pity. All around, everything seemed still.
“That’s what you think?” She stood over him. “You think your friends are boring because they’re loyal to you? Because they show some sense once in a while? The only joke round here is you, Luke. The fact you think it’s OK to use people for your own amusement.”
“Get stuffed. I don’t.”
“You do,” Ellie went on. “You do it to all of us. Me. Aaron. Your girlfriend over there. You think it’s normal to frighten the people who care about you? To play people off against each other?” She shook her head. “And to you it’s all just a big game. That’s the scariest thing about you.”
No one said anything for a long moment. The words hung between them in the air like mist as each of the four avoided looking at the others. Ellie moved first, turning sharply, and without a second glance, she walked off. Luke and Aaron stared after her from the ground, then clambered to their feet. Aaron still couldn’t bring himself to look at Luke.
“Bitch,” he heard Luke mutter at Ellie’s back.
“Hey. Don’t you call her that,” Aaron said, his voice sharp.
Ahead, Ellie gave no sign whether she’d heard either of them and continued walking at a steady pace. Luke turned and flung his arm around Gretchen, whose sobs had been stunned into silence.
“I’m sorry if I gave you a bit of a scare, babe. You knew it was meant to be a bit of fun, didn’t you?” He bent his head and pushed his lips against her cheek. His face shone with sweat and was an angry red. “But fair enough. Maybe things went a bit far. Said a couple of things I shouldn’t have. Maybe I owe you guys an apology.” He sounded like he’d never meant anything less.
“You certainly owe them something.” Ellie’s voice drifted back in the night air.
None of them had mentioned the argument again, but it had clung to them like the heat. Ellie spoke to Luke only when she had to, and always with the same polite but distant tone. Aaron, embarrassed around Ellie and pissed off with Luke, kept to himself a little more. Gretchen found herself cast in the role of middleman, and Luke simply pretended not to notice anything had changed.
It would probably all blow over, Aaron told himself, but in reality he wasn’t sure. The cracks had been exposed, and they were deeper than he’d realized. He never found out whether he was right or not. Ellie had only another two weeks to live.
Gretchen reached out across the scarred table and touched the edge of Falk’s fingers. The noise of the pub faded a little into the background. She had hardworking hands. Her nails were bare and clean, and the pads of her fingertips were rough against his own office-blanched skin.
Ellie had been wrong about her, Falk knew. Gretchen was never an airhead. She was made of much sterner stuff than that. She had stayed and faced the music. She’d built a life in a community that had got the better of others, not least himself and possibly now Luke Hadler. Gretchen was tough. She was a fighter. And she was smiling at him.