The Dollmaker(The Forgotten Files #2)(106)

He closed his eyes, his face tightening with regret. “No. I am ashamed to say I was seduced by the stillness. I loved her so much when she allowed me to pose her and play with her.”

“I don’t understand.” Her chest tightened as she tried not to imagine the last moments of Diane’s life.

“A doll doesn’t move,” he said simply. “She merely is there for me. All of me. Unconditionally. She is all mine.”

Every instinct in her body demanded she twist her hand in the strap. The muscles in her body begged her to rip her hands from the restraints and get free. She wanted to run to the door. Scream for help. But she couldn’t surrender to impulse. Like Dakota, she had to lock away her fears until she could find the right moment to escape. “Who wasn’t there for you?” She spoke softly, as if soothing a small child.

The question sharpened his gaze. “What are you saying? That my family didn’t love me? My mother and father loved me. My sisters loved me. They just didn’t know me.”

“I know they loved you,” she said shifting course. “But their not understanding you must have been so painful.”

“I saw the fear in my sisters’ eyes. They started locking their doors at night. I just wanted to watch them sleep. Do you know how much it hurt me when I discovered they were locking me out?”

“I spoke to your sister Carol to tell her about your father’s death. She said your mother saw you eight years ago. Did you try to go home?”

“I wanted to see Mom. But when she looked at me, she was terrified. It broke my heart.”

“That’s when you killed the woman in Denver, right?”

He pressed his fingers to his temples. “Questions, questions. You sound like a doctor. A know-it-all.”

“I don’t know it all, but I want to. I want to understand you.” She forced a smile that she prayed looked friendly. “I just want to be there for the real you. I mean, we are going to spend more time together.”

He studied her, his gaze narrowing as he slowly shook his head. “No, you’re trying to get into my head.” He set aside the scissors and reached for a straight razor. “It’s what women do. They twist your thoughts, and they confuse you. Say one thing. Do another. Dolls don’t do that. They are what they are.”

“I’m not like that.” She feared that desperation was creeping into her tone.

“No, you are lying. My father used to say all the time how my mother would get in his head. She drove him crazy with her complaints about me: ‘Robbie is staring at the girls again. Robbie stole more matches. There was a fire today.’ But my father wouldn’t listen to her. He was kind to me despite all her complaining. I loved her, and all she could do was talk about the bad things. I thought things had changed while I was away, but I saw for myself eight years ago she still hated me. A mother shouldn’t hate her son.”

“What were some of the good things you remember about your mother? There must be happy memories.” She needed to keep him calm and talking.

Absently he studied the light gleaming on the scissors. “I loved my mother. I loved my sisters. I just wanted to be close to them. They didn’t understand.”

“Your mother loved you. You were her flesh and blood.”

“She didn’t. I know it. That’s why I set the fires. I wanted to burn away the pain.”

“The fires weren’t your fault.”

“Dad didn’t like what I did, but he tried to understand. He kept telling me the anger would go away, so he was always covering up for me.”

She hesitated before she said his real name. “It’s okay, Robbie.”

He tensed at the sound of his name. “No one’s called me that in a long time.”

“Did your father help you change your name?”

“He knew how it was done. He had a new name for me. He brought me to Virginia. Got me the job at the funeral home. It was all fine for a long time.”

“Until Kara.”

His grip tightened around the scissors. “She was an accident. I told you that.”

And Knox had covered it up. “He figured out you killed Terrance.”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“Stupid and sloppy on my part. I didn’t mean to hurt the boy. It was never part of the plan. Knox came by the funeral home early, and he saw my van. He looked in the back. He never really trusted me and was always checking up on me. He saw the boy.”

“But he didn’t tell.”

“I begged him not to. I told him it wasn’t my fault. He just stood there staring at me, and I thought he would. I thought that was it for me.

“But he just shook his head and left. When he showed up at Roger Benson’s funeral, I thought he’d tell then. But he never did. He was too afraid.”

“He must have loved you very much.”

“I thought so.”

But Knox sent his files to Agent Sharp. He knew Sharp would figure out the trail to the DNA evidence hidden in the old arson case.

“Why kill Terrance?” Her voice was a hoarse whisper.

“He saw my face. He said he wouldn’t tell, but I couldn’t take that risk. I had Destiny to think about.” His eyes darkened. “I was truly sorry about his death.” He looked at her, his eyes filled with anguish. “I tried to make his death quick. Painless.”